Two Sundays ago our Church had Communion. As Baptists, we do this maybe 1 time a month or so. C-man has now hit 10, and is to old for Children's Church and must sit in the main sermon area. I don't know if I agree with that since he has a difficult time understanding what is going on with the regular sermon, and I feel he would get more out of the children church activities than he does when he sits with us.
This, is the conversation we had yesterday, 2 weeks AFTER the fact...
C-Man: Hey mom, I liked when we were at church a couple of weeks ago and we had that snack.
Mom: What snack?
C-Man: You know, the little square and the juice, it wasn't apple juice tho...it was weird.
Mom: Oh....THAT
C-Man: Yeah, but we need to tell Pastor G that I was still hungry after that snack and we should get more.
Mom: Oh no C-Man (trying to stifle my giggle..he still cracks me up with the lack of understanding of many things since he was much older when he came home from Haiti) That was called Communion. We take it to remember the sacrifice that Jesus made for us on the Cross when he died for our sins.
C-Man: (staring blankly at me)
Mom: The little bread is supposed to be like Christ body and the juice is to be like Christ blood
C-Man: (Now a horrified look on his face) You mean, it is like we are eating Jesus?
Mom: um....Pastor.....
Wednesday, July 27, 2011
Monday, July 25, 2011
Visits & Summer Fun
Crazy Kids with K ;-P
Mitch @ the Zoo-She LOVED petting the butterfly
Mitch with staright hair...peopel think she has Mickey Mouse ears when her hair is like this...haha
C-Man and Mitch @ the Parade
Roo left home for the first time this last week, she was enjoying her time at Church Camp-YEEHAW..She had a blast, came home exhausted, full of knowledge and sad to be done but glad to be home..ALL rolled into one.
We had a visit with a little friend this past week, a little guy that we hope may some day be part of our family. Right now we have done paperwork, and put our names in with the appropriate people, now we must wait for the powers that be to make their decision.
If things pan out the way we are hoping and Praying for them to, we will post here if has indeed come to be with us. Continue to Pray for the right decisions to be made, (although selfishly I want it to be us) and that all, especially God and the little boy are served.
We are enjoying the past little bits of summer. The kids with K, the 'Fun Sitter Extraordinaire' are enjoying the zoo, water park, pool, lemonade stands and slip-n-slides.
Sunday, July 10, 2011
My Favorite Peeps
Us on New Years Eve of 2011
Us at Yummy Tucano's May 2011
( Don't let Boo's sad look fool you, he is playing the part of a brooding teen)
Friday, July 08, 2011
A Wise Woman Once Said
Sometimes The fear Of The Unknown, The Fear Of Leaving Our Own Comfort Zone, Keeps Us From Doing What Is Truely Planned For Us~Please, Let Me Not Be Afraid...
LeAnne 2011
LeAnne 2011
Friday, July 01, 2011
Hot Dog Cook Out
For our 20th Wedding Anniversary my parents got us an outdoor fire pit. Many a night the kids beg "can we burn our own dinner?" Nothing better than Brats, hot dogs, Smores and memories!
Mitch taking charge of 3 brats
C-Man posin' and looking cool
Daddy burning his meal
Roo trying to fend off Goefer the dog
Boo eating his 'burnt dinner'
Wednesday, June 29, 2011
Summer In Full Swing
Hey, long time no see!
Summer is in full swing and we are enjoying it tremendously. Evening bike rides thru the neighborhood with the kids; 5:45am walks with hubby; Day time fun for the kids with K, The Nanny Extraordinaire, and busy work schedules. Been able to set aside time to attend Church EVERY SUNDAY! God is VERY good!
We are approaching a new life change with the possibility of adding a new member to our family. We shall see how the Lord plays the plan out before us, but we hope and pray for this person every day. We shall update everyone if it happens..until then Prayers are coveted for God's Will to be done.
Of course, those that know me, know my OCD is in FULL SWING with the above possibility and the paperwork involved...what a roller coaster of a ride. Beginning Home study visits soon and we will go from there...oy vey! ;-P
Summer is in full swing and we are enjoying it tremendously. Evening bike rides thru the neighborhood with the kids; 5:45am walks with hubby; Day time fun for the kids with K, The Nanny Extraordinaire, and busy work schedules. Been able to set aside time to attend Church EVERY SUNDAY! God is VERY good!
We are approaching a new life change with the possibility of adding a new member to our family. We shall see how the Lord plays the plan out before us, but we hope and pray for this person every day. We shall update everyone if it happens..until then Prayers are coveted for God's Will to be done.
Of course, those that know me, know my OCD is in FULL SWING with the above possibility and the paperwork involved...what a roller coaster of a ride. Beginning Home study visits soon and we will go from there...oy vey! ;-P
Sunday, June 26, 2011
Frustration..Vague
Have you ever wanted to do something that everyone didn't like? Have you felt drawn/destined by God to do something that ever mortal person thought you were insane to do? THAT has been the last month of our lives.
We have been contemplating doing something that we feel drawn to do only to be met with odd looks and major cautions from people we love. We know that their desire is good, that they love us and care for us and our family, but it is frustrating....to have NO support about something that is life changing for so many. I have felt utter frustration over the mixed feelings...elation at the ability to help someone and fear that I held in my own heart. Came to God in Prayer and with my family in our home and felt that we were all in agreement that we are making the right decision only to have others look in from the outside tell us NO, you are CRAZY.
We continue to pray for God's guidance, and understanding from the outside world. That only God's will be done, not ours or others.
We have been contemplating doing something that we feel drawn to do only to be met with odd looks and major cautions from people we love. We know that their desire is good, that they love us and care for us and our family, but it is frustrating....to have NO support about something that is life changing for so many. I have felt utter frustration over the mixed feelings...elation at the ability to help someone and fear that I held in my own heart. Came to God in Prayer and with my family in our home and felt that we were all in agreement that we are making the right decision only to have others look in from the outside tell us NO, you are CRAZY.
We continue to pray for God's guidance, and understanding from the outside world. That only God's will be done, not ours or others.
Saturday, May 28, 2011
R.I.P. Grammy!
Mary Perryman
Mary (Pegram) Perryman went home to be with her husband who couldn't wait another day. Mary was the love of his life.
She missed his teasing, his affection, laughter and most of all the dancing. They loved to dance.
Mary was born May 14, 1932, in Caldwell, Ida., to Garry and Goldie Pegram of Homedale, Ida.
She married Richard "Cotton" Perryman June 27, 1948, in Winnemuca, Nev. They had four children, Pam (Ron) Garner, Cheryl Clark, Garry (Susan) Perryman and Richard Perryman II.
Mary was a devoted wife, a loving and kind mother and a caring grandmother. Her favorite things in her earlier years were knitting, crochet, and macramé.
She loved fishing and enjoyed traveling with Cotton, especially after his retirement. They enjoyed so many, many friends and treasured times with their families.
Mary's favorite times were family reunions - the camping, laughter and card playing. But any trip to Jackpot or Wildhorse she could be ready with a day's notice. She knew how to talk to those machines.
Mary loved lots of shoes, purses and her jewelry. She missed the days of fancy hats, dresses and gloves.
Mary is survived by her daughter, Pam Garner of Caldwell, and her son, Garry Perryman of Trenton, N.J., eight grandchildren, 10 great-grandchildren, and two great- great grandchildren.
Mary was preceded in death by her husband, Cotton in 1998, her daughter Cheryl in 1999, and son Rick in 2008, her mother and a sister.
Mary became too weak to battle a return of cancer. Three days before she left us, she asked her nephew Terry and her sister Betty to get her up so they could visit - Mary's way of saying, thank you for your constant love.
Services will be held at Flahiff Funeral Chapel in Caldwell, Idaho at 11 a.m., Tuesday, May 31, with a private family interment following at Wilder Cemetery in Wilder, Ida. A luncheon will take place following the services at 2005 East Linden at the community hall next to Mary's home.
All friends and family are asked to attend and share your memories of Mary. Mary's online guestbook is available at www.flahifffuneralchapel.com. Published in Idaho Press Tribune on May 26, 2011
Friday, April 22, 2011
Argh
I have not posted for a while. I have been busy, heart sick and just ARGH!
I have had several families contact me about problems with their adopted children...possibilities of disruptions and just frustration. I want to help so much, I really do...we have struggles of our own as well, and contrary to popular belief, I do NOT have all the answers. ;-)
I had written a long post about how I felt about adoption, disruption and the pain it causes ALL parties involved. It was wonderful to get it out of my head and heart, but not for public consumption. I do NOT want to seem like I am judging anyone, do not wish to hurt anyone or not be able to get my point across in the way it was meant to come across....therefore, I have deleted it.
I also heard today that my Grandma P is ill. Grandma P is 70 some odd years old and has beaten Cancer and live to tell about it. Over the last year she has aged so much, she is tired and worn from the years of loss she has suffered....outlived a husband, a daughter and a son. She is currently in a nursing/assisted living home. My aunt called me today to tell me that Gran may not be long for this Earth....I am so conflicted about how I feel about it...happy for her to finally be with her husband she has missed so much, but sad for those of us who will miss her. Whatever the good Lord chooses, I know it will be the right one, but not for us to understand until some time later.
I pray every night, and ask those of you that check in here, to pray for me as I try to discern what is ahead, choices that are made and that wisdom pours from me to others so I may make some difference to them
I have had several families contact me about problems with their adopted children...possibilities of disruptions and just frustration. I want to help so much, I really do...we have struggles of our own as well, and contrary to popular belief, I do NOT have all the answers. ;-)
I had written a long post about how I felt about adoption, disruption and the pain it causes ALL parties involved. It was wonderful to get it out of my head and heart, but not for public consumption. I do NOT want to seem like I am judging anyone, do not wish to hurt anyone or not be able to get my point across in the way it was meant to come across....therefore, I have deleted it.
I also heard today that my Grandma P is ill. Grandma P is 70 some odd years old and has beaten Cancer and live to tell about it. Over the last year she has aged so much, she is tired and worn from the years of loss she has suffered....outlived a husband, a daughter and a son. She is currently in a nursing/assisted living home. My aunt called me today to tell me that Gran may not be long for this Earth....I am so conflicted about how I feel about it...happy for her to finally be with her husband she has missed so much, but sad for those of us who will miss her. Whatever the good Lord chooses, I know it will be the right one, but not for us to understand until some time later.
I pray every night, and ask those of you that check in here, to pray for me as I try to discern what is ahead, choices that are made and that wisdom pours from me to others so I may make some difference to them
Monday, March 21, 2011
Loss in Adoption
One thing people always say when they talk to us or our children when we discuss adoption is how 'lucky' the kids are that we adopted them. I love to tell people that WE are the ones who are lucky enough to be blessed to raise them as ours, and that we have the opportunity to do so because someone else made a very difficult decision to give their child/ren up.
One thing many do not understand bout adoption is the loss involved in it. In order for us to be happy and joyful that we have children, someone else must be sad that they are giving their child away to be raised by someone else. While I am so honored to have the kids I have, in a perfect world, their Birth families would have had the option of raising them on their own, without this even being a 'choice' they had to make.
People underplay the loss that a child feels during the process of adoption, one that can last their entire lives. I see this sadness, anger, misunderstanding and grappling with the truth in my own kids every day.
Does this mean they are unhappy with their lives? No. Does it mean we are not doing a good job raising them? No. What it means is that they have an innate NEED to know WHO they are, WHERE they came from and WHY their life is the way it is.
One of the things we try to tell our kids often is that it is OK to ask questions about Haiti, Adoption, their Birth Families etc. We WANT them to understand that it does NOT make us angry nor does it make us feel inadequate...it makes us happy to be able to share with them what we know about their pasts and to find out what we do not know so we can fill in the blanks if possible.
To see your child hurting due to something no one can change, it is hard. I pray that we will be blessed to pass on to our children as much knowledge about themselves and one day make a trip to Haiti to see where they are from and hopefully reconnect with Birth Families. Until then, I pray for guidance and wisdom in raising them to be proud of who they are, sure of their places in this world and their guarantee for the next one.
One thing many do not understand bout adoption is the loss involved in it. In order for us to be happy and joyful that we have children, someone else must be sad that they are giving their child away to be raised by someone else. While I am so honored to have the kids I have, in a perfect world, their Birth families would have had the option of raising them on their own, without this even being a 'choice' they had to make.
People underplay the loss that a child feels during the process of adoption, one that can last their entire lives. I see this sadness, anger, misunderstanding and grappling with the truth in my own kids every day.
Does this mean they are unhappy with their lives? No. Does it mean we are not doing a good job raising them? No. What it means is that they have an innate NEED to know WHO they are, WHERE they came from and WHY their life is the way it is.
One of the things we try to tell our kids often is that it is OK to ask questions about Haiti, Adoption, their Birth Families etc. We WANT them to understand that it does NOT make us angry nor does it make us feel inadequate...it makes us happy to be able to share with them what we know about their pasts and to find out what we do not know so we can fill in the blanks if possible.
To see your child hurting due to something no one can change, it is hard. I pray that we will be blessed to pass on to our children as much knowledge about themselves and one day make a trip to Haiti to see where they are from and hopefully reconnect with Birth Families. Until then, I pray for guidance and wisdom in raising them to be proud of who they are, sure of their places in this world and their guarantee for the next one.
Saturday, March 12, 2011
Praying for Japan
Prayers of healing for the People of Japan. A 8.9 Earthquake hit and then set off a Tsunami with 30 Foot wall of water. For an Industrialized Nation, where Haiti is not that industrialized, this is a major hit. Many have passed during this tragedy and the counts are not all in yet. Remember Haiti, New Zealand and now Japan, as they battle to survive.
Tuesday, March 08, 2011
Good Visit
It has been an absolute wonderful 4 days with my Sister, R. I am hoping she puts some pics up soon so I can scavenge from them and post them here.
R's visit came at a hard, but wonderfully healing time. Monday, March 7th, marked 3 years to the day our Dad died. This is the first time R has been here since the funeral, and it allowed us to spend some quality time alone and visit at Rick's grave. We talked ALOT....healed ALOT and enjoyed just being together.
Being the oldest of all of my Sib's (E from the same mother) and R.L and R (from the same father) has allowed me to share my wisdom with them. I am 6.5 years older than E and was raised with him in the same home. I am 19 years older than R.L and 21 years older than R, they were raised in California with their mother.
I was able to experience life with Rick differently than R.L and R did. Our memories are different of him, and I was given many messages for them by Rick, in case he was not able to share his life with them as they got older.
I hope I was able to give some of those messages to R in a clear and concise way, to make sure that she knows that she was loved ALOT by our father, even tho many times he was unable to show it outwardly.
I was glad we were able to go to Rick's grave on his anniversary, leave some flowers, cry and blare The Beatles from the truck as snow fell....Rick, You are missed!
R's visit came at a hard, but wonderfully healing time. Monday, March 7th, marked 3 years to the day our Dad died. This is the first time R has been here since the funeral, and it allowed us to spend some quality time alone and visit at Rick's grave. We talked ALOT....healed ALOT and enjoyed just being together.
Being the oldest of all of my Sib's (E from the same mother) and R.L and R (from the same father) has allowed me to share my wisdom with them. I am 6.5 years older than E and was raised with him in the same home. I am 19 years older than R.L and 21 years older than R, they were raised in California with their mother.
I was able to experience life with Rick differently than R.L and R did. Our memories are different of him, and I was given many messages for them by Rick, in case he was not able to share his life with them as they got older.
I hope I was able to give some of those messages to R in a clear and concise way, to make sure that she knows that she was loved ALOT by our father, even tho many times he was unable to show it outwardly.
I was glad we were able to go to Rick's grave on his anniversary, leave some flowers, cry and blare The Beatles from the truck as snow fell....Rick, You are missed!
Tuesday, March 01, 2011
The Gift
In my lifetime I have received many Gifts that have reminded me that GOD is watching over me. Today, I was brought to tears by a gift from someone, a blessing from a messenger...the hands and feet of GOD on this Earth.
After work today I was approached by somone I know and love dearly, a family friend. This person told me that even though she does not 'go to church', she has always been Christian and tithes to an envelope. Once that envelope is full, she prays to GOD to tell her where that money is to go. She said often times it goes to the local Homeless Shelter, Salvation Army, or person she knows needs it.
Her envelope was full, and she had not felt the definite answer the last few days as to where it should go...not 100% like she usually does.
She said that last night she prayed again for GOD to put in her heart a name, a place where the money was needed and could be used...my families name popped into her head so vivid that she woke her husband to tell him, he smiled and said he agreed, that we were needy and that the funds could be used to the best of its ability.
Today when she appraoched me and handed me an envelope, I thought it was a card. She told me what I have told you, and that it isn't from Her, but GOD...that she wants NO THANKS other than seeing it work the way it needed to, where GOD had intended it to go.
I kissed her cheek and hugged her and off I went.
I ran a couple of errands and dropped kids off at home before heading to a friends to pick something up. I reached into my purse and saw the card. I smiled, thinking how sweet it was for a friend to think of me, and assumed it had a nice note and maybe $20 in it. At the stop sign I grabbed it and opened it and I saw the money...NOT $20, NOT $30...but money that could be used to pay some bills before utilities are shut off and shoes fall off of Mitch's feet...M...O...N...E...Y... A true GIFT FROM GOD.
I quickly closed the envelope, not wanting to count it, cold from shock that this person would think of my family in this time of need, that GOD would put this on this persons heart to give when their envelope was full......
I came home and gave it to Curt...I told him what was said and he opened it...he teared up, I cried.....Tomorrow bills will be paid, Mitch will have new shoes and I will KNOW that GOD truly does perform MIRACLES, although they seem small to some, they are miracles none the less. He uses his disciples DAILY to Bless one person to another.
THANK YOU, A MILLION THANK YOU'S.......YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE!
After work today I was approached by somone I know and love dearly, a family friend. This person told me that even though she does not 'go to church', she has always been Christian and tithes to an envelope. Once that envelope is full, she prays to GOD to tell her where that money is to go. She said often times it goes to the local Homeless Shelter, Salvation Army, or person she knows needs it.
Her envelope was full, and she had not felt the definite answer the last few days as to where it should go...not 100% like she usually does.
She said that last night she prayed again for GOD to put in her heart a name, a place where the money was needed and could be used...my families name popped into her head so vivid that she woke her husband to tell him, he smiled and said he agreed, that we were needy and that the funds could be used to the best of its ability.
Today when she appraoched me and handed me an envelope, I thought it was a card. She told me what I have told you, and that it isn't from Her, but GOD...that she wants NO THANKS other than seeing it work the way it needed to, where GOD had intended it to go.
I kissed her cheek and hugged her and off I went.
I ran a couple of errands and dropped kids off at home before heading to a friends to pick something up. I reached into my purse and saw the card. I smiled, thinking how sweet it was for a friend to think of me, and assumed it had a nice note and maybe $20 in it. At the stop sign I grabbed it and opened it and I saw the money...NOT $20, NOT $30...but money that could be used to pay some bills before utilities are shut off and shoes fall off of Mitch's feet...M...O...N...E...Y... A true GIFT FROM GOD.
I quickly closed the envelope, not wanting to count it, cold from shock that this person would think of my family in this time of need, that GOD would put this on this persons heart to give when their envelope was full......
I came home and gave it to Curt...I told him what was said and he opened it...he teared up, I cried.....Tomorrow bills will be paid, Mitch will have new shoes and I will KNOW that GOD truly does perform MIRACLES, although they seem small to some, they are miracles none the less. He uses his disciples DAILY to Bless one person to another.
THANK YOU, A MILLION THANK YOU'S.......YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE!
Monday, February 21, 2011
Vacuums Suck
Have you ever felt like you are stuck in a vacuum?
I have such frustration sometimes that all I do is getting me nowhere. I get frustrated that many days work is slow and I am bored...now don't get me wrong...getting paid to do a whole lot of nothing is nice sometimes, Other times it is down right sucky. I tend to sit there doing a crossword puzzle and think of all the things I COULD be doing at home or elsewhere. I feel I have accomplished nothing during my day and that makes me restless.
I have sent a resume out to a few places but nothing serious. I love change, really I do..but the unknown freaks me out to no end..(enter control freak here...) The thought of going somewhere else and losing my freedom to come and go as needed for the kids scares me alot. What if one of them becomes ill or there is a meeting at school I need to attend? What if one of them has a sporting event I want to go to? ARGH!
I also look back on some things and some people with regret. Many times lately I have looked back at the loss of my EMT license with quite a bit of sadness. I would LOVE to go back and get my EMT license again, possibly even go to EMT Advanced and get a job with an Ambulance locally.
Negatives:
Bottom of totem pole and cruddy shifts (BAD for family time)
Starting anew in something that I really do NOT have time for to begin with.
More loss of time with family and not sure of where I would go with it
MONEY to do the classes
So, when I see friends that are doing the classes I feel such anger at myself and a little bit of the wishing it was me doing it as well. I am not 100% sure that if I had the money I would be able to come up with the time. I am very overwhelmed some days with a job, house, kids and life in general to take time for a class 2-3 nights per week, but still I think about it often.
I don't know what the future holds, but I can only hope and pray that I can keep up! ;-)
I have such frustration sometimes that all I do is getting me nowhere. I get frustrated that many days work is slow and I am bored...now don't get me wrong...getting paid to do a whole lot of nothing is nice sometimes, Other times it is down right sucky. I tend to sit there doing a crossword puzzle and think of all the things I COULD be doing at home or elsewhere. I feel I have accomplished nothing during my day and that makes me restless.
I have sent a resume out to a few places but nothing serious. I love change, really I do..but the unknown freaks me out to no end..(enter control freak here...) The thought of going somewhere else and losing my freedom to come and go as needed for the kids scares me alot. What if one of them becomes ill or there is a meeting at school I need to attend? What if one of them has a sporting event I want to go to? ARGH!
I also look back on some things and some people with regret. Many times lately I have looked back at the loss of my EMT license with quite a bit of sadness. I would LOVE to go back and get my EMT license again, possibly even go to EMT Advanced and get a job with an Ambulance locally.
Negatives:
Bottom of totem pole and cruddy shifts (BAD for family time)
Starting anew in something that I really do NOT have time for to begin with.
More loss of time with family and not sure of where I would go with it
MONEY to do the classes
So, when I see friends that are doing the classes I feel such anger at myself and a little bit of the wishing it was me doing it as well. I am not 100% sure that if I had the money I would be able to come up with the time. I am very overwhelmed some days with a job, house, kids and life in general to take time for a class 2-3 nights per week, but still I think about it often.
I don't know what the future holds, but I can only hope and pray that I can keep up! ;-)
Sunday, February 20, 2011
Life Changing Choices and Addiction
Well here I am a couple of months into the new year. Every year I vow to eat better, exercise more and make better choices for myself. Last year I was able to lose about 40lbs. This was BIG...I have also managed to gain back 12 of it before starting my new life choices the end of January.
I have been 'behaving myself' and trying to make better food choices and trying to mentally deal with addiction. I do not drink (maybe once in a blue moon I have a drink for fun), I do not smoke (idiotic with asthma), I do not gamble (do not think strategically and I suck at it..hehe) and I do not take drugs (not even an option), so I eat...plain and simple, eating is MY drug of choice. I have taken a good look around my family tree and addiction runs deep within it.
I eat when I am bored, stressed, hungry, tired, for the hell of it. I am trying to address the reasons I eat and look at each situation I crave food as an individual lesson for myself. I am trying to ask myself, WHY do you want to eat.... right now? Most of the time I will think about a type of food (carbs-corn tortilla's was a main staple in my diet) as well as chocolate, and I can imagine eating them until I am not happy unless I eat them. I manifest the craving into something of real hunger and need.
This has not been easy for me. Since January 29, 2011 until now, I have lost 10lbs. Now, I did NOT measure, although I wish I had, because I have lost many inches in the belly, arms and legs etc. I strive to lose so much more, while gaining more about myself than ever. To fight a mental craving may be worse than a physical need to eat. The first 2-3 days were the absolute worst. I did not time the beginning of the diet well, since it coincided with mother nature (I often don't know when this will happen due to early menopause) but it made me a nasty human to live with. I was yelling at the kids, Curt and everyone..generally being a nasty bit** to be around. Curt told me that he did NOT like my new diet and then once I eaplined WHY I was acting like I was he seemed to be more understanding. It is extremely hard to detox, live with hormone fluctuations and life changes and be kind to anyone including yourself. I have to say, I have done much better with it but I continue to try my hardest to make the right choices.
I will update here my progress. Wishing everyone out there the best in the new year!
I have been 'behaving myself' and trying to make better food choices and trying to mentally deal with addiction. I do not drink (maybe once in a blue moon I have a drink for fun), I do not smoke (idiotic with asthma), I do not gamble (do not think strategically and I suck at it..hehe) and I do not take drugs (not even an option), so I eat...plain and simple, eating is MY drug of choice. I have taken a good look around my family tree and addiction runs deep within it.
I eat when I am bored, stressed, hungry, tired, for the hell of it. I am trying to address the reasons I eat and look at each situation I crave food as an individual lesson for myself. I am trying to ask myself, WHY do you want to eat.... right now? Most of the time I will think about a type of food (carbs-corn tortilla's was a main staple in my diet) as well as chocolate, and I can imagine eating them until I am not happy unless I eat them. I manifest the craving into something of real hunger and need.
This has not been easy for me. Since January 29, 2011 until now, I have lost 10lbs. Now, I did NOT measure, although I wish I had, because I have lost many inches in the belly, arms and legs etc. I strive to lose so much more, while gaining more about myself than ever. To fight a mental craving may be worse than a physical need to eat. The first 2-3 days were the absolute worst. I did not time the beginning of the diet well, since it coincided with mother nature (I often don't know when this will happen due to early menopause) but it made me a nasty human to live with. I was yelling at the kids, Curt and everyone..generally being a nasty bit** to be around. Curt told me that he did NOT like my new diet and then once I eaplined WHY I was acting like I was he seemed to be more understanding. It is extremely hard to detox, live with hormone fluctuations and life changes and be kind to anyone including yourself. I have to say, I have done much better with it but I continue to try my hardest to make the right choices.
I will update here my progress. Wishing everyone out there the best in the new year!
Monday, February 14, 2011
When Two People Fell In Love
Curt and I met when I was about 14.5 years old and he was 16. We had a friend in common, he went to school with her and ran track and cross country with her. One night while staying the night at her house, we decided to go to her school dance...our ride, was Curt and his friend Corey.
I have to say, that first night I was both in love and hated him at the same time. I thought he was cute, and enjoyed the attention and danced most of the night with him... However, he made a reference to my looks (calling me the 'ugly one') and I decided that he was no longer cute, but quite an ass ;-)
About 2 days later, he began calling my house to chat. I was excited, but brought up the ugly comment again, to which he apologized (this is a running joke in our marriage to this day...he said he only told me that because he was a naughty 16 year old boy who wanted to touch my chest and I would not let him...hehe) Being only 14.5 years old, I was not allowed to date. Curt began coming over to the house to spend time with me any way he could, usually helping me with my homework, watching movies etc....it sucked being that young and having a boyfriend you wanted to date, but I know now as an adult that it was for the best my parents stood their ground on the dating situation.
Curt and I 'went out' until we had our first date...a week before my 16th Birthday my high school held a Christmas Dance, we were able to attend ALONE for our first date!
We dated all thru high school, Curt graduating when I was a Sophomore, and moving out to join the working world. I finished high school two years later and moved in with him about a month after I graduated; we were married almost 1 year later at the ripe old ages of 19 and 20.
Here it is almost 24 years of being together and 20 years of marriage later (April 20th, 2011 to be exact) and we have been thru ups and downs together. We have been pregnant 4 times and lost 4 babies...we have watched friends marry, divorce and pass on. We have moved from rental to rental to rental and then on to our own home. We have adopted 4 of the most wonderful kids a family could ask for and been with each other thru all of it...thick and thin.
To all the skeptics who figure if you marry early, live with each other before marriage and the like, we say Thank You..for thinking we could not do it, nor would not make it...for you have given us the chance to stick out our tongues and say PPPbbbttt! ;-)
HAPPY VALENTINE'S CURTIS....I LOVE YOU!
Monday, February 07, 2011
Thoughts
I have so much to go over and decided I would just bullet point it... ;-)
* Haiti has been on the mind of our family alot lately. I hope to get to take a trip with some other adoptive mothers in April or so...$$ hopefully available
* Kids have kept us busy. Have fun watching their games and performances, but will be happy to have less on our plate.
* Getting to visit with old friend tonight should be awesome. I know she is trying to sell me something I don't really want or need, but to reconnect will be great.
* Going between the idea of staying where I am at my job or looking for something with growth potential...either way, change sucks. Keeping options open.
* Hoping I can muster the fortitude to make a Womens Bible study every Tuesday night at our Church. Want to go, Basketball will be over (track starts) but hoping I make myself learn so I can grow.
* Feel guilty, have not been to church once yet this year...it is February
* Missing a friend. He dropped off the map and has not made contact for a while....praying he is ok and it was nothing said or done that made him leave.
* Leaving Friday afternoon for Hailey...Cheer Competition. Sharing room with M.L should be fun..bring the Margarita maker please!
* Need to upload videos of cheer and basketball here for others to see...need time and Curt's computer to do so.
* Working on new diet. To cold to exercise outside (I prefer walking the neighborhood to treadmill). Down 4lbs this week and feeling successful...cannot wait for walking to begin and hopefully the 'hangry' (hungry and angry) feeling to subside! ;-) I feel the skinnier version of me trying to escape (maybe I will quit shutting her up with chocolate!)
* Exercise I will do inside consists of dancing around like a crazy woman while cleaning. Did so before work today...makes my pale face(mostly my nose) shine bright red for several hours. :-(
* Haiti has been on the mind of our family alot lately. I hope to get to take a trip with some other adoptive mothers in April or so...$$ hopefully available
* Kids have kept us busy. Have fun watching their games and performances, but will be happy to have less on our plate.
* Getting to visit with old friend tonight should be awesome. I know she is trying to sell me something I don't really want or need, but to reconnect will be great.
* Going between the idea of staying where I am at my job or looking for something with growth potential...either way, change sucks. Keeping options open.
* Hoping I can muster the fortitude to make a Womens Bible study every Tuesday night at our Church. Want to go, Basketball will be over (track starts) but hoping I make myself learn so I can grow.
* Feel guilty, have not been to church once yet this year...it is February
* Missing a friend. He dropped off the map and has not made contact for a while....praying he is ok and it was nothing said or done that made him leave.
* Leaving Friday afternoon for Hailey...Cheer Competition. Sharing room with M.L should be fun..bring the Margarita maker please!
* Need to upload videos of cheer and basketball here for others to see...need time and Curt's computer to do so.
* Working on new diet. To cold to exercise outside (I prefer walking the neighborhood to treadmill). Down 4lbs this week and feeling successful...cannot wait for walking to begin and hopefully the 'hangry' (hungry and angry) feeling to subside! ;-) I feel the skinnier version of me trying to escape (maybe I will quit shutting her up with chocolate!)
* Exercise I will do inside consists of dancing around like a crazy woman while cleaning. Did so before work today...makes my pale face(mostly my nose) shine bright red for several hours. :-(
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
Game Time Baby
Lately we have been a flurry of activity. BooBoo has mad 2 basketball games and has shown an aggressive side that we were not sure he had. He is jumping up and stuffing the players on the opposing team so they cannot get a shot, getting fouled and making his free throws like a pro. Tonight he led his team to victory in Overtime. Official stats were- 5 points, 2 rebounds, 3 steals, and 2 assists (one of which was for the go ahead score).
Roo has competed in 2 cheer competitions, taking 1st in both. I have to say that their performance last Sat. 22nd, they were in TOP performance. Mistakes that troubled them in the past seemed to fade away and they made it look easy....all of us parents were proud, the girls were proud of themselves as well.
C-Man has had 1 basketball game and 1 Bye week....try to explain Bye week to a kid that LOVES to run and 'do' his chosen sport on Saturday's..haha I think he is finally getting the idea of the game, but at his age they still travel with the ball like they are on vacation. ;-)
Mitch had her first Cheer performance and LOVED IT! Not only did she do the dance, but she finishes the routine up in the front left side of the group in FULL SPLITS....she is so excited to be able to show off her splits for anyone and everyone who will let her.
Curt and I are enjoying going to the various activities, but it can be tiring at times...we try to remind ourselves that we can rest when they are grown and we are retired!
Roo has competed in 2 cheer competitions, taking 1st in both. I have to say that their performance last Sat. 22nd, they were in TOP performance. Mistakes that troubled them in the past seemed to fade away and they made it look easy....all of us parents were proud, the girls were proud of themselves as well.
C-Man has had 1 basketball game and 1 Bye week....try to explain Bye week to a kid that LOVES to run and 'do' his chosen sport on Saturday's..haha I think he is finally getting the idea of the game, but at his age they still travel with the ball like they are on vacation. ;-)
Mitch had her first Cheer performance and LOVED IT! Not only did she do the dance, but she finishes the routine up in the front left side of the group in FULL SPLITS....she is so excited to be able to show off her splits for anyone and everyone who will let her.
Curt and I are enjoying going to the various activities, but it can be tiring at times...we try to remind ourselves that we can rest when they are grown and we are retired!
Friday, January 14, 2011
The Fun Begins
Today starts our 1.5 months of Hell...hehe
Tonight we will venture to Mitch's cheer practice from 5-6:15pm. 6:30pm we begin Roo's cheer practice.
Saturday AM we have Mitch's first performance (will post pics of her in her cheer uniform later) as well as practice for Roo and C-Mans first Basketball game.
Later in the afternoon (3pm) Roo is having 3 friends accompany her to get their toes and nails done and hair coiffed and then sleepover and bow making to celebrate her 11th year of life, she is so excited!
Since I have been gone so long from here, I did not commemorate Roo's Bday very well....I will hopefully be able to put up new pics of ALL the kids soon (read: once I get them to work and can scan them) so everyone can see how they have grown.
Well, off to enjoy the weekend and HOPEFULLY get some rest as well!
Tonight we will venture to Mitch's cheer practice from 5-6:15pm. 6:30pm we begin Roo's cheer practice.
Saturday AM we have Mitch's first performance (will post pics of her in her cheer uniform later) as well as practice for Roo and C-Mans first Basketball game.
Later in the afternoon (3pm) Roo is having 3 friends accompany her to get their toes and nails done and hair coiffed and then sleepover and bow making to celebrate her 11th year of life, she is so excited!
Since I have been gone so long from here, I did not commemorate Roo's Bday very well....I will hopefully be able to put up new pics of ALL the kids soon (read: once I get them to work and can scan them) so everyone can see how they have grown.
Well, off to enjoy the weekend and HOPEFULLY get some rest as well!
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