A Day In The Life of The Haiti Lady

RIP GOEFER

2012-01-10T19:54:00.001-08:00

Today we said goodbye to a wonderful family member. Goefer showed up one day at our old house on KCID. We called local Animal Shelter to let them know and ran an ad in case someone was looking for her. After several days it became apparent that no one was...she was ours. Her name became Goefer due to the HUGE holes she would dig in the dirt. That girl LOVED to dig a huge hole and lay in it to keep cool. When we moved to our new home, she went and was able to have a fenced yard and a new friend, Fizgig. She and Fizzi had free run of the back yard. Still, even with all the grass to get into, she chose nothing but dirt to dig in, pretty smart if you ask me.

Goefer was with us before we had children. We have pictures of Goefer in our home study to adopt Boo. It took 18 months to adopt Boo, who will be 15 in May...Goefer was grown when she came to us, so she is AT LEAST 16 years old.

For a medium/large dog that is OLD..ancient.

Over the last few years she has become hard of hearing and her eyesight is not the greatest. She was still great with the kids, always smelling them and then realizing they were 'her kids' and never harming them or getting grumpy with them. She would smell the girls rolling on the grass trying to practice their tumbling and she would promptly go over and sniff their hair and lick their faces as they hung upside down.

Goefer-we love you, we will miss you so much. Fizzi will be lost without you. We know you were tired, sore and not having as much fun as you used to. You were able to spend your last day laying in the afternoon sun eating treats...what a good end to a wonderful life.

My Family

2011-12-21T21:10:00.000-08:00

This is a Picture of our Family on 12-31-10. All of us tired but smiling. Hoping for a repeat this New Year!

As the new year approaches I think of so many blessings, struggles, changes that we have had through out the year. Boo is now a full fledged Teen/ Young Man.....Roo is becoming her own Teen/Young Woman, C-Man is entering 11 and Mitch will be 8 soon. We have not had any new children come home in 5 years. Hard to imagine that 5 whole years has passed since C-Man and Mitch arrived, it seems like they have always been here.

All 4 kids have bonded well, grown tremendously and are healthy inside and out. Not that they are without issues, but they all know that

THIS is HOME

THIS is FAMILY

THIS is FOREVER!

Broken Hearted

2011-11-14T09:06:00.001-08:00

As a parent I have always wanted to shield my children from any heartbreak, bad moments, bullies and the like. Lately, I have seen that it is IMPOSSIBLE to do this, and may not be the best for the child in the long run...although it is NOT easy to see your child hurt, it is something they need to experience to grow as a person.
Case in point:
Mitch has a girl at school that is mean to her. Now, if you know Mitch, you know that it is hard to NOT like her...she is friendly, kind and loving to everyone. She sees no enemies and truly wants the world to be the perfect place it should be. We have explained to Mitch that this is not so, and that there will be mean people all over the world...just to avoid them if possible and live her life the best she can. A mother bear moment took a hold of me when Mitch came home and told me that this girl told her 'she hated Mitch and would stab her in the head and heart until she died'. Yeah, NOT HAPPENING you little punk-ette! Mitch did the right thing by telling the Teacher, Principal and us, and anyone who would listen. Now the school is aware but the Principal wants this girl to 'confess' what she said (although 4 other girls have come forward with the same info) so she can adequately punish the girl. I have made it known that THIS is NOT going to matter, that is that child says this to my kid again, I will call the cops! Lesson learned....

Boo is having his teen issues...Oy Vey ;-P Boo decided to try out for Basketball. Very proud of him for trying! His High School is big, over 110 boys tried out for Bball and only 14 spots per team (Varsity, JV, Frosh) were avail. Some of those were taken due to returning players....after 2 days of try outs, he did not make it. To see your son stand there and NOT be chosen made my tummy hurt. I wanted to kick the Coach and ask him why my son was not picked, he was just as good as other boys....according to my hubby, THIS would have been embarrassing to Boo, so I did NOT do it. hehe
Boo was bummed, but I know he will recover. He knows what he needs to work on and hopefully will try out again next year. I however, still want to kick someone.....

I wish I could take all the hurts, the brokenness my children see and experience....I know it cannot be done, and probably should not be done....however, this does not make it easier.

On The D.L.

2011-10-28T10:16:00.000-07:00

I have been staying off my blog and staying Down Low....trying to keep things inside and work thru them...not sure it is helping. I do not like to write things that could hurt others feelings so I tend to bottle them up until my chest hurts-physically hurts....not good.

Just say a few prayers for me-that I can work thru extended family issues, that may all be me and in my mind, but may also not be just me and my mind.

Hurtful things have been said and done and I have let them fester without saying things to the offenders...need to rectify this with God and myself so I do not hurt the people that I do LOVE, but often times do not LIKE 100% of the time. Need to remember, we are all but humans

Two Adults, One House, No Fun....

2011-10-11T11:36:00.000-07:00

Over at www.dreamingbigdreams.net Jamie wrote about loving our husbands and our children. I enjoyed her post and read it feeling quite overwhelmed and guilty. Curt and I do NOT make time for Date Nights, not once a week, not once a month and we barely squeak by with once a year (I think it usually ends up being his Companies Christmas Party). I am ashamed to say that our children have taken over our lives. :-(

I guess it isn't bad to be involved in your children's lives, but I think we have been overrun with them and their activities...we have become two adults just living in the same home.
We commented to each other the other night (a rare stop and talk to each other moment) that we each felt in a rut...Football x 2, Cheer x 2, AWANA's x 4 kids etc....it goes on and on. We both feel that we spend so much time running from activity to activity, barely meeting in bed at a late bed time, that we never get to enjoy each others company or just 'be'.

I feel we have begun surviving life, not living it.

It has been 4 years or more since we have gone camping....a vacation-YEAH RIGHT! I cannot remember one, alone or with our children.

I hope this changes once Football is over...that we can make it a PRIORITY to spend time with just us...to remember that we should not and can not wait until the kids are grown to do this. It must be important, to be taught to our children that we are as important to ourselves and each other as they are to us. Hopefully in doing this, we will cement their worth in themselves and future spouses.

Daily Life-Every day I'm Shuffling

2011-09-28T13:02:00.000-07:00

Daily life around here has been going crazy-what is new?? My new Calendar reminder on my phone plays the funky LMFAO tune-'Everyday I'm Shuffling', definitely fits!!!

On a sad note, we lost our dear neighbor, Isabel Pena. Isabel was a GREAT lady. She made tamales every Christmas and always had special treats for the kids in the cul-de-sac every Halloween. The kids would always go over and take her mail in when the weather was bad and scoop her sidewalk when it snowed. We will miss you Isabel- your smile, your kindness, your belief that the Saints were with you every minute of every day, your ornery giggle that you gave while hiding your mouth and shrugging your shoulders while we talked about the crazy neighbors...RIP!

Football x 1.5 boys is in full swing (I will explain the .5 in a minute) and Cheer x 2 is in full swing.

.5 Football=Well, about 3 weeks into football, and before the first game, Boo was completing 2 a days and working his fanny off..he made it to Starting Running Back for the Freshman Team...he.was.STOKED!
He came home one day complaining that he had 'jammed' his left pinkie finger, and could I ice it for him. After examining it, I felt that more damage was done than 'jamming' but what do I know....I was an EMT and Instructor, but when I talk to him I am just 'mom'. We iced and buddy tape for almost 2 weeks...me moving it and checking it every day, him telling me "it was fine and did not hurt...to quit making a big deal about nothing". One day, almost 2 weeks later, he comes to me and says "mom, my finger REALLY hurts and every time you move it to check it, frankly it makes me want to vomit!" Ok...into the doc we go-several x-rays and a Hand Specialist later, we have a severely broken pinkie that cracked into the knuckle and growth plate; surgery is a MUST.
Fast forward now to today, surgery was done Sept. 12 and required 2 pins into his knuckle, pinkie is healing and we are still waiting to be cleared for play in football...eh, maybe we will just be ready for Basketball when that season starts...haha
C-Man will be wrapping up his first season of Tackle on Oct. 8th...just in time to begin the newly formatted Basketball League our School District puts on. Not sure how I feel about it, since we are going away from 'Teams' and just having 'Clinics' on Saturdays for a couple of hrs. with 2-3 Saturdays being 'Game days'. Will definitely free up the week nights, which have been crammed with activities for 2 months now...YEAH!!!!!!

Cheer will begin Competition Season and our first one requires the girls and I to travel to a small town in the upper part of the state-great weekend getaway (I tell myself this and if it is a lie, don't remind me..)

If we were not busy enough, we have a new kitten, Gimli. Gimli's mama kitty is a wild stray at work. She had 3 kittens and while moving them, abandoned Gimli in the conex box for 2 days. After 2 days, the guys were sure mama was not coming back so they brought the 2.5-3 week old, hungry and matted kitten to me...now I am mama. Bottle feedings and washing her to get her to go potty has taken me back to the old days of Squirrel rehabbing, but it has been great. Daily Gimli goes to work with me and either sleeps in a cat carrier (or on the desk if she is whiny..ha) Rich people have purse dogs, I have a purse cat!

And The Tax Saga Continues

2011-09-13T13:51:00.000-07:00

Alright, I didn't want to come here and complain, but here I am...We originally submitted out Taxes for 2010 in February 2011. New laws had taken affect for Adoptive Families, making the 'credit' you received towards your adoption expenses as completely REFUNDABLE. What happened before, is that when we adopted C-Man & Mitch, we received an Adoption Credit on our taxes that was carried over for up to 5 years. This year was the last year for us to claim our adoption tax credit, and next year our taxes will be completed like 'normal' people. ;-P
Out of many of the people I have spoken to, our refund amount is TINY..not to us, but to many. However, we are moving at a snails pace for the actual refund. We have received letters stating the IRS needed more info from us, to assure we were not defrauding them out of the money we say is owed to us, and that the children are actually people, and not pets I guess. We have sent all our paperwork that is required, once with the original packet in February and once again in April. Now, get this: we received a letter from the IRS, stating that we are "DENIED SAID REFUND DUE TO TRYING TO CLAIM REFUND ON OUR BIOLOGICAL CHILDREN"...really? Did you JUST put THAT in writing?
ANYONE that has ever seen my family KNOWS the children are adopted-it could be the extreme height of our Roo, The afro of our Boo, or possibly the fact that C-Man and Mitch came home when they were 5.5 years & 2yr 7mo...I don't know, but I WANT, NEED to know how it is POSSIBLE for a woman to give birth to a 5.5 year old and a almost 3 yo Simultaneously......
I asked today if it was possible to send a photo with my Appeal Letter, so they can see our smiling faces and see some of the 'differences' that make up our family unit.
WOW...so Proud to be in a Country where Idiots can have such a powerful job! FRUSTRATION at its peak!

Stormin' Norman...RIP

2011-08-25T10:37:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was a HARD day for our family. We lost our beloved Stormin Norman Schwarzkopf, he was 8.5 years old.

Norman showed up at my mom and dad's house one day. Mom was out watering the lawn (flood irrigating) and he ran across the busy road in front of their house. He ran thru the water-stormin after my mom...meowing, begging for attention, he was a kitten. Mom and Dad kept him for about 2 weeks but their other 2 cats did not like him so she asked if we would take him...he was a doll that is for sure, we said yes.

Norman quickly became Boo's cat. He slept on Boo's bed (under the covers most nights) and laid on Roo's bed while she was at school. Roo has never been lovey dovey with pets, and her bed is OFF LIMITS to ALL animals...Norm would have NONE of that! ;-P

He grew, and grew until he weighed 20lbs and could reach the middle of your back when standing on his hind legs to tap you to pay attention to him, which he did often.

Norm was fond of stinky, sweaty feet, shoes and loved to have you rub his body with the smelly socks when you got home from a long day at work or school....Boo's cleats, basketball shoes etc were a favorite-they were extra stinky.

After C-Man and Mitch came home, Norm decided they too were awesome. He slept on C-mans bed until he fell asleep and then would move to Boo's until he was asleep, he loved to cuddle with Mitch on the couch in her blankets.

It was not unusual to find Norm laying in the bathroom sink, often making it very difficult to brush your teeth or wash your hands...he loved water. He very rarely drank like a normal cat, most of the time he drank out of the sink....when forced to be an 'animal' he drank by dragging his paw in the water and drinking off of his foot. He and his bestest buddy, Skittles, would gather in the kitchen for chicken, hamburger or anything else they could convince us to give them as a treat.

In the last year, Norm has had various health issues. He grew a tumor on his right ear, which we loving referred to as 'ear boob'. We had his ear boob removed, leaving a large cat with 2 different sized ears....he didn't care!

Norm began sneezing a few months back, we chalked it off to cat cold. About 2 months ago he began vomiting and not wanting to eat. We tried soft food, hard food, etc. Vets looked at him and he had good blood work with liver count a little high but otherwise they could not find anything wrong with him.

About 3 weeks ago he took a turn for the worse. Vets believed he had an ulcer and prescribed Pepcid every day.....let me say this-TRYING to give a 20lb cat Pepcid is a sight to see! Pepcid seemed to help, Norman continued sleeping with the kids and eating less, but overall feeling better.

About 1 week ago he crashed. He would not eat, everything gave him diarrhea, vomiting, water became non palatable and his weight plummeted to 11 lbs. He craved being in the sink, but was to weak to get in himself...I would place him there and turn the water on for him to stick his whole head in.

Yesterday we had to make the hard decision to let Norman go. Vet said that his liver was very swollen and he possibly had cancer...we will never know 100%, it doesn't matter now, he is happy, healthy and loving chasing the birds in Heaven. He is buried at the old house next to Bingo...his other bestest buddy!

Norm, you will be missed...we love you and will think of you often. Remember us as well! Your kids said a Prayer for you last night when we had your funeral, you were truly loved!

Atheltic Season Begins..Shoot Me Now! ;-P

2011-08-12T10:42:00.000-07:00

Alrighty, now is when our lives become absolutely crazy!

Boo is in Freshman Football this year...makes me nervous, I will not lie. He played tackle last year, but the kids seem...BIGGER this year. I have been told, I am NOT allowed to enter the field if he is hurt, even if I have the skills to help him-it is TOTALLY inappropriate for your mommy to enter the playing field regardless of her abilities, she is still just your MOM. :-(

Roo begins Jr. High this year. She is excited as her 2nd year of Competitive Cheer begins, Hair extensions are in place and we have grown about a foot....nice-she will be taller than the teachers. Entering Jr. High also allows for other athletic choices, she is EAGER to have Track start-she, like Boo, RUNS LIKE THE WIND!!!

C-Man is in 4th grade this year and is beginning his first year of Tackle Football...see all of the above info about Boo to see how I feel about the whole tackle idea...ugh. We ended flag football with a broken toe last year, and that wasn't even a real game, that was playing flag football in a friends yard-BAREFOOT! Praying this year is easier on the body as C-Man is growing up and into his athletic own.

Mitch is hitting 2nd grade. This will be her first year in Competitive Cheer. She is excited to show off her moves and splits-I know this because we do it at home, the grocery store, the dentist office, Church etc ;-P

We are looking forward to more time with a new/old friend 'S'. S will not be able to come join our family, but he is going to remain a special part of it. We are excited to watch him grow and flourish where he is living now, and desire to be part of his life LONG TERM-something he has not had in the past. Life amazes me, the twists and turns and how I try to control it all from my end, when God has it all wrapped up ahead of time.

Looking forward to new things, old things and just being!

Roo Funny

2011-08-10T12:19:00.000-07:00

Last night I was reading the news online while Roo looked over my shoulder. She was astounded at what she read-just the headline:

"Four Armed Men Kick In Apartment Door, Rob Residents At Gunpoint."

R: MOM, those guys had 4 arms? WOW!
Mom: enough said......

Bullets

2011-08-04T20:53:00.000-07:00

So many things going on in my mind. Will bullet point it so I do not write forever

* Praying for Haiti-Tropical Storm Emily has been pelting Haiti with wind and rain. Who says prayer doesn't work-storm is now miraculously disappearing!

* Roo is excited....not only is she going to Jr. High, Saturday she is going to get her hair did...that is right, we are getting box braid extensions....WOOHOO for LONG hair! Will post pics later.

* Worried that AFTER the long hair will be in place, Roo will have a horrible tic due to the fact that she will for the first time in her life have hair 'that moves' that she will flip her head around so much that people in Jr. High will think she is....'special' :-)

* Boo is starting HIGH SCHOOL...this makes me weak in the knees. Am I old enough to have a high schooler? Will he enjoy being a Freshman? So...many...thoughts...

* Tomorrow is K, our Funsitters, last day. Always makes us sad to see her go back home to Cali. Of course, it means school will be starting soon as will though.

* Cheer season is starting again tomorrow and then throw in C-Man's Football...going to be running around like we work at Headless Chicken Industries (Thanks for the title Amy)

* Wishing our income tax return, the Adoption Credit part, would come...STILL reviewing it, since February...Really? It is OUR MONEY that we spent to adopt...I have a few choice words for the ole IR*, but if I put them here I could possibly be audited....haha

Dinner Conversation

2011-08-03T09:13:00.000-07:00

Now, I would NEVER tell anyone that our dinner conversations were 'normal'. We enjoy sitting at the table as a family and talking about our days, enjoying each others company etc. Sometimes...this can be 'dangerous'

In our home we tend to be pretty open with the kids about our bodies, parts and functions. Having 2 parents that used to work on an Ambulance tends to do that. We 'prefer' the kids use different names for certain body parts when in public, but when at home, we are very frank about things, sometimes this can come back to haunt us. Here is a dinner conversation about 2 weeks back....

C-Man: Mom, where do eggs come from?
Mom: From chickens
Boo: chickens butts (said with ornery smirk on his face)
C-Man: eeewwww...really?
Mom: Well, yes
Roo: If it is an egg, it has to come from a girl chicken..girls have vagin*s...do chickens have vagin*'s
Mom: um...not sure, may have to google that one
Mitch: I'm a girl, do I have Angina?
Mom: V..agina is a girl part, Angina is a form of a heart attack/Chest pains. Yes, you are a girl; yes you have a Vagin*
Dad: Oy vey!

C-Man Funny

2011-07-27T09:02:00.000-07:00

Two Sundays ago our Church had Communion. As Baptists, we do this maybe 1 time a month or so. C-man has now hit 10, and is to old for Children's Church and must sit in the main sermon area. I don't know if I agree with that since he has a difficult time understanding what is going on with the regular sermon, and I feel he would get more out of the children church activities than he does when he sits with us.
This, is the conversation we had yesterday, 2 weeks AFTER the fact...

C-Man: Hey mom, I liked when we were at church a couple of weeks ago and we had that snack.

Mom: What snack?

C-Man: You know, the little square and the juice, it wasn't apple juice tho...it was weird.

Mom: Oh....THAT

C-Man: Yeah, but we need to tell Pastor G that I was still hungry after that snack and we should get more.

Mom: Oh no C-Man (trying to stifle my giggle..he still cracks me up with the lack of understanding of many things since he was much older when he came home from Haiti) That was called Communion. We take it to remember the sacrifice that Jesus made for us on the Cross when he died for our sins.

C-Man: (staring blankly at me)

Mom: The little bread is supposed to be like Christ body and the juice is to be like Christ blood

C-Man: (Now a horrified look on his face) You mean, it is like we are eating Jesus?

Mom: um....Pastor.....

Visits & Summer Fun

2011-07-25T15:55:00.000-07:00

Crazy Kids with K ;-P

Mitch @ the Zoo-She LOVED petting the butterfly

Mitch with staright hair...peopel think she has Mickey Mouse ears when her hair is like this...haha

C-Man and Mitch @ the Parade

Roo left home for the first time this last week, she was enjoying her time at Church Camp-YEEHAW..She had a blast, came home exhausted, full of knowledge and sad to be done but glad to be home..ALL rolled into one.

We had a visit with a little friend this past week, a little guy that we hope may some day be part of our family. Right now we have done paperwork, and put our names in with the appropriate people, now we must wait for the powers that be to make their decision.

If things pan out the way we are hoping and Praying for them to, we will post here if has indeed come to be with us. Continue to Pray for the right decisions to be made, (although selfishly I want it to be us) and that all, especially God and the little boy are served.

We are enjoying the past little bits of summer. The kids with K, the 'Fun Sitter Extraordinaire' are enjoying the zoo, water park, pool, lemonade stands and slip-n-slides.

My Favorite Peeps

2011-07-10T17:27:00.000-07:00

Us on New Years Eve of 2011

Us at Yummy Tucano's May 2011

( Don't let Boo's sad look fool you, he is playing the part of a brooding teen)

A Wise Woman Once Said

2011-07-08T21:42:00.000-07:00

Sometimes The fear Of The Unknown, The Fear Of Leaving Our Own Comfort Zone, Keeps Us From Doing What Is Truely Planned For Us~Please, Let Me Not Be Afraid...
LeAnne 2011

Hot Dog Cook Out

2011-07-01T22:26:00.000-07:00

For our 20th Wedding Anniversary my parents got us an outdoor fire pit. Many a night the kids beg "can we burn our own dinner?" Nothing better than Brats, hot dogs, Smores and memories!

Mitch taking charge of 3 brats

C-Man posin' and looking cool

Daddy burning his meal

Roo trying to fend off Goefer the dog

Boo eating his 'burnt dinner'

Mitch Cheer Fun

2011-07-01T22:24:00.001-07:00

Here is Mitch and her Bestest friend J...Two peas in A Pod!

Summer In Full Swing

2011-06-29T11:51:00.000-07:00

Hey, long time no see!

Summer is in full swing and we are enjoying it tremendously. Evening bike rides thru the neighborhood with the kids; 5:45am walks with hubby; Day time fun for the kids with K, The Nanny Extraordinaire, and busy work schedules. Been able to set aside time to attend Church EVERY SUNDAY! God is VERY good!

We are approaching a new life change with the possibility of adding a new member to our family. We shall see how the Lord plays the plan out before us, but we hope and pray for this person every day. We shall update everyone if it happens..until then Prayers are coveted for God's Will to be done.

Of course, those that know me, know my OCD is in FULL SWING with the above possibility and the paperwork involved...what a roller coaster of a ride. Beginning Home study visits soon and we will go from there...oy vey! ;-P

Frustration..Vague

2011-06-26T21:30:00.000-07:00

Have you ever wanted to do something that everyone didn't like? Have you felt drawn/destined by God to do something that ever mortal person thought you were insane to do? THAT has been the last month of our lives.

We have been contemplating doing something that we feel drawn to do only to be met with odd looks and major cautions from people we love. We know that their desire is good, that they love us and care for us and our family, but it is frustrating....to have NO support about something that is life changing for so many. I have felt utter frustration over the mixed feelings...elation at the ability to help someone and fear that I held in my own heart. Came to God in Prayer and with my family in our home and felt that we were all in agreement that we are making the right decision only to have others look in from the outside tell us NO, you are CRAZY.

We continue to pray for God's guidance, and understanding from the outside world. That only God's will be done, not ours or others.

R.I.P. Grammy!

2011-05-28T22:40:00.000-07:00

Mary Perryman
Mary (Pegram) Perryman went home to be with her husband who couldn't wait another day. Mary was the love of his life.
She missed his teasing, his affection, laughter and most of all the dancing. They loved to dance.
Mary was born May 14, 1932, in Caldwell, Ida., to Garry and Goldie Pegram of Homedale, Ida.
She married Richard "Cotton" Perryman June 27, 1948, in Winnemuca, Nev. They had four children, Pam (Ron) Garner, Cheryl Clark, Garry (Susan) Perryman and Richard Perryman II.
Mary was a devoted wife, a loving and kind mother and a caring grandmother. Her favorite things in her earlier years were knitting, crochet, and macramé.
She loved fishing and enjoyed traveling with Cotton, especially after his retirement. They enjoyed so many, many friends and treasured times with their families.
Mary's favorite times were family reunions - the camping, laughter and card playing. But any trip to Jackpot or Wildhorse she could be ready with a day's notice. She knew how to talk to those machines.
Mary loved lots of shoes, purses and her jewelry. She missed the days of fancy hats, dresses and gloves.
Mary is survived by her daughter, Pam Garner of Caldwell, and her son, Garry Perryman of Trenton, N.J., eight grandchildren, 10 great-grandchildren, and two great- great grandchildren.
Mary was preceded in death by her husband, Cotton in 1998, her daughter Cheryl in 1999, and son Rick in 2008, her mother and a sister.
Mary became too weak to battle a return of cancer. Three days before she left us, she asked her nephew Terry and her sister Betty to get her up so they could visit - Mary's way of saying, thank you for your constant love.
Services will be held at Flahiff Funeral Chapel in Caldwell, Idaho at 11 a.m., Tuesday, May 31, with a private family interment following at Wilder Cemetery in Wilder, Ida. A luncheon will take place following the services at 2005 East Linden at the community hall next to Mary's home.
All friends and family are asked to attend and share your memories of Mary. Mary's online guestbook is available at www.flahifffuneralchapel.com. Published in Idaho Press Tribune on May 26, 2011

Argh

2011-04-22T21:23:00.000-07:00

I have not posted for a while. I have been busy, heart sick and just ARGH!

I have had several families contact me about problems with their adopted children...possibilities of disruptions and just frustration. I want to help so much, I really do...we have struggles of our own as well, and contrary to popular belief, I do NOT have all the answers. ;-)
I had written a long post about how I felt about adoption, disruption and the pain it causes ALL parties involved. It was wonderful to get it out of my head and heart, but not for public consumption. I do NOT want to seem like I am judging anyone, do not wish to hurt anyone or not be able to get my point across in the way it was meant to come across....therefore, I have deleted it.

I also heard today that my Grandma P is ill. Grandma P is 70 some odd years old and has beaten Cancer and live to tell about it. Over the last year she has aged so much, she is tired and worn from the years of loss she has suffered....outlived a husband, a daughter and a son. She is currently in a nursing/assisted living home. My aunt called me today to tell me that Gran may not be long for this Earth....I am so conflicted about how I feel about it...happy for her to finally be with her husband she has missed so much, but sad for those of us who will miss her. Whatever the good Lord chooses, I know it will be the right one, but not for us to understand until some time later.

I pray every night, and ask those of you that check in here, to pray for me as I try to discern what is ahead, choices that are made and that wisdom pours from me to others so I may make some difference to them

Loss in Adoption

2011-03-21T16:12:00.000-07:00

One thing people always say when they talk to us or our children when we discuss adoption is how 'lucky' the kids are that we adopted them. I love to tell people that WE are the ones who are lucky enough to be blessed to raise them as ours, and that we have the opportunity to do so because someone else made a very difficult decision to give their child/ren up.

One thing many do not understand bout adoption is the loss involved in it. In order for us to be happy and joyful that we have children, someone else must be sad that they are giving their child away to be raised by someone else. While I am so honored to have the kids I have, in a perfect world, their Birth families would have had the option of raising them on their own, without this even being a 'choice' they had to make.

People underplay the loss that a child feels during the process of adoption, one that can last their entire lives. I see this sadness, anger, misunderstanding and grappling with the truth in my own kids every day.
Does this mean they are unhappy with their lives? No. Does it mean we are not doing a good job raising them? No. What it means is that they have an innate NEED to know WHO they are, WHERE they came from and WHY their life is the way it is.
One of the things we try to tell our kids often is that it is OK to ask questions about Haiti, Adoption, their Birth Families etc. We WANT them to understand that it does NOT make us angry nor does it make us feel inadequate...it makes us happy to be able to share with them what we know about their pasts and to find out what we do not know so we can fill in the blanks if possible.

To see your child hurting due to something no one can change, it is hard. I pray that we will be blessed to pass on to our children as much knowledge about themselves and one day make a trip to Haiti to see where they are from and hopefully reconnect with Birth Families. Until then, I pray for guidance and wisdom in raising them to be proud of who they are, sure of their places in this world and their guarantee for the next one.

Praying for Japan

2011-03-12T19:01:00.001-08:00

Prayers of healing for the People of Japan. A 8.9 Earthquake hit and then set off a Tsunami with 30 Foot wall of water. For an Industrialized Nation, where Haiti is not that industrialized, this is a major hit. Many have passed during this tragedy and the counts are not all in yet. Remember Haiti, New Zealand and now Japan, as they battle to survive.

Good Visit

2011-03-08T19:41:00.001-08:00

It has been an absolute wonderful 4 days with my Sister, R. I am hoping she puts some pics up soon so I can scavenge from them and post them here.
R's visit came at a hard, but wonderfully healing time. Monday, March 7th, marked 3 years to the day our Dad died. This is the first time R has been here since the funeral, and it allowed us to spend some quality time alone and visit at Rick's grave. We talked ALOT....healed ALOT and enjoyed just being together.

Being the oldest of all of my Sib's (E from the same mother) and R.L and R (from the same father) has allowed me to share my wisdom with them. I am 6.5 years older than E and was raised with him in the same home. I am 19 years older than R.L and 21 years older than R, they were raised in California with their mother.
I was able to experience life with Rick differently than R.L and R did. Our memories are different of him, and I was given many messages for them by Rick, in case he was not able to share his life with them as they got older.
I hope I was able to give some of those messages to R in a clear and concise way, to make sure that she knows that she was loved ALOT by our father, even tho many times he was unable to show it outwardly.

I was glad we were able to go to Rick's grave on his anniversary, leave some flowers, cry and blare The Beatles from the truck as snow fell....Rick, You are missed!

The Gift

2011-03-01T19:41:00.001-08:00

In my lifetime I have received many Gifts that have reminded me that GOD is watching over me. Today, I was brought to tears by a gift from someone, a blessing from a messenger...the hands and feet of GOD on this Earth.

After work today I was approached by somone I know and love dearly, a family friend. This person told me that even though she does not 'go to church', she has always been Christian and tithes to an envelope. Once that envelope is full, she prays to GOD to tell her where that money is to go. She said often times it goes to the local Homeless Shelter, Salvation Army, or person she knows needs it.
Her envelope was full, and she had not felt the definite answer the last few days as to where it should go...not 100% like she usually does.
She said that last night she prayed again for GOD to put in her heart a name, a place where the money was needed and could be used...my families name popped into her head so vivid that she woke her husband to tell him, he smiled and said he agreed, that we were needy and that the funds could be used to the best of its ability.
Today when she appraoched me and handed me an envelope, I thought it was a card. She told me what I have told you, and that it isn't from Her, but GOD...that she wants NO THANKS other than seeing it work the way it needed to, where GOD had intended it to go.
I kissed her cheek and hugged her and off I went.

I ran a couple of errands and dropped kids off at home before heading to a friends to pick something up. I reached into my purse and saw the card. I smiled, thinking how sweet it was for a friend to think of me, and assumed it had a nice note and maybe $20 in it. At the stop sign I grabbed it and opened it and I saw the money...NOT $20, NOT $30...but money that could be used to pay some bills before utilities are shut off and shoes fall off of Mitch's feet...M...O...N...E...Y... A true GIFT FROM GOD.
I quickly closed the envelope, not wanting to count it, cold from shock that this person would think of my family in this time of need, that GOD would put this on this persons heart to give when their envelope was full......
I came home and gave it to Curt...I told him what was said and he opened it...he teared up, I cried.....Tomorrow bills will be paid, Mitch will have new shoes and I will KNOW that GOD truly does perform MIRACLES, although they seem small to some, they are miracles none the less. He uses his disciples DAILY to Bless one person to another.

THANK YOU, A MILLION THANK YOU'S.......YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE!

Vacuums Suck

2011-02-21T16:55:00.001-08:00

Have you ever felt like you are stuck in a vacuum?

I have such frustration sometimes that all I do is getting me nowhere. I get frustrated that many days work is slow and I am bored...now don't get me wrong...getting paid to do a whole lot of nothing is nice sometimes, Other times it is down right sucky. I tend to sit there doing a crossword puzzle and think of all the things I COULD be doing at home or elsewhere. I feel I have accomplished nothing during my day and that makes me restless.

I have sent a resume out to a few places but nothing serious. I love change, really I do..but the unknown freaks me out to no end..(enter control freak here...) The thought of going somewhere else and losing my freedom to come and go as needed for the kids scares me alot. What if one of them becomes ill or there is a meeting at school I need to attend? What if one of them has a sporting event I want to go to? ARGH!

I also look back on some things and some people with regret. Many times lately I have looked back at the loss of my EMT license with quite a bit of sadness. I would LOVE to go back and get my EMT license again, possibly even go to EMT Advanced and get a job with an Ambulance locally.
Negatives:
Bottom of totem pole and cruddy shifts (BAD for family time)
Starting anew in something that I really do NOT have time for to begin with.
More loss of time with family and not sure of where I would go with it
MONEY to do the classes
So, when I see friends that are doing the classes I feel such anger at myself and a little bit of the wishing it was me doing it as well. I am not 100% sure that if I had the money I would be able to come up with the time. I am very overwhelmed some days with a job, house, kids and life in general to take time for a class 2-3 nights per week, but still I think about it often.

I don't know what the future holds, but I can only hope and pray that I can keep up! ;-)

Life Changing Choices and Addiction

2011-02-20T17:51:00.000-08:00

Well here I am a couple of months into the new year. Every year I vow to eat better, exercise more and make better choices for myself. Last year I was able to lose about 40lbs. This was BIG...I have also managed to gain back 12 of it before starting my new life choices the end of January.
I have been 'behaving myself' and trying to make better food choices and trying to mentally deal with addiction. I do not drink (maybe once in a blue moon I have a drink for fun), I do not smoke (idiotic with asthma), I do not gamble (do not think strategically and I suck at it..hehe) and I do not take drugs (not even an option), so I eat...plain and simple, eating is MY drug of choice. I have taken a good look around my family tree and addiction runs deep within it.
I eat when I am bored, stressed, hungry, tired, for the hell of it. I am trying to address the reasons I eat and look at each situation I crave food as an individual lesson for myself. I am trying to ask myself, WHY do you want to eat.... right now? Most of the time I will think about a type of food (carbs-corn tortilla's was a main staple in my diet) as well as chocolate, and I can imagine eating them until I am not happy unless I eat them. I manifest the craving into something of real hunger and need.
This has not been easy for me. Since January 29, 2011 until now, I have lost 10lbs. Now, I did NOT measure, although I wish I had, because I have lost many inches in the belly, arms and legs etc. I strive to lose so much more, while gaining more about myself than ever. To fight a mental craving may be worse than a physical need to eat. The first 2-3 days were the absolute worst. I did not time the beginning of the diet well, since it coincided with mother nature (I often don't know when this will happen due to early menopause) but it made me a nasty human to live with. I was yelling at the kids, Curt and everyone..generally being a nasty bit** to be around. Curt told me that he did NOT like my new diet and then once I eaplined WHY I was acting like I was he seemed to be more understanding. It is extremely hard to detox, live with hormone fluctuations and life changes and be kind to anyone including yourself. I have to say, I have done much better with it but I continue to try my hardest to make the right choices.
I will update here my progress. Wishing everyone out there the best in the new year!

When Two People Fell In Love

2011-02-14T17:36:00.000-08:00

Curt and I met when I was about 14.5 years old and he was 16. We had a friend in common, he went to school with her and ran track and cross country with her. One night while staying the night at her house, we decided to go to her school dance...our ride, was Curt and his friend Corey.
I have to say, that first night I was both in love and hated him at the same time. I thought he was cute, and enjoyed the attention and danced most of the night with him... However, he made a reference to my looks (calling me the 'ugly one') and I decided that he was no longer cute, but quite an ass ;-)
About 2 days later, he began calling my house to chat. I was excited, but brought up the ugly comment again, to which he apologized (this is a running joke in our marriage to this day...he said he only told me that because he was a naughty 16 year old boy who wanted to touch my chest and I would not let him...hehe) Being only 14.5 years old, I was not allowed to date. Curt began coming over to the house to spend time with me any way he could, usually helping me with my homework, watching movies etc....it sucked being that young and having a boyfriend you wanted to date, but I know now as an adult that it was for the best my parents stood their ground on the dating situation.
Curt and I 'went out' until we had our first date...a week before my 16th Birthday my high school held a Christmas Dance, we were able to attend ALONE for our first date!

We dated all thru high school, Curt graduating when I was a Sophomore, and moving out to join the working world. I finished high school two years later and moved in with him about a month after I graduated; we were married almost 1 year later at the ripe old ages of 19 and 20.

Here it is almost 24 years of being together and 20 years of marriage later (April 20th, 2011 to be exact) and we have been thru ups and downs together. We have been pregnant 4 times and lost 4 babies...we have watched friends marry, divorce and pass on. We have moved from rental to rental to rental and then on to our own home. We have adopted 4 of the most wonderful kids a family could ask for and been with each other thru all of it...thick and thin.

To all the skeptics who figure if you marry early, live with each other before marriage and the like, we say Thank You..for thinking we could not do it, nor would not make it...for you have given us the chance to stick out our tongues and say PPPbbbttt! ;-)

HAPPY VALENTINE'S CURTIS....I LOVE YOU!

Thoughts

2011-02-07T09:16:00.001-08:00

I have so much to go over and decided I would just bullet point it... ;-)

* Haiti has been on the mind of our family alot lately. I hope to get to take a trip with some other adoptive mothers in April or so...$$ hopefully available
* Kids have kept us busy. Have fun watching their games and performances, but will be happy to have less on our plate.
* Getting to visit with old friend tonight should be awesome. I know she is trying to sell me something I don't really want or need, but to reconnect will be great.
* Going between the idea of staying where I am at my job or looking for something with growth potential...either way, change sucks. Keeping options open.
* Hoping I can muster the fortitude to make a Womens Bible study every Tuesday night at our Church. Want to go, Basketball will be over (track starts) but hoping I make myself learn so I can grow.
* Feel guilty, have not been to church once yet this year...it is February
* Missing a friend. He dropped off the map and has not made contact for a while....praying he is ok and it was nothing said or done that made him leave.
* Leaving Friday afternoon for Hailey...Cheer Competition. Sharing room with M.L should be fun..bring the Margarita maker please!
* Need to upload videos of cheer and basketball here for others to see...need time and Curt's computer to do so.
* Working on new diet. To cold to exercise outside (I prefer walking the neighborhood to treadmill). Down 4lbs this week and feeling successful...cannot wait for walking to begin and hopefully the 'hangry' (hungry and angry) feeling to subside! ;-) I feel the skinnier version of me trying to escape (maybe I will quit shutting her up with chocolate!)
* Exercise I will do inside consists of dancing around like a crazy woman while cleaning. Did so before work today...makes my pale face(mostly my nose) shine bright red for several hours. :-(

Game Time Baby

2011-01-25T20:18:00.000-08:00

Lately we have been a flurry of activity. BooBoo has mad 2 basketball games and has shown an aggressive side that we were not sure he had. He is jumping up and stuffing the players on the opposing team so they cannot get a shot, getting fouled and making his free throws like a pro. Tonight he led his team to victory in Overtime. Official stats were- ‎5 points, 2 rebounds, 3 steals, and 2 assists (one of which was for the go ahead score).

Roo has competed in 2 cheer competitions, taking 1st in both. I have to say that their performance last Sat. 22nd, they were in TOP performance. Mistakes that troubled them in the past seemed to fade away and they made it look easy....all of us parents were proud, the girls were proud of themselves as well.

C-Man has had 1 basketball game and 1 Bye week....try to explain Bye week to a kid that LOVES to run and 'do' his chosen sport on Saturday's..haha I think he is finally getting the idea of the game, but at his age they still travel with the ball like they are on vacation. ;-)

Mitch had her first Cheer performance and LOVED IT! Not only did she do the dance, but she finishes the routine up in the front left side of the group in FULL SPLITS....she is so excited to be able to show off her splits for anyone and everyone who will let her.

Curt and I are enjoying going to the various activities, but it can be tiring at times...we try to remind ourselves that we can rest when they are grown and we are retired!

The Fun Begins

2011-01-14T14:00:00.001-08:00

Today starts our 1.5 months of Hell...hehe
Tonight we will venture to Mitch's cheer practice from 5-6:15pm. 6:30pm we begin Roo's cheer practice.
Saturday AM we have Mitch's first performance (will post pics of her in her cheer uniform later) as well as practice for Roo and C-Mans first Basketball game.
Later in the afternoon (3pm) Roo is having 3 friends accompany her to get their toes and nails done and hair coiffed and then sleepover and bow making to celebrate her 11th year of life, she is so excited!

Since I have been gone so long from here, I did not commemorate Roo's Bday very well....I will hopefully be able to put up new pics of ALL the kids soon (read: once I get them to work and can scan them) so everyone can see how they have grown.

Well, off to enjoy the weekend and HOPEFULLY get some rest as well!

Catching Up

2011-01-12T18:42:00.001-08:00

WOW, have I been gone a LONG TIME! ;-) TRYING to make a New Years Resolution to write here more often. I find it therapeutic to purge, and this may be a good spot to do it.

Been busy as usual. 4 kids seems to take it all out of me...of course, add in working full time and 4 kids activities and life in general and POOF-days do NOT have enough hours in them.

Kids are all growing. BooBoo is 13.5, Roo is 11, C-Man is 9 and Mitch is 6. The older two have passed me in height, not that this is an amazing feat, but thought I would mention it any way. hehe

Curtis brother Derek has had his 2nd and LAST!!! Liver transplant. He got he call the weekend of Curtis 40th birthday. We threw Curt on a plane and got him up there in time to see Derek get wheeled into O.R. He spent his 40th birthday on a funky couch in the hospital, taking turns with his sister, Heather, to make sure Derek had someone with him all the time. Not really your favorite way to spend a b-day, but he would not have given it up for the world.

Curtis is still working in the same place and enjoying it very much. He has become quite the salesman when it comes to fixing your commercial sprinkler ad fire alarm items..hehe
I am still working at ISE doing Front Office Diva. I am a Jack of all Trades, Master of none. Still get to work Fights every 6-8 weeks, NICE....blood, guts and fun stuff.

I have so much in my head, but fear blog-o-ria if I am not careful....will try to process more before I lay it all out here.

HAPPY FATHER'S DAY!

2010-06-20T21:59:00.001-07:00

HAPPY FATHER'S DAY to my AWESOME
Hubby!!!

Here he is with another awesome guy, Kyacey Uscola from Ulitmate Fighter. Kyacey is a sweetheart and I am glad that Curt got to meet him, since I talk about him and the TUF show all the time...hehe One of the 'perks' of working the fights, getting to know the Fighters on a personal basis...they are great guys!

The face off.....Curt thought he could take him...to lunch. haha

Mitch Graduation

2010-05-29T16:21:00.001-07:00

Well, as life has it's chapters, we closed the book on one of them this week. Mitch Graduated from Kindergarten! She struggled this year with being separated from mommy, structure in the classroom, sharing time with MANY other kids. She worked hard on language and to learn her letters, numbers, sounds and word recognition. There were times I doubted First grade would follow and that another year of Kindergarten would be required.....she proved me wrong.
With the help of her faithful Teachers, Ms. Wilkins (Regular Kdg), Mrs. Martinez (Extended Kdg) and Mrs. Mittleider (Reading Coach) she DID IT! Mitch went from a 1 on the IRI (Idaho Reading Indicator) to a 3...THAT ladies and gentleman is grade level words! We worked so hard with her at home, reading, quizzing her on sight words and sounding things out. C-Man and Roo would give her timed tests on letter sounds many times and encouraged her all the while...AMAZING!

Here are some pic's from the wonderful night!

Man, are they EVER gonna call me?

They Said My Name!

It's Official!

Thumbs Up to An Awesome Year

Mitch & Ms. Wilkins

The Hawk Has Landed

2010-05-29T16:06:00.000-07:00

C-Man has begged for a mohawk all year long. FINALLY he was able to have one. I have convinced Daddy that it would be ok, so we decided to let him give it a shot.
Daddy cut it himself, and let him have it the last 2 days of school as well as the summer. I must say, we think he is adorable in it!

Two May Birthdays!!

2010-05-16T13:28:00.001-07:00

May is the month of 2 Birthdays in our family!

May 3rd, BooBoo turned....13......EEEEKKKKKK

May 16th, Mitch turned 6...and lost her first tooth

Chillin together on the couch

BooBoo, too cool for just about anything!

Mitch LOVES to smile!

Happy Mother's Day To ALL the Mother's

2010-05-08T16:35:00.000-07:00

I say Happy Mother's Day to ALL of the mommies out there.

In our lives there are many moms...we have me, Mom's whose tummies we grew in (Often called Haiti moms) and the fact that I have a mom as well...the younger kids are all amazed that I didn't just appear on earth as a mother...strange concept I know.

Mothers Day is very mixed for me. Every mothers Day I not only pause to think about my own mother, but also about the mothers who allowed me to be a mom. Without hard decisions or their passing to the next life, I would NOT have been able to be the mother I am today. As we celebrate, I often cry (quietly and hidden) thinking about the ones in Haiti and that we should also honor them. So,

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY
THENAISE
MARIE LUCIE
LOURDES
GRUCETINE

Bingo....RIP

2010-04-20T21:03:00.000-07:00

This blog post is a little over due. I have not been able to post about it for some time now, due to every time I start, I cried.

January 2010 we had to say goodbye to Bingo. Bingo had been the most wonderful, loyal and loving dog a family could ever have.

Curt brought Bingo home one day after we had suffered a miscarriage. He knew I needed something to love, to be my baby...I needed someone or something to need me like I needed it. He had been working at the Local Animal Shelter inspecting the Fire Alarms. He always hated to do it because all the animals pulled at his heart strings. This day he was inspecting and came across the skinny ball of hair that had a tag on its cage. He knew what it mean-this little ball of hair was due to be euthanized the next day. He found out that she was a puppy of approx. 5 months and that she had been abandoned out at Lake Lowell and left to die. No one had claimed her and her time was up. He looked at that little fur ball and brought it home to me.

Now, at first I tell ya...I love animals, but I had always been more of a cat person. Considering we lived in a trailer park with a small 2 bedrooms, I did not see where this little furry thing was going to fit into my life. I pet her, she licked me and I was done for.

I worked at a school doing OT/Pt and began having the dog come visit me on Curt's days off. The kids fell in love with her and helped us name her B.I.N.G.O. after the song. It stuck.

Bingo was our first 'child', our first 'adoption' and she lived thru 4 kids, many cats and birds; camping trips and road trips to Wyoming, Montana, and Washington. She LOVED car rides, car washes and taking showers with us.

In the end, Bingo was our baby for 18 years. She gave loyally and loved us and the kids tremendously. Over time she became blind (at about 7 years of age) and then deafness took over. In the end, she had given all she could give. We thanked her by saying goodbye and burying her near the house she spent so many years in, where my granny and papa live now. A wooden cross marks her spot along with a deep love from 'her kids' and 'her mom and dad'.

Happy Anniversary

2010-04-20T21:00:00.000-07:00

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY, to the man I married 19 years ago today. We have been thru ups and downs, and have managed to beat the odds of a couple who met when they were 14.5 years and 16 years old. Love you Forver babe!

Thou Art With Me

2010-03-22T09:52:00.000-07:00

Have you ever had a moment or two in your life when you were just SURE that there was a God? I have always KNOWN there is a God, but the other day, he placed his hand on me and let me know that he was in the passenger seat with me as I drove.

I was driving home from work on the freeway. Fairly easy drive, not a lot of traffic, moving at regular 65 mph pace. I came up behind a truck pulling an enclosed trailer with construction items in and on it. I was following him and no one was around us, he was going the proper speed limit, my exit was coming up very soon and things were smooth.
I got the overwhelming urge to pass him. There was no reason to pass him...no REAL reason at all. I turned on my blinker and looked in my mirror....as I merged into the other lane, one of his ladders on the top of the trailer shot off the back and right into where I had been 2 seconds ago. The ladder whipped straight out (where the driver side would have been) and then shot sideways out behind me as I continued to slow down and pull over. He saw what happened and slowed to pull over as well. He asked if I was ok, which BY THE GRACE OF GOD, ONLY, I was.

I cannot express the amount of praying and thanking I did right then, and the rest of the night. I could have ended up a crazy accident statistic with a ladder in my face and chest...... THANK YOU MY LORD AND SAVIOR!!!

Amazing Accident....

2010-03-22T09:49:00.001-07:00

I saw this accident happen right in front of me on the way home from work last week. The Good Lord put me, once again, in the right place at the right time. I was able to climb into the back seat and secure the womans airway as well as hold C-spine until the paramedics got there to cut her out.

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So Much Going On

2010-03-08T19:19:00.000-08:00

We have had so much going on in the last month and a half and I am finally trying to sit and blog about it. 1. It is NOT ALL my fault that I have not written anything for a while....computer at home has been down-the video card was bad. Curt's computer really stinks at surfing the web so the only computer time I got for the last month and half was at work (not all that conducive to blogging if the boss is there..hehe)

We have finished up basketball times 2 boys. Have some pics I need to post of them here for all to see. We have not received BooBoo's official team pic yet, but we did for C-Man. He looks like a little MAN in them, NOT an 8 year old boy. Made me tear up some....curt looked and he did the same, where has the time gone?

Roo is in full fledged Cheer season, with performances or practice every Saturday. This month (March) we have several performances and a Spring Fling to perform in. Should be exciting and fun for all the girls.

I have pictures I need to post with certain blogs, so I will get to these in the next few days. So much to update and so much to say and show, that it may look a lot like blog-o-rea! ;-)

Amos Story - Music Video - Aaron Ivey

2010-01-24T15:10:00.001-08:00

LOVE this song. Aaron wrote this song to show the waiting Adoptive parents go thru for their kids. Thank the good Lord, Amos and Story are home, as so many other Haitian children have been blessed with being united...we are NOT done yet, soon ALL the orphans spoken for will be home.

Progress

2010-01-24T14:41:00.000-08:00

I have been pleased to see that progress is being made for the kids in Haiti and their adoptive families in the U.S. and Canada. I still have 1 family that I am working with that needs their teen daughter Daina home....they are so much further in the process than many out there that have been traveling and I think the frustration is getting to them. I can't say that i blame them...you wait and wait and still no word on if YOUR child gets to come home.
I do believe the logic is that the babies and toddlers are more at risk than the teens are...the younger they are, the more at risk for death due to disease, malnutrition and dehydration. Adopting an older teen, this child has shown they can survive Haiti (although scarred) they will not be the first to go in death or to their new life.
I pray for the family, who have tried to remain faithful in their wait, but also respect their frustration growth as nothing is happening for them...PRAYING J & M for you!

The scenes still coming out of Haiti are so mixed for me...Aaron Ivey said it correctly when he wrote his album 'Between the Beauty and Chaos'http://aaronivey.com/ . I think he hit the nail on the head. Aaron and Jamie also received word that Amos was on a plane and now have him home...WOOT!

I see how media is leaving, Haiti will go back to anonymity for them, but for many of us it will still be real. The Doc's who are helping who take 5 minutes to cry over what they have seen, the Haitian people in the streets who sing Hymnals praising a God that many think have forgotten them, yet they believe. Yesterday, 11 days after the quake, a 23 yo man was found ALIVE and barely scratched from the quake. He was buried in rubble and sipped a soda to keep himself going....a soda and prayer...what an odd combo that maybe only Ange would understand..hehe

I will post items here to the blog to preserve them for my kids and to share the triumphs and memories.

I Learned A Lot This Week

2010-01-19T21:24:00.001-08:00

I feel like such a louse. I Pray non stop for Haiti and the people, for Humanitarian Parole, for adopted kids to pour into airplanes and go to their Forever Homes and still my heart hurts. I go to FB and post, spreading the word, CNN and MSN and the TV News and look at pictures of horror that every face reminds me of my own children, and then I read it...one of the teens IN the quake, Living thru this hell on earth, prays that the Non Christians around her and the neighbors of the Pension come to know that God Loves Them...thanks him for everything good and bad....then I cry, because I am a safe and here and I begged for something like this never to have happened, and they see it as something to bring their neighbors to God. I have learned alot this week.

Quake Hits Haiti-Catastrophic Consequences

2010-01-13T18:51:00.000-08:00

I have so much that I need to update and write. So many Happy and good things to report...they seem so trivial today and in life in general.

MANY, MANY Haitians have lost their lives over the last 2 days. 1-12-10 @ 4:50pm Haitian time, a 7.0 earthquake hit Haiti...the epi-center hitting Carrefour (Kaw-Foo) near the Capital of PAP. I have been thru Carrefour, it is where the new New Life link Orphanage is located. It took until midnight to receive word that Dr. Bernard, Claudette, Guest House staff, Creche Staff, children and HFC staff and children were all alive and well. Buildings have been badly damaged, but are not down.

Word from Dr. Bernard was this:
DEAR CHRISTIAN FRIENDS, THANKS 1000 TIMES TO EACH AND ALL OF YOU MY DEAREST FRIENDS WHO SEND US EMAILS ABOUT THIS DISASTER. THANKS 1,000,000 TIMES FOR YOUR CONTINUED PRAYERS. WHAT WOULD WE HAVE DONE WITHOUT YOUR FRIENSHIP, PRAYERS, AND FANANCIAL SUPPORT.PRAISES, GLORIES, AND POWERS BE TO OUR ALLMIGHTY SAVIOR AND LORD JESUS FOR SAVING MY LIFE FROM THIS BIG EARTHQUAKE WHICH MIGHT KILL THIS AFTERNOON THOUSANDS OF PEOPLE. IT WAS ABOUT 4:50P.M, I STEPPED UP INTO THE MAYOR'S OFFICE ON MY WAY BACK HOME FROM WORK. AS I JUST ARRIVED ON THE 2ND FLOOR, THE BUILDING COLLAPSED ON EVERYBODY WITHIN SECONDS . THE ROOF CAME DOWN OVER OUR HEADS. I WILL NEVER BE ABLE TO DESCRIBE THIS MIRACLE.I WAS ONE STEP TO DEATH, BUT PEACEFUL, TRUSTING THAT MY LIFE WAS IN GOD'S HAND. MY MIGHTY GOD GOT ME OUT SAFELY. AS I JUMPED FROM THE 2ND FLOOR INTO ALL THE DEBRIS, I GOT HURT ON MY LEFT SIDE.HOWEVER, I AM SAFE AND SOUND...IT IS A LONG LONG STORY.WHAT A MIRACLE! WHAT A GOD THAT WE ARE SERVING! HE SURELY IS NOT DONE YET WITH ME.WHEN I GOT HOME, CLAUDETTE AND THE OTHERS WERE FINE, BUT THE GUEST HOUSE SHOOK UP SO BAD THAT THE WATER COOLER, BOOK SHELVES FULLO OF BOOKS, AND CABINETS FELL ON THE FLOORS.AS I AM WRITING THIS EMAIL, THE HOUSEIS STILL SHAKING UP. WE WILL SLEEP OUT SIDE, UNDER THE FRONT PORCH.ALL THE CHILDREN AT THE ORPHANAGE ARE FINE. BECAUSE TELEPHONES ARE OUT OF SERVICE, IT WAS ALREADY NIGHT AND THOUSANDS OF PEOPLE IN PORT-AU-PRINCE WERE IN THE STREET, MOURNING THEIR TRAPPED AND DEAD FAMILY MEMBERS, THERE WAS NO WAY I COULD GET TO THE NLL BUILDING OR HAVE ANY NEWS. EARLY TO MORROW MORNING, I WILL GO THERE. OH ! HOW I PRAY THAT ALL THE CHILDREN AND STAFF ARE SAFE.THE SITUATION IS AWFULLY AWFUL, TERRIBLY TERRIBLE. PLEASE, PRAY FOR THE GREAT NUMBERS OF FAMILIES WHO HAVE THEIR LOVED ONES STILL UNDER THE RUBBLES WITHOUT MUCH HOPE TO SURVIVE. PRAY FOR HAITI, AND THE CHURCH OF CHRIST.I WILL KEEP ALL POSTED.WE ARE SO GRATEFUL TO GOD TO HAVE YOU ALL IN OUR LIVES.Blessings,Jacob

Bon Fet Dr. B

2010-01-01T18:14:00.000-08:00

A WONDERFUL BON FET TO DR. BERNARD!
We miss Dr. B and hope to tak the kids back to see him some day soon. Dec. 31st was his 29th (hehe) birthday! We tried calling but could not get thru....LOVE YOU DR. B!

What's Up Pussy Cat

2009-12-11T20:18:00.001-08:00

We have had many ups and downs the last month. A great guy from our church was hit by a VERY drunk driver, while he was on his way home from work. He was on a bicycle so he took the hit pretty hard. When he was hit, he fell and went head first into a fire hydrant. OOHHH...the pictures are enough to make you gasp. I am happy to say that he is recovering well at home now with his jaw wired shut for a broken jaw, arm in cast from broken wrist, and leg wrapped due to torn ligaments. God is good, no more surgery is needed and he is recovering faster than expected-good thing, I believe his skate board and new bike are missing him.

Mitch went to the Pediatric Gastroenterologist. She has had so many problems with her belly and her main Doc and I were out of ideas. We have her on a great med that is hopefully going to clean out the back log of...well..and then she will be on a maintenance dose for 6-9 months. Good thing for Curt and I, is that we now know it is not behavioral, but more of a defense system from things in her past. This has allowed us to remove the blame from ourselves, treat her accordingly and help her heal the correct way...AMEN!!!

We are enjoying life and getting Christmas shopping done slowly but surely. We are glad that most of our family has decided not to do Christmas gift drawings, since that really isn't the meaning of Christmas anyway, and we will all just get together and visit and eat-WONDERFUL, less expensive plan! ;-p

AS this time of year comes up, I often think of things I want to accomplish for the next year.
Lets see if I can name a few and possibly add to my Yearly Bucket List: (in NO order)
1. Lose weight and KEEP IT OFF
2. Pay off some bills
3. Get a new tattoo
4. Go on a REAL vacation as a family
5. Pray more
6. Attend Church more regularly (gotta get the I can'ts out of Sunday's)
7. Organize my home and life to run smoother-see pray more..hehe

Sure there is more, but tired and can't think of them right now.
Off to read and hit the hay for the weekend kid activities!

We will NOT be the Scrooges

2009-11-29T18:06:00.000-08:00

Well, since Thanksgiving is done, we were anxious to get some lights up for Christmas. We have not decorated inside yet, but lights out side were important to get going so we blended in with the rest of the anxious neighbors and we didn't look like scrooges...hehe
Each kid took a turn taking lights up to Daddy on the roof...Mitch is to small, so she got to stand on the ladder for a photo-as not to be left out.

Halloween 2009

2009-11-29T18:01:00.000-08:00

Kids dressed up this year and went around the neighborhood with Cousins Caitlyn and Sara Beth, Mommy, Cousin Emily and Great Aunt Linda-All had a blast!

BooBoo as 'I am NOT going to smile for this picture'

Roo as Hip Hop Girl

C-Man as Batman

Mitch as a Good Witch without her hat

Juggling

2009-10-20T08:19:00.000-07:00

I have never been good at juggling. I am on this down spiral of trying to juggle home, work, kids, personal life etc. I feel like there is no time for anything and that I am just running around chasing my own tail, never catching it.
I am so thankful for the job, it has helped catch up on bills and keep us afloat during the recession and provided less stress money wise in many aspects. It does however put a damper on personal time and time for kids. I find that I blame myself for a lot of things that probably are not all my fault, but I am the mom, which I believe alot of times is synonymous with the word Martyr. :-)

I have a kid whose grades are sliding, a choice that I believe that the child is making because they are becoming older...how do I NOT blame myself for the choices my child makes? Doesn't it reflect on me as a parent? It is hard to let go and let the child take the reins and responsibility of their own choices they are making, VERY HARD!

I need to reflect on what my ideals are and what is important. I have always been OCD with my house....it MUST look presentable (read spotless), at least downstairs where people may come by and see it. I fear that if they come and it is cluttered I will be deemed a crappy housekeeper, mother and person...not true more than likely, but my thoughts none the less.
I need to remember to stop and smell the roses with my kids, something that I have had alot of difficulty with since I began working outside the home. It has been a year and today I told Curt that I felt that our kids were suffering some for my need to work, but there was nothing to do about it since I need to work so we can keep our home and keep up on bills.
I blame myself for one child's difficulty learning in school. Even though this child has been in Haiti until the age of 3 and had little to no stimulation until they were home...a little bit of a late bloomer and a desire to be the baby forever is also happening I believe. It is hard, this juggling game I play. Some days I wish that I could just close the door and curtains, turn off the phone and just call into every ones work and school "NO, we are having a family day today!"

Prayers for me as I struggle with this, I know I am not the only one doing 500 things at once. I am thankful beyond belief for the ability to have a job when others do not have one to be frustrated with....I need to remember to be THANKFUL and Embrace the Grace more often.

A poem that hangs above my desk that I have looked at alot lately:

The 'things of Earth, the 'stuff' that gets to you
Will grow strangely dim in the light of His Glory and Grace

Learn to accept God's Grace
That is what His son died for.

3 Simple words: EMBRACE THE GRACE

H1N1 or Not?

2009-10-18T21:04:00.000-07:00

Over the last couple of weeks all of us (minus healthy Curtis) have had one form of the flu or another. It started with Hunter and his cough, fever of 103* and sleeping all the time. Moved to Demi and her cough, low fever of 100* and sleeping and then a rash on her face. Nikaya chimed in with cough, sore throat and fever of 101* and sleeping and finished up the kid cycle with Kai and coughing, sore throat, fever of only 99-100*. Cough is hanging on with Kai, Demi only if she giggles to hard, but all in all we are recovering. I decided to take my turn last weekend (soooo glad it chose a weekend for me so I could waste my time on the couch..hehe). I 'meditated' on the couch (what the kids call it if I fall asleep watching T.V.) and had a low grade fever of 100*. My head and body hurt so bad I was in tears, whining or just being a big baby most of the time. Curtis has remained healthy as usual....stinker!

We are glad we are recovering and were able to attend Church today. I went to fights on Friday (didn't work these, just watched for once) and Cheer, grocery day, lawn mowing day for Sat. and Church and B-day party at the neighbors for today. Busy weekend, but I managed to meditate a little today while the kids were gone..hehe
Friday fights are coming up on Oct. 23rd and I will be Medic for those. Anxious to see the guys and who is fighting who this time...praying for nothing serious injury wise and the ability to care for them as necessary.

Had a great moment at church today when I was able to explain why we take Communion and true salvation to Hunter. To see in his eyes a little of what it truly means was wonderful. I think it is an analogy I will use with a couple of my friends to see if it makes more sense to them.
Imagine, you committed a horrible crime (robbery, murder) and the cops came for you but your friend said THEY did it instead. The cops take your friend and decide that the best punishment for the crime is torture and death- your friend takes that punishment for you even though you did not deserve it, YOU were the criminal, not your friend.

I loved seeing the lights totally come on for him and will try to begin the explanation for our other children. We have always taught them about God, Church and Faith, but to see true understanding of THE SACRIFICE that was made was wonderful to me. Whenever we have Communion I am often over come with tears as I imagine the hugeness of what was done for me. I begin to feel overwhelmed at the feeling and have to think happy thoughts as not to fall into tears and lay in the aisle bawling that I am yucky and glad he died for me anyway...not really a good scene I think...hehe

I hope this finds everyone well, recovering and just enjoying life, until next time-Embrace the Grace!

Chugging Along

2009-09-28T16:01:00.000-07:00

Well, I have been at the weight loss/Walking game again for 1.5 weeks...weight has stayed fairly much the same, but I am working up tot he 3 miles a day I was doing before my hiatus. I am hoping to get a few lb's off here soon and get back to 1-derland instead of 2-much weight that I am at now...hehe

Kids are doing well in school. Mitch is loving school and enjoying the bus ride. Bad thing is that public school can sometimes expose the kids to things you wish they didn't have exposure to, but the flip side is that they learn that not everyone is nice in the world.
Mitch came home the other day and told me something on the way home. It was so hard not to be angry and giggle all at once.

Imagine if you will, my little Mitch sitting in the backseat. Whenever Mitch talks it is cute, she has this under bite that is hereditary and when she says certain things it just looks cute/funny.

Mitch is the 'Polite police'...this is what we call her at home, since she is often the one who tells everyone if they are saying or doing something that is neither nice nor appropriate...yes, she says appropriate...
Anyway, she tells me that two boys were fighting and she told them that it was not nice to fight and that they should be friends. One boy looked at her and said "mind your own business you stinky butthole" At this point I was glancing in the child mirror I have and could see her face....I had to watch myself so I would not giggle (her jaw jutted out and the look of absolute disgust as some little kid called HER a stinky butthole) as I told her that indeed, that was mean and inappropriate and she should have told a teacher. She said she did and the kid had to go to the Principal's office.
Now, I am NOT mother of the year, but I was not pleased someone called my sweet Mitch a stinky butthole, but, I just have not heard this b-word for so long, was flabbergasted that a Kindergartner said it and the look on her face, I had to giggle and be angry at once...I just hope she didn't see or hear me and will not need therapy for it later on.

Issues

2009-09-12T18:09:00.000-07:00

There have been many issues involved with the Orphanage I have worked with in Haiti. Accusations of abuse, both sexual and physical. While I do not know the whole story, I have heard MUCH of it from both sides. I have learned that one of my children had been physically abused by their caretaker, and still shows the mental scars today.
I do not pretend that Haiti is perfect, the Orphanage I work with has been perfect, or the man whom I help is perfect. What I do know is that in Haiti many say 'T.I.H." This is Haiti...

This last week there was a HUGE blow-up on a yahoo group that is full of families that have adopted, are adopting, or otherwise support this orphanage. I myself, became involved with the angry banter, not that I am proud of it, but I had said some not so nice things. We have had one or two on the group that even though they are well versed in the Bible, tend to live their life higher than others and point it out in full force while quoting the Bible as the backup to their nastiness.
Now, I am usually not one to judge peoples relationships with Christ. I, myself, stumble every day and know that I am not in the right place with God as I wish I was. I see to many things in life that out weigh my ability to serve him in full.
I also want to note that while adopting our 2 youngest, I had to take a Psychological Evaluation test that pulls out your characteristics of your personality......I scored CLINICAL on Social Justice. What that means is that if I feel like someone is being treated unfairly, I tend to respond 100% to the extreme to redeem that person or thing and will not rest until I feel like I have been heard.
Now, I am not trying to use this as an excuse, but when I hear people say something that they state is 100% truth about someone, not knowing that persons 100% truth, motives etc. about the situation, I will go off like a grenade. (I have to say it is nice to know there is some technical/psychological thing for this since my family always thought I just liked to start fights..hehe)
Anyway, I responded to someone angrier than I should have and feel bad that the others involved may have missed the point I was making. I hope that people begin to realize that we are dealing with sensitive issues such as children's lives and the reputation of a man who has given his life to these orphans.
I hope all that are involved are healed, find themselves right with God and do not tarnish one mans life to so-called heal another.

Addiction

2009-09-08T20:36:00.001-07:00

Lately I have followed as some of my family members have battled with addiction. Addiction is a disease that you must fight by choice. I have members on 2 different sides of my family that suffer. Once side suffers more than the other since I can pin point that every member of this side has an addiction to one thing or another, whether it be food, booze or pills/drugs. It is hard to put in writing the way it makes me feel. I, myself suffer from addiction and have to fight it every day.

My bio father was Bi-Polar as well as an Addict. He suffered from this every day of his life. Sometimes I handled it OK, other days I wanted to pretend that he didn't exist and I didn't have to deal with it. Most of my life I was the parent in the relationship and he was the child. He passed away 1 year ago in March at the age of 53...we buried him two days before his 54th B-day. He passed from a massive heart attack. More than likely it was due to the years of abuse he put his body thru. I watched him fight with himself and often think of him when I fight my daily fight against whatever is getting to me. I miss him terribly and fell angry that my children were robbed of a grandpa that loved them very much. Even with his bad back he would get on the floor to give pony rides or bend over to pick them up. They always understood Grandpa was sick, grandpa was in the hospital etc...but they never understood why. The day I told me oldest two was a hard day for me, to tell them honestly about what ailed grandpa Rick and the hope that it never happened to me or anyone else they knew.

I spoke to my Cousin T this weekend. He has spent some time incarcerated as well as in rehab. He continues to make bad choices even though the right ones are staring him in the face. I want so much to help him and don't know how. It really is a decision that he has to make for himself. He and I discussed his 'Disease' called addiction and how he cannot control it. I reminded him that I have an Addictive past as well and every day is a fight for me to make the right choices. His girlfriend and baby have left him due to his drinking and addiction to sex and he is lost, no belief in any higher power or way to get himself out. I fear that one day we will get a call that he is gone and wonder what we could have done to help him. I know that some in my family would think it was good riddance to bad rubbish; but he is a human , a relative, a loved one...how can we turn our back on him. Maybe I think that way because I fear that one day I could be the one they turn their back on because I have made the wrong choices as well.

I now have another cousin K that is fighting a pill addiction. When I hear how far down the spiral she has gone it saddens me. I want to heal her as well, but once again know that only she can make the decision to heal and want to be healed. Her mother and father have no way to help her as she suffers from this pill addiction. It has cost her her job and is costing her her family. She sleeps all the time, neglects her family and is lost as well. She has said she would go to out patient treatment but she has not. Once again, I fear that we will get a call that she has OD'ed....a very real fear since she has accidentally done it once already.... my fear is that the next time she cannot be saved.

Me, my addiction is food. I hide myself in it, find pleasure in it and know that sometimes I eat when there is no physical hunger, just emotional hunger. I am not sure I am hiding from any 1 thing, maybe many things. I have always been friendly and tend to make friends easily. I am the fun one of the group, telling jokes and making the crowd have a good time...is that me, or is that me hiding..I do not know. When I have had surgery in the past I always get my prescriptions and give them to my hubby. Not that I know I will take them to much, but that I FEAR that I might. He doles them out and is my enabler in a different sense....enabling me to be safe. He and I have spoken many times my fears of being Bi-Polar, Addiction etc. One of the reasons I am glad we adopted-deepen the gene pool a little in that area..hehe

It is a standing order in the area of addiction that should I ever become addicted to pills, drugs, booze etc, to the point that I am incapable of making the correct decisions that he will instantly find me help no matter how much I beg, promise or plead. Until then, I fight the every day fight of weight and food and hope that I find the balance I desperately need.

Ceus Boys

2009-09-07T20:25:00.000-07:00

This summer we had the privilege to meet C-Mans bio brother J. J is 11, C-Man is 8. These two boys knew who each other was instantly. The similarity between them was amazing. To take 2 kids who have never spent time together and put them in the same room you would have thought they had been best buds forever. Toes with the same creases, same facial expressions and dimples, same head shape (Jimmy Neutron...hehe) giggles that were alike and the same orneriness and charm that ooze from them.
J lives in Oregon, about 7 or so hours from us. His family is wonderful. It was great getting to meet them and see who this little guy was...amazing time.

Ceus Boys

Jumping on the Trampoline

My Crazy Clan plus Juneau and his Brother Jackson. ( I am NOT trying to marry Jackson off before his time, he is a tender 17 almost 18, but ladies...he is going to be an awesome God loving, kind man soon!) hehe

Our Daddy

2009-09-07T14:53:00.000-07:00

Daddy with one of his Princesses

Christmas Pepsi Mug

Die Hard BBQ Fan....even in the rain!

I wanted to take a few minutes to write a few lines about our daddy. Our daddy is the greatest daddy of all. Sept. 5th marked our daddies 39th b-day...he is quickly approaching the 40 year mark, but we will not mention it out loud in case it makes it come sooner!

WE LOVE YOU DADDY!!!!!!!

Haiti Post

2009-08-31T20:14:00.001-07:00

Whenever I travel to Haiti I am usually overcome with emotion. I know that this is my children's country, their home, and home to the beautiful people I hope they grow to love and raise up as their own. I want my children to have a sense of Pride about where they come from, to say HAITIAN and KNOW what it means. Every time I go to Haiti, I take a little bit of it with me back here and leave a little bit of myself there.

When I go to Haiti I often go with the American mindset-life here is hard, the economy is hard, I am crabby at the person in front of me in line blah, blah, blah. When I leave Haiti I begin to see how petty and little MY problems really are and how everything around me is rich in American wealth, even the poor people here are wealthy by Haitian standards.

I saw a 15 year old mother begging for money, selling herself to anyone who came by, to feed herself and her starving child. She and her child had a hunger like I have never felt. We spoke to this mother about what the Lord can do for her and how if she came to the creche she could set her child up for adoption, or at least get her a few good meals, medical tests and schooling for herself, no strings attached. We, and I mean me and the Orphan teens and Claudette, gave her money and the address to the Creche and spoke to her about what the Creche was and how it could help her and her child...begged her to make the decision to at least come and check it out.
You see, at first I passed her off like every other beggar type person who comes to the window anytime you stop. But when the teens and Claudette took note of her, we heard her cry and beg us to help her baby, it made me take notice. For Orphan teens to dig into THEIR wallets to give to her made my world get smaller as I listened to her explain what she had been doing to feed her young baby.
The mother was thin, hair was somewhat orangish, but she was beautiful under all the sadness and hunger. Her daughter was sweet as well, but very skinny, little chicken legs poking out from the long shirt she wore. Her head was mostly bald except for a few patches of orange tufts poking out....Kwashiokors is not far off for her, this little girl was starving to death. She lay listless across her mothers shoulder and stared at us like we were not there. I wanted so desperately to take a picture of them, to show them to you and to remember her forever, but I would not ask...fear that I would come off as an American tourist clicking my camera at her sadness. Instead I hold her face, and the face of her daughter in my soul.
I hope and Pray that she comes to the Creche, that she begs for the Lord to help her and that he will hear her, and she will hear him.

She, and all of Haiti remind me of the quote on my blog by Bono~Where is God~ He is indeed in the slums.

Haiti Picture Post

2009-08-31T19:55:00.000-07:00

Road to the NLL orphanage in Carrefour

Children danced for me to the Chocolate Song

View from the Orphanage balcony

Rooftop playground for the kids

Street market in Carrefour

View from the balcony-you can see the ocean in the distance

A woman walking to market

Group one of NLL kids~yes, I bribed them with piwhili's (suckers)

Group 2 NLL

Group 3 NLL kids

I am Back..I Think...

2009-08-24T11:45:00.001-07:00

It has been an eternity since I have been on here. Between summer stuff with kids, work and fights I have little time or desire to do anything but TRY to sleep.

Had a few things this usmmer that have bene frustrating for me that has added to the stress of this thing I call my life.

I have a cousin, whom I love very much, come out as pretty much an addict. Well, she didn't COME OUT per se, she Overdosed....She spent a little time in the hospital but was not able to be committed for any type of rehab because she is an adult, an adult addict, but an adult. I fear for her as I know that my family on that side has a history of addiction, wether we want to face it or not.
EVERY member of the family has an addiction to one thing or another-food, cigarettes, alcohol or prescription drugs. I can say that here because I know that I am part of that....I have a food addiction that I work with every day. Knowing I have an addictive history and make up reminds me (read FEAR) that if I smoked, drank or tried drugs even once, that I would be an addict and lose everything. Knowing that, I do not typically drink (very rare occasion where a margarita is nice..) and only take prescription drugs given to me by my one and only Doctor. I hope and pray for my cousin as she fights her addiction to prescription drugs and hope that she can be convinced to seek the help she needs in time....I see my biological Dad, Rick, happening all over again unfortunately.

Also, as of today (Aug 24th) I am off to Haiti for a whirl wind trip to escort a sweetie home to her Forever Family. I am taking the camera and extra batteries so I am hoping to get some good pictures.....I will post when I get back here.

I hope to be back here more that school is now in session ( yes, ALL the kids are in school!) Hunter is now in 7th (Jr. High...yikes) Demi is in 4th, Kai 2nd and Nikaya hit the big Kindergarten...got a pic of her first day on the school bus and the first day of school I will post here soon!

KAI CEUS

2009-07-06T20:54:00.000-07:00

Kai Ceus in Creche, aged 2 (courtesy Brownell's...THANK YOU!!!)

Kai, at Christmas this last year...with his mouth open as usual! ;-)

July 6, 2001 in a little area of Mirebalias, Haiti, Gladimy Ceus was born. He lived with his sweet Birth Mother, Lourdes (pronounced Lood) until she found herself unable to care for him at the tender age of 2. Lourdes took Kai to live at NLL with Dr. Bernard and his staff so he could be educated and possibly adopted by a family who could give him what she could not...a future.

Fast forward 6 months or so to my first visit to Haiti with Ange and Abby. One day on a trip to the Creche, I played with all of the little kids, not wanting to know names, ages, status of getting a family etc...I just wanted to love them all and play with them. I played with one little boy who hid around the corner from me during meal time and followed me pulling at my skirt. Every time I turned to look at him he would grin big...I mean BIG! I started to play peek-a-boo around the corner from him, looking around at him and then hiding. He sat me down in front of him and covered his eyes like peek-a-boo is played. Then when it came to the boo part, he slapped my cheeks something fierce. I was startled, but he giggled and giggled. One of the nannies showed me they kind of played like that, he was just a little rough due to his age of 2-ish.

When I got home from that trip my insides were jello. Haiti does something to you that is unexplainable unless you have been there. Part of you is glad to run away safely back home, the other half is sad to leave the place that you feel so close to God in.

When I got home I put his photo on the fridge and told Curt about the little boy I had fallen in love with...that we needed to pray that he got a home if he didn't have one, or that he was referred to a family soon and had a speedy adoption process.

About 1 year goes by. Curtis and I decide to adopt again. I tell him I wanted to check on the little boy I had met at the Creche and see if he was still available for adoption, age etc. He needed to be younger than Demi, since we wanted to keep ages in order due to how they came home-weird adoption logic to some, but it really does have its merits.

I scanned the photo I had of the little boy and asked. Within a couple of hours I received an email from NLL saying that the little boy was indeed available, a little over 3 years of age...PERFECT! Soon we began gathering paperwork for his adoption along with the adoption of an unknown little girl-figured we would get it done in one swoop..hehe

Our process for Kai was long...definitely not as long as it is now, but long for that time. During the process I went to Haiti to visit Kai and meet our new daughter, Nikaya (Mitchelle).

When I arrived, Kai was glad to see me, Nikaya wanted NOTHING to do with me. :-P She did come around, after several hours and animal cookies later.

The week I spent was glorious. I got to know the kids, their personalities and let them know that we were indeed real and that we loved them very much.

The day I had to leave them back at the Creche, broke my heart more than words can explain here. At the time I did not understand why I had to feel the way I did while leaving them again, but it gave me a perspective of the Birth Parents and what they must feel leaving the children as well. I knew that I would see the children again in a few months, but they do not know if they will ever see them again....WOW

After 18 months of waiting (10 months after my visit) Kai and Nikaya came home.

We are thankful every day for them, along with Hunter and Demi...they are truly blessings that we would not have had if things had turned out any other way but God's way.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY KAI!

Alive and Kicking

2009-06-27T19:13:00.000-07:00

We are alive and well and doing OK for the most part. Emily and the girls are doing OK and settling at her parent's house. My kids are excite that her oldest, C, will be going to school at their school...possibly in the same class! ;-)

Curt's dad, Ron, had to go to the hospital for chest pains and fluttering in his heart. He was in there for 2-3 days and had to have a cauterization procedure done to stop the heart from fluttering (hopefully for good). Derek got the call for a new liver, but the surgery was called off when the liver was found to have a disease they decided it best that Derek didn't have...so he waits.

Kids are enjoying the summer with Kate, she took them to the Zoo this week and they took pictures galore and had a blast. As it heats up they plan to go to the lake for water play, but until then they have ice fights on the trampoline!

I try to keep up with things around here as I work and struggle with my foot. The pain is really bad some days and I get frustrated I cannot just have the surgery right now. I am currently trying to get Curt's insurance to cover it since it is excluded from their plan...something that THEY as a COMPANY have decided I should live and suffer with, but an old man can get Viagra...not to fair if ya ask me! I will continue to fight until I can get it done and hope and pray that Advil gives me the relief I need.

I am still waiting for the trip to Haiti to bring little Carina home. It has been FOREVER and they are still waiting. Last we heard, they were having documents translated in order to go to the consulate. Once that is done we should be able to have Birth parent interview and then Visa interview and then travel. The frustration is that we are so close to the end, but we have been pretty much in this same place since April or May. The new mom and dad are also welcoming a new baby in tot he family as well, stress all around for them if ya ask me..hehe

SO, we work, play and hope to be doing good around here. I have a friend coming to our neck of the woods this summer (Ange and her Chaos) so we are hoping to see them. We also have a day in July to meet Kai's bio brother Juno...his family will be traveling thru and we are excited to meet and have the boys see each other for the first time. We will share photos of their Birth mom, as well as Birth sister I met when I traveled last time. Should be wonderful!

Quick Prayer Request

2009-06-11T18:22:00.000-07:00

For my cousin Emily and her girls Catilyn (8) and Sara Beth (17 months).

Saturday my cousin's hubby commit suicide and Emily was the one who found him.

My heart hurts for her as she is to being a new life of single mom of two, to grieve and relive the nightmare of seeing her life partner the way he was left for her to find. Such a tragedy.

I know she will go thru the stages of grief, I hope that I will be able to be there for her and to provide her with the support she needs. I hope that her girls feel the love of their father and always know that what he did had NOTHING to with THEM, and EVERYTHING to do with HIMSELF.

Alive and Well

2009-06-11T17:51:00.000-07:00

We are alive and well here, busy...but alive and well.

A couple of weeks ago I get sick...the kind of sick that you don't wish upon your worst enemy. I ended up going to my Doc who said I was dehydrated and could not leave until he had given me IV fluids and meds to stop me from loosing it from both ends (TMI I know..hehe)
After all day in the Doc's office, IV bag and several blood draws and med's, it was determined that I had a stomach flu, but NOT Swine Flu...YEAH!
I have recovered and am doing well.

Kids are out of school and summer is in full swing. We have a great gal named Katye (Kate as she likes to be called) that spends the day with the kids. Kai loves her but tests her, Nikaya loves her and Demi does as well. She is going to try some recipes out with Demi this summer as well as park visits, swimming etc. She is patient with the kids and handles them well. They love taking walks around the subdivision and riding bikes to a little park at one of the neighborhoods behind us.
Kids were surprised by her one day...Kate is hearing impaired. She wears hearing aides in both ears but does very well. Kai, thinking that she could not hear him and he could get away with things learned quickly that all is not as it seems..hehe

Work is going well for both of us. My hours are staying around 6-6.5 hours a day and then home for more 'work' to keep the house up. Curt has to work a little longer hours since his office moved further into downtown, adding about 15 minutes on to his commute-it is now about 40 min. Cannot complain since both of us have jobs, so we will deal with it! ;-)

Derek has been moved from #1 to #7 now back to #3 on the Liver transplant list...still praying for that to all come through.

Nikaya is getting ready for Kindergarten, she cannot wait until it starts...the other kids CAN wait.

Demi's Big reward

2009-06-11T17:45:00.000-07:00

Demi received an award that she has been working toward all 3rd grade year...a new bike!
In order to receive the bike she had to have 100% attendance and score well on her IRI (Idaho Reading Indicator) and ISAT (Idaho Standardized Acheivment Testing)...she did all of the above and received the reward one day with her Pappy and Mammy!

Kai, Demi and Nikaya all mugging for the camera

Demi trying out the new wheels!

Demi with her Certificate and new bike!

DEREK UPDATE

2009-05-17T21:46:00.000-07:00

Derek is in desperate need of prayers again...still....
He had a fever of 102.9* and was hospitalized due to dehydration and his liver enzyme counts being out of whack. On May 13th he had an ERCP, which allows the Docs to check on his bile ducts and the stint that they had placed in there to hold it open to give him the optimum use of this liver before possibly needing another one. They are not sure if it was the lack of antibiotics allowed for the procedure, the non sterile dye they use for the ERCP, or just God's timing, but Derek is in need of a transplant again.

For a while, Derek has been reactivated on the list, first being #9 with a MELD score of 5.8, then moved to #7 with a slightly higher score of 7.0. Today, Derek was moved to #1 with a MELD of 26! His MELD for the first transplant was 23. We now wait to hear word that a liver has come up, another family has had to make a hard decision, and that Derek is a match.

PLEASE, we ask that you pray for him, the other families that may be making this decision to donate, the Docs who will make the decision for which liver is his, transplant it and that the right one finally be implanted.
To be 29 yo and to have to go thru this again in such a short time is unimaginable, yet Derek keeps his spirits high and knows that it is for a purpose.

I will keep you updated! Thanks!

Hunter

2009-05-17T21:29:00.000-07:00

Hunter and Aunt Heather, Mean mugging for the Camera on Easter '09

On May 3rd, 1997 a beautiful baby boy came to be in this world. He and a twin, our son Braeden, were born in Port-au-Prince, Haiti. our two sweeties were cared for by their Birth father until 18 days old, eating only sugar water because he didn't have anything else to feed them. He brought the two tiny little creatures to Dr. Bernard's home and begged him to take them. We received a call that we had waited for forever, we had a baby...well, TWO babies. They wanted us to know that they were tiny, malnourished and had a slim chance of survival, but they were ours if we wanted them. We said a hopeful YES to them and prayed that they would be safe and we could finally have the children we so desperately wanted.

You see, We had begun our process of adoption for a girl, we had girls referred that were taken away, girls that died after referral and girls that were to be ours that never ended up coming to the orphanage. Of course, that was 12 years ago and things were done differently in the Haitian adoption world than they are now...some for the best, some for the worst.

So anyway, We waited for news that we could travel. We got a call late one evening from Dr. B saying that our boys were sick and in the hospital..they were tiny, Hunter weighing in at 3.5lbs, Braeden weighing in a 2lbs. We prayed and begged for them to be able to come home, but knew they were not healthy enough to make the trip.

Two days later, we received another late night call from Dr. B, this one letting us know our worst fears, our sweet little Braeden had passed away at 1 month old. My knees gave way and I sat on the floor and cried, wondering what I had done somewhere to be punished so much to have to lose a child I never got to hold or tell I loved to their sweet little face. We were devastated, Louis the Birth father was devastated. He came to reclaim Braeden fro burial and begged us to continue to be Hunter's family...we had never had any other thought cross our minds, but he needed to know that in his mind that we were committed to Hunter...f course we were.

Hunter remained in the hospital in PAP for 1 more month and at the age of 2 months and 1 day, he arrived in Miami for us to pick up, being escorted by Mme. Bernard.

May 3rd was a wonderful day in our lives, it gave us the son we wanted and love so much, watching him grow and mature into a young man.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY HUNTER, WE LOVE YOU!!!

Updates

2009-05-17T21:18:00.000-07:00

Hello! Since it has been a couple of weeks since I was here last, I thought I would update everyone.

I had my dental appointment and was EXTREMELY high and got my molar pulled. All went well, I remember bits and pieces of the day, but not all of it. Nikaya had stayed home with daddy that day, since she wasn't feeling good and she laid on the couch with me to keep me company. She decided Spongebob was better viewed in her room since I snored to much and did not change the channel when needed...hehe

Kai had his visit to the Urologist. It had to be one of the single most hilarious times I have had in a while. When he arrived they gave him a cup with his name on it, to which he was excited for, thinking he was getting a snack with juice. When told he needed to pee in the cup he looked at all of us like we were insane and that was indeed disgusting. When he and I go into our little room, he proceeds to tell me he is big enough to do the job himself and goes into the bathroom. I peek thru the door in time to see him undo his britches, look at the cup, his pant and then how many hands he had and try to figure out how he was going to do it all. He then gets the brilliant idea to put the cup on the floor and aim from up high...hehehe I stop him in time to avoid a HUGE mess. Afterwards he and I sit in the little room that had WAY to many posters of men's anatomy on the wall. Kai is looking long and hard at one (which was the dissected view of the male anatomy), He finally exclaims " I know what that is!!!" I ask him "What is it?" to which he replies 'SQUIDWART!!" (the squid neighbor from Spongebob Squarepants) I never laughed so hard in my life. The Doc is thinking of renaming the poster in his honor. :-)

Life has been good, we have survived Nikaya having a temperature of 103.5*, my tooth hole causing pain (hoping for it not to be a dry socket and just allergies), and trying to get things done around here. I have some more news, but will put it all in seperate posts to keep from running you long on this one!

Get 'Er Done

2009-05-04T17:17:00.000-07:00

OK...Demi's new retainer is in with her tooth on it..looks pretty good. She talks a little funny and will until she gets used to it being in her mouth. They will adjust the retainer from time to time as she grows, but she will need to wear it until her jaw stops growing and teeth quit falling out and something more permanent will be done-about the time she turns 18.

Kai and Nikaya have appointments tomorrow to start their immunizations-YUK! I have put it off and put it off and finally after much research decided to get it done. They will have to catch up, but do not require some of the shots that infants and toddlers do since they are older. They will probably have to go to the Doc about 1 time a month for shots until they are caught up, but it is for the best.
May 11th Kai has a visit with the urologist. This is a long time coming and will be gearing up to fix a problem he has which will probably require surgery. I will let you know when the surgery will be coming so you can all pray-it will be very much appreciated.

I have yet to get my tooth pulled but did see the doc. Right now I am living with infection in my jaw, but really the pain is getting worse and makes my head hurt all the time.
I told Curtis the infection is probably eating its way to my brain, which he replied "well, then it will starve" HAHA...everyone is a comedian. I am going to have to talk to them about what to do, but they have already told me they would drug me to the high heaves to pull it out and then we can go from there.

Met the foot Doc-he said my foot is C shaped with a bunion and bone spur, that is what is causing all the pain. I should watch how often I walk (I LOVE TO WALK) and watch the number of stairs I take (I have a 2 story house and climb stairs into the cage all the time...) . He wrapped my foot to help support it but I then had an allergic reaction to the tape-lost some skin and now I have a 'wookie foot' with adhesive that causes everything to stick to it from lint, cat hair to my own shoe. I will have to wait to get any kind of surgery done until I have money and go to Haiti to escort- I REFUSE to travel to Haiti in a boot that goes up to my knee. The surgery will go one of two ways-heal in 6-8 weeks with minimal crutch usage and smaller boot OR 8-10 weeks in a boot up to my knee and walker that requires a knee walker thing that I ped around on...FUN!

Heard from Haiti that they have the passport of the girl I will escort. Hoping all will go down so I can travel in June and then make plans to get my foot surgery completed...ah..more money needed...let it rain down cash from the sky cuz I don't have any!

Hope all is well with you out there, we are just living each day hoping to get to the next!

Debbie Downer Post...

2009-04-23T19:55:00.000-07:00

Well...what a FABULOUS night followed by a CRAPTACULAR day.

Last night Curt and I went out for our 18 year anniversary! We went and had a nice (cheap) dinner at Applebee's and then went to see Jeff Dunham and Brian the Guitar Guy. They are comedians...Jeff D is the guy with the puppets like Achmed, Walter, Peanut and Jose Jalapeno; Guitar Guy, well...he is the guy with a guitar..hehe
We had a blast, the kids had fun here with Sam, our wonderful neighbor gal who watched all of them for us! Fun, FUN!!

Craptacular item #1:
Today we go do the dentist thing. They decide that the tooth that Demi has been working on for the last year (after her fall in the shower) is dead and root canal will not work...her body is reabsorbing the calcium and she must lose the tooth. They had her numb, but more had to be done so I held her hand as they numbed more and then chiseled that thing out of her, watched it crumble out of her mouth...permanent front tooth as well. :-(
Demi shed some tears, half out of fear of the procedure and half out of 'oh my gosh I wont have a tooth there now'. They have done the mold for a false tooth for her, it will be on a retainer type gizmo I guess;. should be done in 1-2 weeks..in the meantime the hole in her gums has to heal. Very sad and hard to watch.

Craptacular item #2:
I have MY appointment. I have made it 37 years without so much as a cavity. A couple of years ago I was naughty and chewing ice and cracked a tooth. I bypassed cavities and filings and went straight to ROOT CANAL...(insert scary music here) Now it appears that my wonderful root canal failed and I will have to have my tooth removed as well-molar on left side, but a BIG tooth none the less.

I am giving in today. I feel that when I am almost getting ahead I am shoved to the back to try and climb up again.
I try to exercise-my foot swells and my toe needs fixed=surgery...
My woman parts are not working right and need fixed=surgery...
My tooth was fixed and now infecting my jaw=surgery/removal...

I am so frustrated with life but try to remember that at least I have a life to complain about but I just want to sit in a hole, curl up in the fetal position and CRY.....

Sorry to be Debbie Downer....just been my day and It was MY day to have I guess.

Hello Again

2009-04-19T17:47:00.000-07:00

WOW, it has been forever since I posted. I have been busy, living and enjoying life though, so I cannot complain.

Got to see Derek for Easter, that was nice. He is looking good, pale even..hehe and seems to be doing OK considering his Bile Ducts are smaller than they should be. He is #9 on the list and will remain on it going up and down for the rest of his life, or until a new liver is transplanted. He is good with this and knows that there is nothing going on in his life the good Lord has not given him to deal with for a reason.

Work is good. Some days I am busy, others I play Mahjong while hitting my faceboook profile to chat..hehe Adoptions are still slow...I am still waiting for a certain little girl to be ready so I can bring her home. It has been 1 years since her family visited her and brought he sister home so they are ANXIOUS for her to be home as well. The little gal just got released from MOI so now once we have passport we can get Birth Parent redone and get her home. Another family is waiting to be released from IBESR. They have been there forever, but the dossier wasn't complete due to adding new documents. They are hoping now that all items are in Haiti they can get them to the IBESR (you must have an appointment) so they can get approval and get going.
Fights are good...2 coming up for me-May 1st at Qwest and May2nd-at O'Connor Field House. Excited to get back to the cage again and see some good fights.

Got alot done here in the house, cleaned closets, purged junk, donated clothes and cleaned real well in places that had not seen sun for a while due to bad weather...God is good!

Please Take A Look

2009-03-27T19:13:00.000-07:00

If you have a moment, please check the link below.

This family is dear friends of mine. They have taken on 3 beautiful children from Haiti as well as have 3 bio children. They are currently adopting a teen boy from Haiti as well.
Now that the children are home, they find it impossible for one of the children to be safely kept in their family, due to reasons I wont post here due to my full knowledge of them.

I am asking for a couple of things from all of you out there.

1. To stop by the blog listed and see if this child would fit into YOUR family....
http://www.makefunofyourday.blogspot.com/

2. If the child is not meant to be in your family: PRAY, PRAY, PRAY

3. We are talking about a beautiful girl here who needs a loving home, NOT a group home, or further situations which she cannot control or be victimized in.

This family LOVES this child and only want the best for her, she was given to them by God for one reason or another. If it is in YOUR ability to have her in your home or you know of a family she could possibly be in, PLEASE contact them at their blog or contact me here or at thehaitilady@hotmail.com

Blessings,
LeAnne

On The List

2009-03-24T21:13:00.000-07:00

Good news..(I guess) is that Derek is now officially on the list again for a new liver. Insurance said that they would pay for all of the surgery etc BUT the liver itself. He had to sign financial agreement with the hospital to make payments (probably forever...) to get on the list. Now we wait and pray that a liver becomes available for him soon. He is fairly close to the top..not sure which number and when I do, I will let you know.
It is so hard, his body isn't necessarily rejecting the liver, the new liver just isn't working. I hope and pray that this will be it, the new liver will be good for him and he can get back to whatever normal is going to be for him...pain free and not yellow.

Derek Update

2009-03-18T19:04:00.000-07:00

A quick post about Derek.

Derek has been in and out of the hospital lately due to problems with his bile ducts in his new liver. They have stinted one, after he began turning yellow and his bilirubin count went to 8 again. After the stinting his bilirubin has dropped to about 5, and they have given him med's to thin his bile hoping that it will allow the stint to work and clear out his body of the bile that has leaked into his system from the damaged duct.
On Tuesday they had tested him again and though things are lower than before, they are thinking that Derek may have to do blood work and possibly look at the full work up to get on the list again, Yes, ANOTHER transplant is very likely in his future. We are hoping that the med's will work, that God will intervene and another new liver will not be needed...that the new one he just got will begin to work as needed.
Please, prayers are DESPERATELY needed as Derek hits this next trial in his young life.

At Last...A New Family

2009-03-12T19:57:00.000-07:00

These two little sweeties are meeting their new mamma and daddy tomorrow!!!

After a L...O...N...G... wait, Geslande and Joravena will be uniting with their Forever Family on Friday by 2pm. I am so excited for all of them. Little J (the youngest) has been in the orphanage since she was about 2 weeks old, and she just turned 2 years old about 2 weeks ago....like I said-it has been a long process for them.

Pray for safety for the family (Aaron and Vanessa) as they travel to experience Haiti and all it has to show them while they get their girls.

YEAH GOD!!!

DEREK UPDATE

2009-03-09T20:17:00.001-07:00

Curt's brother Derek has been doing pretty good. We had a scare recently when he began to turn yellow again and feel really ill and suffer from pain in his abdomen. He spiked a fever of 103* and had to be hospitalized. They did a procedure to check out his new liver and found that one of his bile ducts was constricted. This happens in about 30% of the cases so it isn't a big surprise. When they connect the liver to the body the new ducts can be scarred and constrict. They stinted it and he is already improving and out of the hospital.
Below are pics of when he was in. I saved most of the really morbid looking ones and kept them out...if you want to see some gnarly pics check out his caringbridge web site listed on the side of the page!

Derek 2 hours post-op

Derek's 58 staples

Derek this last week...HE LOOKS AMAZING!

Updating My Life on Here

2009-03-09T20:07:00.000-07:00

Hello! It has been over a month since I have been on here. We have had AWANA's times 4 kids, basketball games times 2 boys, Cheerleading times 2 girls and Fights times 1 busy and tired mom. Curtis has had school on Mondays (a Dale Carnegie Class on Public Speaking he is taking for work) which he will graduate from by the end of the month I believe.

B-ball is over for the season so we have a few nights at home!! YEEHAW for that idea. I used to feel rushed having to work and do dinner etc afterwards, but B-ball season showed me that I do have more time in the evenings when B-ball is over...all about perspective I guess. :-P

Things here have been busy but good. Both of us are still employed, a big plus for this day and age, and enjoying our jobs as much as one can when you are working for a living.

Hard to believe that March 7th was 1 year since we lost my Bio dad Rick...His B-day is March 15th. Going to be hard to pass that milestone. I have had teary eyes, but have not let myself sit down and just remember and cry like I need too. If weather permits, I am planning on going with my Aunt Pam and Grandma to the cemetery on Saturday, his B-day, to decorate his new headstone (I will post a photo when I get there) and plant a Peonies bush, as well as just celebrate his B-day without him for the first time. I am anxious to see the new headstone since it just got finished. Weird thing to look forward to, but it gives some closure that I am craving but that I am fearful of at the same time. I will never forget him, but I feel like having a headstone honors him more to the outside world, kind of a 'Hello..I was here and meant something to someone' type of thing.

I am looking forward to sitting down and reading, blogging and getting caught up with the cyber world and friends that I have missed over the last month, as well as my usual workouts that have been sorely missed and much needed.

I'm Here...Really

2009-02-08T16:45:00.000-08:00

Sorry it has been a while since I posted. I have not had much down time to take a moment to post anything over the last couple of weeks. I have dome great pic's of Derek-In the hospital, before surgery, post surgery and of his liver...just have to have time to post it for you.

Derek is doing well. He is home, walking, got his staples out this week (Friday, I believe)

We have enjoyed Basketball practices, games, cheer practices, performances, AWANA's etc...and will hopefully see an end to all the busy by the end of Feb. Of course, with 4 kids it is always busy, but less busy than NOW...hehe B-ball will be over, cheer will go back to 1 day a week and AWANA's is always up, but we are good with that.

Unfortunately due to the busy life schedule I had to drop out of Choir at church...probably for the best since I think I was the scariest Soprano ever..hehe If your voice changes during puberty, I am not sure what mine is doing now...?? I have been down to working out 2-3 days a week instead of 4...harder to lose weight but I am still working on it.

I hope all of you out there are doing well. I will see if I can post Derek's photos in the next couple of days!!

Done...

2009-01-21T09:13:00.000-08:00

Derek is out of the O.R. and into ICU. No one could see him last night, but from what we hear from family in Seattle, the staff say he is quite the fighter...no real surprise to us..hehe

Derek has a long road ahead of him, possibly 1 month in the hospital, anti rejection drugs for life and trying not to get sick for a while...Derek has never been the 'normal' one so we will see how long all that goes on. :-P

I know that Derek is very thankful to his donor, as are all of us. Continue to pray for them as he now has a chance at life that we couldn't see before. You never want to imagine losing someone you love, but it was a reality for all of us for a while. Such a vibrant young man had to endure a test that no one should have to. I think he is overwhelmed by the amount of prayer he received during this trial in his life and I know he will never forget it, I know as his family, we will not.

We didn't get to Seattle for the surgery, but Curt is planning on going this weekend...even if he has to drive-he has to wrap his arms around him and squeeze to make it all better in his mind.
We did spend this time on the phone, email and facebook, myspace etc..updating everyone all over the U.S. what was going on and reading the Prayers coming thru from people who do not even know Derek....truly amazing. For those who believe there is no God, they can look at this and go suck eggs...hehe
THANK YOU!!!

Yes, Yes, Yes

2009-01-20T21:00:00.000-08:00

OK...Derek went into surgery about 1 PM Seattle time. He now has the old, nasty liver out and the new one being put in with blood pumping thru it...he is stable and doing well. Thank the good Lord he is strong in heart and mind, his body has failed him so much lately.

Prayers are still coveted as he getting final touches, closed and recovery room time...all in all, 12 hour surgery will have been done.

Still Waiting

2009-01-19T20:43:00.000-08:00

We are still waiting to hear that Derek has been moved in to surgery. As it stands now, the liver IS Derek's and he is to wait at the hospital for the surgery. What we wait for is one of two things.
1. The Surgical Teams need to be in place to 'harvest' the organs being donated and all must be done in a certain order. Heart, Lungs, Kidneys then Liver and Pancreas. It just takes time to gather all of the teams to their appropriate places etc.
2. This is the reason the Doctor thinks Derek is waiting-The family of the Donor is not yet ready to say goodbye.
The Dr. said the liver is a perfect match for Derek, in size, age etc. and in good condition/healthy. That being true, the person donating is probably a 15-40 year old male in good shape and relative health that passed before anyone knew he was going too and they are not ready to say goodbye. I cannot blame them, their loved one died and they must be given the time to come to terms with this before the hospital comes in to remove organs. I feel guilt as I sit here and pray for Derek to live; I have always known it means that someone else has to die, but it is very painful to think about what that family is going thru right now....our hope is their sadness...life is so unfair.
Continue to lift Derek up in prayers and also lift up the Donor and his family...they all need it right now.

It is Derek's Day!

2009-01-19T09:11:00.000-08:00

GOD IS GOOD! Yesterday during Church, Derek received his page to get to the hospital. As of 12:51am this morning, Derek has been approved for the liver and should be undergoing the surgery this evening. I am not sure of all the specifics right now, but he has been tested, the liver has been tested and he has been told he will receive the liver. I am not sure if #1 on the list has gotten their liver, if the liver was not compatible with #1 or what, all we are focusing on is how this effects Derek...and he is the one getting THIS liver. We have been happy, fearful and just so thankful that Derek has gotten the page and that he has the chance at life.
Our prayers big time for the following:
1. That Derek pull thru this surgery well and liver does well inside him now.
2. That the family of the Donor is at peace, they have just lost someone they love and made a hard decision to help another human being whom they do not know...VERY unselfish!!
3. That the person who passed was Christian and is somewhere being blessed by the fact that they have helped a fellow human being in their last moments!

Life is Good, And I Feel Fine...

2009-01-17T22:45:00.000-08:00

Life has been good...busy, but good.
As I said before, we are entering the time of Basketball with Cheer continuing and School, Work and life in general...we pray the good Lord puts enough hours in the day for us!

Tonight we had Curt's 20 Year High School Reunion. WOW, 20 years....can you believe it? We met several of his class, about 40-50 students with spouses, at the Old Spaghetti Factory. Had a great dinner (LOVE that the place has a Gluten Free menu for me!) and had a great time catching up with everyone.
I know many of the people as well, since his high school had about 150 students graduate in '88 and he and I were High School sweethearts...different schools..him 2 years older than me in grades, but schools close in proximity none the less.
WE had to change our plans late in the game since our planned babysitter couldn't do it and we had to call in reinforcements....THANKS PEGGY AND JOHN FOR TAKING THE MONSTERS FOR US TONIGHT!!! It is often hard to find someone who will watch 4 kids, let alone 4 kids on short notice..hehe

Today I managed to complete my CPR-HCP (Health Care Provider) course and will take an Advanced First Aid next (thought this one was it but I was wrong..never happened before..hehe) I turned in my application for my Second's License (Cut-Man approval for Cage Medic) to the State on Friday. Hope to hear back on that soon as well.
Jen and I are headed to Lewiston in Feb to work some fights at the Casino up there...finally get to meet our Head Cut Man Lawrence...should be a blast!

All is well on the home front.
Derek still waits for a Liver (but thank the Lord he is on the list!) and prayers are always coveted to keep him healthy until one comes available.

Hell Months....

2009-01-12T20:53:00.000-08:00

Now starts at least 2 'Hell Months'
.
This week begins basketball for 2 boys, Hunter on Tuesday and Thursday and Kai on Wednesday); regular cheer for Demi on Saturday and AWANA for all on Wednesday (minus Kai if B-ball stays on Wed). Saturdays will also include games for the boys..both should be in the same place, but different times.

Work is all week, working out is all week (when I can now fit it in...hehe) and Curtis started a new class on Mondays so I am single mom until 10:30pm for the next 12 weeks.

I love and despise these times when I am not sure if I am coming or going. I came home and got so much done with the house (actually I straightened it so it appeared that it was only 'lived in' as opposed to filthy..hehe) I MUST do this for my OCD to decide that life is in order so I can kinda function...now off to read so I can unwind for bed!

God Is Good

2009-01-11T17:55:00.000-08:00

Heard Friday PM that Derek has FINALLY been put on the Donor List for a Liver!!! Derek is listed as #2.

From what I understand, now he has a beeper and cannot be more than 1 hour away from the hospital. When a Liver comes in, he and the patient listed at #1 get a page and both must go to the Hospital. I believe that they then test both to make sure they are not ill, have any underlying conditions etc and then if #1 is sick, the liver is his. If #1 receives the Liver, Derek moves to #1.

All in all, Derek is feeling pretty craptacular right now and is showing signs of Advance Liver Disease. His MELD score (Model for End Stage Liver Disease) was 21 on Dec. 29th, 2008 and is now already 23...only a couple of weeks later, which is a 2 point rise in a short time...not good.

Continue prayer as Derek and the patient listed at #1 wait to hear they have an acceptable donor and a transplant can be completed!

Fun Friday Night

2009-01-05T20:14:00.000-08:00

Friday I spent the AM at the Funeral for Justin Eilers, the MMA Fighter who was Murdered on Christmas Day. I had the privilege to meet his brother, his mother, his father and step mother and most of all, his son, Tyson. I was able to tell Tyson the story of when his dad cut his leg and I fixed him up. Tyson knew about the pants with the hole in them and said his dad's team all won that night so his dad called them his lucky pants. They thanked me for taking care of him when he was hurt, and I thanked them for making such an amazing guy who was bigger than life itself and who had a smile that lit up the room....he will be missed.

ME WITH JENS PULVER

Friday night we went to Shorty's for a benefit being put on for Tyson that was hosted by Jens Pulver from the UFC/ECW. Jens is a great guy who is friendly with the fans and took pictures and gave out his autograph (yeah, I got one...hehe) He even signed one guys fake leg for him! ;-)

I have to say, I have not been to a bar in ages, don't ever go out like that and tend to be home early except on Fight Nights when I must be out late. I am not sure how some people 'party' their life away, since one night stuck with me for 2-3 days...hehe. Curt says it is because I am getting old and I never built up a tolerance for it.

All in all, I had fun, hung with a couple of my favorite guys....here they are:

ME AND"SHORTY"

ME AND DAVE "THE URBAN ASSASSIN"

ME, JENN, LESLIE, STEPH

R.I.P. Justin

2008-12-27T00:31:00.001-08:00

A Fighter I know from working all the local fights, was murdered Christmas night. I had Mc'Gyvered him up during the November fights after he had cut his leg cutting up tape for gloves. Justin was a Huge guy, with hands the size of my head. He could be boisterous and ornery, but was also known to be a gentle giant.
Justin came up to me the last fights, Dec. 12th, and showed me his leg I had fixed and gave me a hug and said thank you for taking the time to fix him up. He said his pants with the huge gash on them were now his lucky pants...he was wearing them the night of the fights.

Please take a minute to read below and say a prayer for Justin and his family, as it has been revealed that 2 young children were in the home at the time he was shot.

R.I.P. Justin

Saturday, December 27, 2008by Loretta Hunt (lhunt@sherdog.com)
15598
Justin Eilers was shot and died shortly after on Friday morning in an apparent domestic disturbance at an acquaintance’s home in Canyon County, Idaho. Eilers was 30 years old. Canyon County sheriffs arrived at the residence at 10:44 p.m. MST, where Eilers was found shot and wounded. "Emergency medical staff took live-saving measures, but they were unsuccessful," said Capt. Dana Maxfield. Eilers was pronounced dead at the scene.

An autopsy conducted Friday released the cause of death as a single gunshot wound to the chest. The bullet reportedly punctured Eilers’ lung before exiting his body, said Monte Cox, Eiler's longtime manager.

Cox said Eilers had gathered with relatives for the holidays, but tensions escalated with an ex-girlfriend, also in attendance. Eilers was asked to leave the residence, but was said to have refused and began throwing dishes and other objects in protest. The home’s owner was then said to have pulled a gun on Eilers and shot him in the chest after a brief verbal confrontation.

Eilers’ ex-girlfriend, mother, and young son were said to have been in the room at the time of the shooting.

James Robert Malec, 48, was arrested and charged with second degree murder in relation with the shooting, said Capt. Maxfield. It is believed that Malec is Eilers’ mother’s boyfriend.

Capt. Maxfield could not confirm this relationship or Eilers' alleged interaction with the ex-girlfriend. Maxfield did confirm that numerous relatives were at the scene at the time of the shooting.

Eilers was introduced to the fight game by close friend and former UFC champion Jens Pulver, who saw potential in the former Iowa State middle linebacker. After a brief tryout, Eilers became a member of the formidable Miletich Martial Arts team. A well-liked figure in the fight community, the athletic heavyweight quickly rose through the ranks and fought for the UFC heavyweight championship against Andrei Arlovski at UFC 53 in June 2005. The fight was stopped 4:10 into the first round when Eilers incurred a knee injury and collapsed to the canvas. Eilers (19-7-1) appeared in the Octagon four times, and went 1-3 in the UFC.

The Boise native reeled off 10 victories in his next 11 fights and got his second title bid for the EliteXC promotion in 2008.

After a second-round loss to the much heftier Antonio Silva last July, Eilers announced he’d be moving down to the 205-pound division. “He was really getting his fight career together,” said Cox, who called Eilers a good friend.

Jeff Sherwood and Brian Knapp contributed to this report.

NINJA....

2008-12-15T20:27:00.000-08:00

Sorry it has been a while...I seem to lose track of time and the days all smoosh together and I find myself at the end of the line. :-)

I had fights recently, waiting for my friends (who got AWESOME photos of me doing my thing!!) to get the pics to me to post....BUSY night....lets see-18 fights =36 guys who want to pummel each other. A Full moon, Friday night and Beer....see where I am going with this...hehe
We had broken collar bones, noses, facial bones, knockouts and some that just begged to be done because they were exhausted...it was quite the night. We arrived for pre-fight checks at 5pm and got out of there around midnight.

Saturday was a Cheer performance at 9:45am and then Demi and I tackled the grocery store. Once we were done we chilled at home and TRIED to get things done and Sunday hit church. I came home Sunday and had Women's Self Defense.
YES, I am taking ANOTHER class...hehehahahoho. This one is on going and will be moving from 1 Sunday a month to 2...Thanks Scott, Love ya for it!
Sunday he offered for us to break boards with our forearm/elbow areas. Do you think I tried....YES! I stood my ground and gave that board a hard smack and I really think it hit me back..OUCH. I tried again and still it didn't break. Scott tells me "LeAnne, you are trying to hit the board and slowing down, pretend you are trying to hit me...not the board!" That was all the encouragement I needed. I hit that thing a 3rd time and my forearm went right thru it...I BROKE IT IN HALF!!! Of course my arm lost some skin on the elbow and I have a pretty purple mark, but doggone it, I did it!!! I am a freaking NINJA! ;-)

For all of you who have been praying, THANK YOU....Derek is hanging in there right now. Last update we received we heard that the insurance is making him wait until around Jan. 1st to be on the list. We are hoping he hangs on and things will move quickly once he is approved so a new liver can be transplanted. He has his 29th B-day Dec. 29th....hoping he will be feeling well enough to have a nice dinner with his Girlfriend, Kami.

Well, off to bed. I am so tired and need my beauty sleep so I can get up tomorrow and do it all again!

A Little Weird Around Here

2008-12-08T18:45:00.000-08:00

OK...today we had a TOTAL Schneiderville moment around here. :-P
Curtis had gone into the boys room to talk to Hunter about being a typical pre-teen and went over to check on how Rocco (Hunter's Turtle) was doing. Low and behold I hear him holler for me to come upstairs..NO ROCCO! We dug in the rocks thinking maybe he had buried himself to do a little hibernating etc but still could not find him. We got out the flashlight and looked in all the bedrooms. That little turkey (or turtle I should say) made it all the way across the boy bedroom, down the hall and into our bedroom...quite a safari for the little guy. Not sure if he is glad to be back home or if he enjoyed himself out and about. Of course, Hunter's biggest fear was that Skittles or Norman the cats ate him. We decided that ol' Rocco was smart enough to escape, he is smart enough to hid in his shell to avoid the cat monsters!

All I could say the whole time is..."If we can't find him we have to move cuz I am NOT living in a house with a loose turtle or a house with dead turtle stench!" hehe

Can't Even Breathe I am SOOO Frustrated

2008-12-02T21:19:00.000-08:00

Got word today, day 2 of Derek supposedly being added to the Donor List for a new liver.

Today the Donor Board called Derek to ask him if he had supplemental insurance. WHAT??...He has main insurance that he has waited 6 months to pass the probation period on, then the old employer switched insurance from Blue Cross to Blue Shield to Aetna, he waited 6 months and when that was almost up the company switch back to BC/BS, causing him to have to wait ANOTHER 6 month probation period (the first one didn't count ya see...)
NOW, the Donor Idiots, excuse me, BOARD...wants to know if he has supplemental insurance as well since the cost could go over $250,000.
When Derek said no, and explained that he is on BC/BS on the Cobra plan, they shook their collective idiotic heads and told him that they WILL NOT PUT HIM ON THE LIST YET.....

I am sorry, but could they possibly get off their collective asses and look at him as a human and NOT a number....he is a valuable life that is dying, yes I said it out loud...HE IS DYING and will not live to get supplemental insurance let alone find a company that would give him insurance knowing he is going in for a transplant.

We are all so frustrated, sad, angry and just in absolute awe of the idiocy that is being thrown in front of Derek that we don't even know what to do.

I have told Curtis family they need to talk to the Media, a Lawyer, anyone who will listen to get Derek's story out there to the public.

I know how Curtis and I feel, I could not imagine how it feels for Derek, or Curt's parents, knowing that one of their children is dying in front of their eyes because someone is worried about the bottom line of a large hospital and insurance corporation. YUCK!

Recent Updates On Derek and My New Body.

2008-11-28T11:55:00.001-08:00

A couple of recent things.

1. Derek is supposed to be listed on the National Donor Registry Monday!!! Our hope and prayer is that he receive a liver soon. The sad thing is that someone must pass before he can get a liver...double edged sword...our happiness and hope is someone else's sadness and loss.

He is suffering alot of pain and cannot wear regular pants or shoes due to the swelling he is having right now. He is extremely jaundiced and feeling pretty yucky right now. He was unable to join us here for Thanksgiving, but we all understand and were able to visit with him via Video phone...wonderful.

And now, what you all have been waiting for...not...hehe

2. Here are two recent pic's of me and my progress. I see the change, but wish it were more pronounced...oh well, gotta keep going before my days as a Victoria's Secret Model can take over! ;-)

Here I am with 50 lbs. gone.

Sunday Nov. 23, 2008

Nov. 23, 2008

Gotta keep working on the bat wings...hope they tighten up and go away some day.

PRAYERS FOR DEREK DESPERATLEY NEEDED!

2008-11-23T20:33:00.000-08:00

Quick prayers for My Brother In Law Derek. (His story can be found at the Caringbridge link on the right of my page).
We are not sure what his current MELD Score is (which determines how his liver is or is not functioning) but we do know that his feet and legs are so swollen that he cannot wear shoes right now. He is in A LOT of pain (for us to know there is pain, it has to be horrific since Derek always wants everyone to believe that he is doing just fine).
PLEASE, major prayers are needed that Derek makes the Transplant list in Dec, Insurance will be approved and he can receive a Liver soon.

Thank you in advance for the prayers, Derek can really use them right now!

Have you Ever?

2008-11-14T18:57:00.000-08:00

Have you ever taken your kid to the Dr. cuz they wont #2 right? :-P

Well, took Nikaya to the Dr. today cuz she has been having issues with her pottying and training etc. She has aced #1, but #2 seems to elude her.....or the toilet...not sure which.hehe
We have acutally been worried about her bowels for a while (infrequent pottying and distended rice belly that never went away), but then believe ourselves to be over worrying things etc. When Alice, our daycare Diva, stated she thought there might be a problem we decided we would not look to weird if we took her in for it.
Spent this AM with the Dr. and he feels that N suffers from Chronic Constipation. When this continues for to long the brain quits telling the belly to empty and then you have a MAJOR problem. So, we will being giving her some fiber meds, watching how much dairy she is eating to see if there is Lactose intolerance (my thinking not Dr) and see where we go from there. I had to laugh, we had an x-ray completed and all they found was large amounts of #2 in there...we actually paid money to find out one of our kids is full of crap...hehehe :-) Curt and I have to laugh at that one!

My chest cold is mostly gone so I am back getting my cardio up and going again as oppposed to just weight workouts. The last 2 days I have begun walking again and remember why I love it! The staff at the Y laugh at me because I put on my headphones and tune out the world and walk for all eternity, jamming out the whole time.
I really must take a good photo of me (without old clothes on that are baggy) so you can see the new / less me.

The 411 on My Life

2008-11-11T20:03:00.001-08:00

Things are perking along here just fine. Busy to be exact.

I was supposed to have a meeting (another one) for Nikaya to get her into Preschool. They called me about 10 minutes before I was to leave to tell me that they miscalculated her score and she does NOT qualify. OK...I am glad that my child isn't all that delayed, but she and I were really looking forward to Preschool...not sure who was really looking forward to it the most, but we both were excited for it. Now, she will have to wait for Kindergarten and just spend her days with Alice, The day care Diva. :-P
Nikaya came home the other night and had food on her shirt. I asked her what she had on her and this was our conversation:
Mom "what do you have on your shirt?"
Nik "my lunch"
Mom "what did you have for lunch today?"
Nik: "Wizzo Whips"
M "what is Wizzo Whips"
Nik "You know...K..Y..P..Wizzo Whips" (like she is spelling it to me)
M "WHAT is Wizzo Whips"
N "I don't know, but it is good!"

Today I go to Alice's house and ask what was for lunch...Pieces of steak, coleslaw and mashed taters. MMMM...How do we get Wizzo Whips out of that? OH....Alice tells me she tells the kids everyday that they are eating LIZARD LIPS! Problem solved...hehe

Started a new Ladies Self Defense class Sunday. One Sunday a month I will go to Women's Self Defense after church. My friend Scott (Brown Belt in Ryu Kenpo Karate and Muay Thai Fighter) teaches it...LOVE IT...I think I am addicted to it or something. Maybe someday it will replace chocolate..........OK, lets not go crazy I guess. :-P

Blessings,
Me

A Funny For Your Day

2008-11-06T20:10:00.000-08:00

THANKS ANGE...TO FUNNY NOT TO PASS ALONG! ;-)

I just want to thank all of you for your educational e-mails over the past year.
Thanks to you, I no longer open a public bathroom door without using a paper towel.
I can't use the remote in a hotel room because I don't know what the last person was doing while flipping through the adult movie channels.
I can't sit down on the hotel bedspread because I can only imagine what has happened on it since it was last washed.
I have trouble shaking hands with someone who has been driving because the number one pastime while driving alone is picking your nose. (Although cell phone usage may be taking the number one spot.)
Eating a Little Debbie sends me on a guilt trip because I can only imagine how many gallons of transfat I have consumed over the years.
I can't touch any woman's purse for fear she has placed it on the floor of a public bathroom. Yuck!
I must send my special thanks to whoever sent me the one about poop in the glue on envelopes because I now have to use a wet sponge with every envelope that needs sealing.
Also, now I have to scrub the top of every can I open for the same reason.
I no longer have any savings because I gave it to a sick girl (Penny Brown) who is about to die in the hospital for the 1,387,258th time.
I no longer have any money at all, but that will change once I receive the $15,000 that Bill Gates/Microsoft and AOL are sending me for participating in their special e-mail program.
I no longer worry about my soul because I have 363,214 angels looking out for me, and St. Theresa's novena has granted my every wish.
I no longer eat KFC because their chickens are actually horrible mutant freaks with no eyes or feathers.
I no longer use cancer-causing deodorants even though I smell like a water buffalo on a hot day.
Thanks to you, I have learned that my prayers only get answered if I forward an email to seven of my friends and make a wish within five minutes.
Because of your concern I no longer drink Coca Cola because it can remove toilet stains.
I no longer can buy gasoline without taking someone along to watch the car so a serial killer won't crawl in my back seat when I'm pumping gas.
I no longer drink Pepsi or Dr. Pepper since the people who make these products are atheists who refuse to put 'Under God' on their cans.
I no longer use Saran wrap in the microwave because it causes cancer.
And thanks for letting me know I can't boil a cup of water in the microwave anymore because it will blow up in my face...disfiguring me for life.
I no longer check the coin return on pay phones because I could be pricked with a needle infected with AIDS.
I no longer go to shopping malls because someone will drug me with a perfume sample and rob me.
I no longer receive packages from UPS or FedEx since they are actually Al Qaeda in disguise.
I no longer shop at Target since they are French and don't support our American troops or the Salvation Army.
I no longer answer the phone because someone will ask me to dial a number for which I will get a phone bill with calls to Jamaica, Uganda, Singapore and Uzbekistan.
I no longer buy expensive cookies from Neiman Marcus since I now have their recipe.
Thanks to you, I can't use anyone's toilet but mine because a big brown African spider is lurking under the seat to cause me instant death when it bites my butt.
And thanks to your great advice, I can't ever pick up $5.00 dropped in the parking lot because it probably was placed there by a sex molester waiting underneath my car to grab my leg.
I can no longer drive my car because I can't buy gas from certain oil companies!
If you don't send this e-mail to at least 144,000 people in the next 70 minutes, a large dove with diarrhea will land on your head at 5:00 PM this afternoon and the fleas from 12 camels will infest your back, causing you to grow a hairy hump. I know this will occur because it actually happened to a friend of my next door neighbor's ex-mother-in-law's second husband's cousin's beautician...

I've Come A Long Way Baby!!

2008-10-30T21:32:00.000-07:00

My Self defense Class!

Me ready to rock and roll!!!

Last night was my test for women's self defense. I can sum it up in 1 word...WOW! :-)

I was asked to go first. None of us knew what to expect and Marko and Victor know me since both of them have fought in the past and are Martial Arts Instructors in the area.

I gloved up with the boxing gloves and stood in the middle of the mat with 1 guy on each corner..none of them were small, and ALL of them had Mixed Martial Arts experience.

(Side Note: I woke up yesterday morning with the feeling that I was beginning to get sick. I had a cough, stuffy head where you feel like you are in a tunnel etc..not good for my testing I tell ya)

The instructions were given: The timer will yell a name and that guy will run from his corner of the mat and attack you and you must fight him off for 30 sec. (I will tell you that 30 seconds seems like a LONG time when you are fighting..hehe) Once the timer hollered another name the first guy will leave and a new one will come up and you must fight him as well for 30 sec and so on...Without ending, timer will yell and 3rd time and 2 different guys will attack you at once.

GO.....I looked around and saw Victor (one of the instructors) coming for me. I hit him repeatedly, kicking and elbowing. I heard another name yelled and turned around in time to see another guy coming for me. I fought him hard as well.

During this time Marko (main instructor) is yelling at me to pace myself. All I could think was "this dude is trying to take me to the floor and you want me to pace myself?" I should have listened. I heard another holler and 2 guys, 1 smaller guy, Nate, came up to me in front...I heard someone yell "look out" just in time to turn around to see Cameron (HUGE...Cameron) coming for me. He bear hugged me and picked me up off the ground and down to the mat we went.

I began to really struggle to breathe. I was exhausted, could not get air and the room was spinning. I punched, kneed and kicked, almost hitting poor Cameron in a bad spot for future children..hehe.

Sometime during all of this I had lost both of my socks and ALL of my ability to breath. :-(

Marko could see I was struggling and asked if I wanted a couple...."Minutes?" I ask, "No, seconds!" ...I got 10 sec. to catch my breath and go down for choking maneuvers.

Victor began choking me...I got him in a full arm bar with ease....very proud of myself for that one!

Next move was 2 guys on you while on the ground choking and kicking at you.

I DID IT....I made it thru and completed for my certificate.

I have a new respect for the fighters since this was the longest 4 minutes or so of my life.

Once I got home, the stress on my lungs had accelerated the cold I was getting and now I sound like Darth Vader...hehe, but I DID IT!

This is something I would not be able to do ever before, physically I was to heavy and way to out of shape. Don't get me wrong, I have a long way to go, but I have come a long way baby!!!

Here are some pic's for your enjoyment!!!

Update the World

2008-10-23T21:04:00.000-07:00

The last few days have been good..busy, but good.

Had Women's Self Defense Class last night...LOVE IT! WE learned grappling...where you take someone to the floor and pull their arm funny ways until it makes a popping noise...hehe..good times! We didn't actually pop any ones arm out, but we did practice it, getting ourselves up from a sitting position while being attacked and never letting the guy get our back to the floor. I am amazed by the strength that I have gained along with the confidence. I did come away from last night with a hickey looking mark on my neck...ooppss!

I have been working out regularly for about 1 hour a night at least 4 nights a week, 5 if I can make it all week long. Curt was laughing at my arm muscle that is emerging, and I am hoping the bat wings go away some day. I have lost a total of 51lbs but have hit a plateau...even gaining a few pounds here and there. The trainer reminds me that muscle weighs more than fat so not to freak out on him! ;-P

Nikaya tested for preschool (the BIG test that took 3 hours.) I was as tired as she was afterwards. She qualified (barely, by needing a -2.00 and getting a -2.00) as Mildly Developmental Delay in Cognitive are. This just means that she is behind kids here age in things like colors, numbers, shapes etc...I already knew that, but it is nice to know I am not making things up that I should not really worry about.

During the test Nik had the teacher in stitches. She is an absolute jokester with quite the personality. The teacher asked her the following questions:

Teacher: Nikaya, if you are thirsty, what do you do?
Nikaya: Get a drink
T: If you are hungry what do you do?
N: Eat
T: If you are playing and you break something, what do you do?
N: I didn't do it!
T: I know honey, but IF you broke something then what do you do?
N: I said I didn't do it!
T: OK....but what if you and your friends or brothers and sister were playing with something and it broke?
N: Someone else did it, not me!

hehehehe Cracked the whole room up. She was so serious in her answer as well. They are excited to have the little social butterfly in the class and feel that she will more than likely be the class clown.
After they call me we will get an IEP meeting and then get her started. She can hardly wait to ride the school bus.

Well, off to bed, I am tired and the days are busy...Friday I work, work out, grocery shop and Sat. is cheer and fights, Sunday Church and then it starts all over again...whew

HELP SAVE DEREK...New Web Page

2008-10-19T19:38:00.000-07:00

To the right of the blog I have added a website link. This link will take you to the new HELP SAVE DEREK web site and journal. You can read about Derek (Curt's brother, my Brother-in-Law) and how he is doing in his fight against PSC.
I have more to post on this, since last night was a fantastic auction and dinner on his behalf that was done for fundraising. I want to get the pic's up and tell you all about the great community effort that went into getting money raised to go towards Derek's cause. I will also be putting up links for organ donation and a poem in honor of Derek....very powerful.

Most of all, Derek is asking for prayer. Prayers that he get on the donor list soon...hopefully before December. I am not sure how it all works, but part of getting on the list is showing the hospital that you can raise your own money for surgery....his portion will be about $250,000 for an uncomplicated surgery. :-(

Of course, prayers for God to find a way to help us fund this venture to save his life.

That the liver will take and be ok....60% survival rate for 5 years...Derek has always been a good gambler though..hehe

And that once the liver can become available, prayers for the family that has made the decision to give in the wake of loss.

More on it all later!

Blessings all around!

Busy,Busy

2008-10-08T20:24:00.000-07:00

Busy, busy. I have had a busy few weeks. Wednesdays I am enjoying a Women's Self Defense class at the YMCA. The class is taught by a couple of brothers I know that run a local Karate school. Last Wednesday we learned defensive moves during an attack. This Wed we learned how to use Pressure points in self defense. Next week we will learn how to handle multiple at attackers. I have to say, the class is extremely informative as well as a stress reliever...where else can you go and hit a guy in a padded suit, and get some aggression out. :-P
Once the class is finished, we will have attackers go at us all over the Y until we cross the finish line to receive our certificate of completion....definitely have to take pictures of that!

Fights have been good, got 2 more coming up this month...Oct 18th at Speedway and Oct. 25th at Qwest. Looking forward to seeing my guys again in the cage and helping any way I can!

Work is going well and I think I am getting the groove down. I have found a few places where I still look at things and say "huh?" Oh well, one day at a time I guess.
I often look back at my Bible and remember the saying "Today is all ya got, all ya need and all ya can handle" phrase Pastor said one Sunday...definitely true for me!