Friday, April 22, 2011

Argh

I have not posted for a while. I have been busy, heart sick and just ARGH!

I have had several families contact me about problems with their adopted children...possibilities of disruptions and just frustration. I want to help so much, I really do...we have struggles of our own as well, and contrary to popular belief, I do NOT have all the answers. ;-)
I had written a long post about how I felt about adoption, disruption and the pain it causes ALL parties involved. It was wonderful to get it out of my head and heart, but not for public consumption. I do NOT want to seem like I am judging anyone, do not wish to hurt anyone or not be able to get my point across in the way it was meant to come across....therefore, I have deleted it.

I also heard today that my Grandma P is ill. Grandma P is 70 some odd years old and has beaten Cancer and live to tell about it. Over the last year she has aged so much, she is tired and worn from the years of loss she has suffered....outlived a husband, a daughter and a son. She is currently in a nursing/assisted living home. My aunt called me today to tell me that Gran may not be long for this Earth....I am so conflicted about how I feel about it...happy for her to finally be with her husband she has missed so much, but sad for those of us who will miss her. Whatever the good Lord chooses, I know it will be the right one, but not for us to understand until some time later.

I pray every night, and ask those of you that check in here, to pray for me as I try to discern what is ahead, choices that are made and that wisdom pours from me to others so I may make some difference to them