Friday, December 11, 2009
Mitch went to the Pediatric Gastroenterologist. She has had so many problems with her belly and her main Doc and I were out of ideas. We have her on a great med that is hopefully going to clean out the back log of...well..and then she will be on a maintenance dose for 6-9 months. Good thing for Curt and I, is that we now know it is not behavioral, but more of a defense system from things in her past. This has allowed us to remove the blame from ourselves, treat her accordingly and help her heal the correct way...AMEN!!!
We are enjoying life and getting Christmas shopping done slowly but surely. We are glad that most of our family has decided not to do Christmas gift drawings, since that really isn't the meaning of Christmas anyway, and we will all just get together and visit and eat-WONDERFUL, less expensive plan! ;-p
AS this time of year comes up, I often think of things I want to accomplish for the next year.
Lets see if I can name a few and possibly add to my Yearly Bucket List: (in NO order)
1. Lose weight and KEEP IT OFF
2. Pay off some bills
3. Get a new tattoo
4. Go on a REAL vacation as a family
5. Pray more
6. Attend Church more regularly (gotta get the I can'ts out of Sunday's)
7. Organize my home and life to run smoother-see pray more..hehe
Sure there is more, but tired and can't think of them right now.
Off to read and hit the hay for the weekend kid activities!
Sunday, November 29, 2009
Each kid took a turn taking lights up to Daddy on the roof...Mitch is to small, so she got to stand on the ladder for a photo-as not to be left out.
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
I am so thankful for the job, it has helped catch up on bills and keep us afloat during the recession and provided less stress money wise in many aspects. It does however put a damper on personal time and time for kids. I find that I blame myself for a lot of things that probably are not all my fault, but I am the mom, which I believe alot of times is synonymous with the word Martyr. :-)
I have a kid whose grades are sliding, a choice that I believe that the child is making because they are becoming older...how do I NOT blame myself for the choices my child makes? Doesn't it reflect on me as a parent? It is hard to let go and let the child take the reins and responsibility of their own choices they are making, VERY HARD!
I need to reflect on what my ideals are and what is important. I have always been OCD with my house....it MUST look presentable (read spotless), at least downstairs where people may come by and see it. I fear that if they come and it is cluttered I will be deemed a crappy housekeeper, mother and person...not true more than likely, but my thoughts none the less.
I need to remember to stop and smell the roses with my kids, something that I have had alot of difficulty with since I began working outside the home. It has been a year and today I told Curt that I felt that our kids were suffering some for my need to work, but there was nothing to do about it since I need to work so we can keep our home and keep up on bills.
I blame myself for one child's difficulty learning in school. Even though this child has been in Haiti until the age of 3 and had little to no stimulation until they were home...a little bit of a late bloomer and a desire to be the baby forever is also happening I believe. It is hard, this juggling game I play. Some days I wish that I could just close the door and curtains, turn off the phone and just call into every ones work and school "NO, we are having a family day today!"
Prayers for me as I struggle with this, I know I am not the only one doing 500 things at once. I am thankful beyond belief for the ability to have a job when others do not have one to be frustrated with....I need to remember to be THANKFUL and Embrace the Grace more often.
A poem that hangs above my desk that I have looked at alot lately:
The 'things of Earth, the 'stuff' that gets to you
Will grow strangely dim in the light of His Glory and Grace
Learn to accept God's Grace
That is what His son died for.
3 Simple words: EMBRACE THE GRACE
Sunday, October 18, 2009
We are glad we are recovering and were able to attend Church today. I went to fights on Friday (didn't work these, just watched for once) and Cheer, grocery day, lawn mowing day for Sat. and Church and B-day party at the neighbors for today. Busy weekend, but I managed to meditate a little today while the kids were gone..hehe
Friday fights are coming up on Oct. 23rd and I will be Medic for those. Anxious to see the guys and who is fighting who this time...praying for nothing serious injury wise and the ability to care for them as necessary.
Had a great moment at church today when I was able to explain why we take Communion and true salvation to Hunter. To see in his eyes a little of what it truly means was wonderful. I think it is an analogy I will use with a couple of my friends to see if it makes more sense to them.
Imagine, you committed a horrible crime (robbery, murder) and the cops came for you but your friend said THEY did it instead. The cops take your friend and decide that the best punishment for the crime is torture and death- your friend takes that punishment for you even though you did not deserve it, YOU were the criminal, not your friend.
I loved seeing the lights totally come on for him and will try to begin the explanation for our other children. We have always taught them about God, Church and Faith, but to see true understanding of THE SACRIFICE that was made was wonderful to me. Whenever we have Communion I am often over come with tears as I imagine the hugeness of what was done for me. I begin to feel overwhelmed at the feeling and have to think happy thoughts as not to fall into tears and lay in the aisle bawling that I am yucky and glad he died for me anyway...not really a good scene I think...hehe
I hope this finds everyone well, recovering and just enjoying life, until next time-Embrace the Grace!
Monday, September 28, 2009
Kids are doing well in school. Mitch is loving school and enjoying the bus ride. Bad thing is that public school can sometimes expose the kids to things you wish they didn't have exposure to, but the flip side is that they learn that not everyone is nice in the world.
Mitch came home the other day and told me something on the way home. It was so hard not to be angry and giggle all at once.
Imagine if you will, my little Mitch sitting in the backseat. Whenever Mitch talks it is cute, she has this under bite that is hereditary and when she says certain things it just looks cute/funny.
Mitch is the 'Polite police'...this is what we call her at home, since she is often the one who tells everyone if they are saying or doing something that is neither nice nor appropriate...yes, she says appropriate...
Anyway, she tells me that two boys were fighting and she told them that it was not nice to fight and that they should be friends. One boy looked at her and said "mind your own business you stinky butthole" At this point I was glancing in the child mirror I have and could see her face....I had to watch myself so I would not giggle (her jaw jutted out and the look of absolute disgust as some little kid called HER a stinky butthole) as I told her that indeed, that was mean and inappropriate and she should have told a teacher. She said she did and the kid had to go to the Principal's office.
Now, I am NOT mother of the year, but I was not pleased someone called my sweet Mitch a stinky butthole, but, I just have not heard this b-word for so long, was flabbergasted that a Kindergartner said it and the look on her face, I had to giggle and be angry at once...I just hope she didn't see or hear me and will not need therapy for it later on.
Saturday, September 12, 2009
I do not pretend that Haiti is perfect, the Orphanage I work with has been perfect, or the man whom I help is perfect. What I do know is that in Haiti many say 'T.I.H." This is Haiti...
This last week there was a HUGE blow-up on a yahoo group that is full of families that have adopted, are adopting, or otherwise support this orphanage. I myself, became involved with the angry banter, not that I am proud of it, but I had said some not so nice things. We have had one or two on the group that even though they are well versed in the Bible, tend to live their life higher than others and point it out in full force while quoting the Bible as the backup to their nastiness.
Now, I am usually not one to judge peoples relationships with Christ. I, myself, stumble every day and know that I am not in the right place with God as I wish I was. I see to many things in life that out weigh my ability to serve him in full.
I also want to note that while adopting our 2 youngest, I had to take a Psychological Evaluation test that pulls out your characteristics of your personality......I scored CLINICAL on Social Justice. What that means is that if I feel like someone is being treated unfairly, I tend to respond 100% to the extreme to redeem that person or thing and will not rest until I feel like I have been heard.
Now, I am not trying to use this as an excuse, but when I hear people say something that they state is 100% truth about someone, not knowing that persons 100% truth, motives etc. about the situation, I will go off like a grenade. (I have to say it is nice to know there is some technical/psychological thing for this since my family always thought I just liked to start fights..hehe)
Anyway, I responded to someone angrier than I should have and feel bad that the others involved may have missed the point I was making. I hope that people begin to realize that we are dealing with sensitive issues such as children's lives and the reputation of a man who has given his life to these orphans.
I hope all that are involved are healed, find themselves right with God and do not tarnish one mans life to so-called heal another.
Tuesday, September 08, 2009
My bio father was Bi-Polar as well as an Addict. He suffered from this every day of his life. Sometimes I handled it OK, other days I wanted to pretend that he didn't exist and I didn't have to deal with it. Most of my life I was the parent in the relationship and he was the child. He passed away 1 year ago in March at the age of 53...we buried him two days before his 54th B-day. He passed from a massive heart attack. More than likely it was due to the years of abuse he put his body thru. I watched him fight with himself and often think of him when I fight my daily fight against whatever is getting to me. I miss him terribly and fell angry that my children were robbed of a grandpa that loved them very much. Even with his bad back he would get on the floor to give pony rides or bend over to pick them up. They always understood Grandpa was sick, grandpa was in the hospital etc...but they never understood why. The day I told me oldest two was a hard day for me, to tell them honestly about what ailed grandpa Rick and the hope that it never happened to me or anyone else they knew.
I spoke to my Cousin T this weekend. He has spent some time incarcerated as well as in rehab. He continues to make bad choices even though the right ones are staring him in the face. I want so much to help him and don't know how. It really is a decision that he has to make for himself. He and I discussed his 'Disease' called addiction and how he cannot control it. I reminded him that I have an Addictive past as well and every day is a fight for me to make the right choices. His girlfriend and baby have left him due to his drinking and addiction to sex and he is lost, no belief in any higher power or way to get himself out. I fear that one day we will get a call that he is gone and wonder what we could have done to help him. I know that some in my family would think it was good riddance to bad rubbish; but he is a human , a relative, a loved one...how can we turn our back on him. Maybe I think that way because I fear that one day I could be the one they turn their back on because I have made the wrong choices as well.
I now have another cousin K that is fighting a pill addiction. When I hear how far down the spiral she has gone it saddens me. I want to heal her as well, but once again know that only she can make the decision to heal and want to be healed. Her mother and father have no way to help her as she suffers from this pill addiction. It has cost her her job and is costing her her family. She sleeps all the time, neglects her family and is lost as well. She has said she would go to out patient treatment but she has not. Once again, I fear that we will get a call that she has OD'ed....a very real fear since she has accidentally done it once already.... my fear is that the next time she cannot be saved.
Me, my addiction is food. I hide myself in it, find pleasure in it and know that sometimes I eat when there is no physical hunger, just emotional hunger. I am not sure I am hiding from any 1 thing, maybe many things. I have always been friendly and tend to make friends easily. I am the fun one of the group, telling jokes and making the crowd have a good time...is that me, or is that me hiding..I do not know. When I have had surgery in the past I always get my prescriptions and give them to my hubby. Not that I know I will take them to much, but that I FEAR that I might. He doles them out and is my enabler in a different sense....enabling me to be safe. He and I have spoken many times my fears of being Bi-Polar, Addiction etc. One of the reasons I am glad we adopted-deepen the gene pool a little in that area..hehe
It is a standing order in the area of addiction that should I ever become addicted to pills, drugs, booze etc, to the point that I am incapable of making the correct decisions that he will instantly find me help no matter how much I beg, promise or plead. Until then, I fight the every day fight of weight and food and hope that I find the balance I desperately need.
Monday, September 07, 2009
J lives in Oregon, about 7 or so hours from us. His family is wonderful. It was great getting to meet them and see who this little guy was...amazing time.
Jumping on the Trampoline
Daddy with one of his Princesses
Monday, August 31, 2009
When I go to Haiti I often go with the American mindset-life here is hard, the economy is hard, I am crabby at the person in front of me in line blah, blah, blah. When I leave Haiti I begin to see how petty and little MY problems really are and how everything around me is rich in American wealth, even the poor people here are wealthy by Haitian standards.
I saw a 15 year old mother begging for money, selling herself to anyone who came by, to feed herself and her starving child. She and her child had a hunger like I have never felt. We spoke to this mother about what the Lord can do for her and how if she came to the creche she could set her child up for adoption, or at least get her a few good meals, medical tests and schooling for herself, no strings attached. We, and I mean me and the Orphan teens and Claudette, gave her money and the address to the Creche and spoke to her about what the Creche was and how it could help her and her child...begged her to make the decision to at least come and check it out.
You see, at first I passed her off like every other beggar type person who comes to the window anytime you stop. But when the teens and Claudette took note of her, we heard her cry and beg us to help her baby, it made me take notice. For Orphan teens to dig into THEIR wallets to give to her made my world get smaller as I listened to her explain what she had been doing to feed her young baby.
The mother was thin, hair was somewhat orangish, but she was beautiful under all the sadness and hunger. Her daughter was sweet as well, but very skinny, little chicken legs poking out from the long shirt she wore. Her head was mostly bald except for a few patches of orange tufts poking out....Kwashiokors is not far off for her, this little girl was starving to death. She lay listless across her mothers shoulder and stared at us like we were not there. I wanted so desperately to take a picture of them, to show them to you and to remember her forever, but I would not ask...fear that I would come off as an American tourist clicking my camera at her sadness. Instead I hold her face, and the face of her daughter in my soul.
I hope and Pray that she comes to the Creche, that she begs for the Lord to help her and that he will hear her, and she will hear him.
She, and all of Haiti remind me of the quote on my blog by Bono~Where is God~ He is indeed in the slums.
Road to the NLL orphanage in Carrefour
Monday, August 24, 2009
Had a few things this usmmer that have bene frustrating for me that has added to the stress of this thing I call my life.
I have a cousin, whom I love very much, come out as pretty much an addict. Well, she didn't COME OUT per se, she Overdosed....She spent a little time in the hospital but was not able to be committed for any type of rehab because she is an adult, an adult addict, but an adult. I fear for her as I know that my family on that side has a history of addiction, wether we want to face it or not.
EVERY member of the family has an addiction to one thing or another-food, cigarettes, alcohol or prescription drugs. I can say that here because I know that I am part of that....I have a food addiction that I work with every day. Knowing I have an addictive history and make up reminds me (read FEAR) that if I smoked, drank or tried drugs even once, that I would be an addict and lose everything. Knowing that, I do not typically drink (very rare occasion where a margarita is nice..) and only take prescription drugs given to me by my one and only Doctor. I hope and pray for my cousin as she fights her addiction to prescription drugs and hope that she can be convinced to seek the help she needs in time....I see my biological Dad, Rick, happening all over again unfortunately.
Also, as of today (Aug 24th) I am off to Haiti for a whirl wind trip to escort a sweetie home to her Forever Family. I am taking the camera and extra batteries so I am hoping to get some good pictures.....I will post when I get back here.
I hope to be back here more that school is now in session ( yes, ALL the kids are in school!) Hunter is now in 7th (Jr. High...yikes) Demi is in 4th, Kai 2nd and Nikaya hit the big Kindergarten...got a pic of her first day on the school bus and the first day of school I will post here soon!
Monday, July 06, 2009
Kai Ceus in Creche, aged 2 (courtesy Brownell's...THANK YOU!!!)
HAPPY BIRTHDAY KAI!
Saturday, June 27, 2009
Curt's dad, Ron, had to go to the hospital for chest pains and fluttering in his heart. He was in there for 2-3 days and had to have a cauterization procedure done to stop the heart from fluttering (hopefully for good). Derek got the call for a new liver, but the surgery was called off when the liver was found to have a disease they decided it best that Derek didn't have...so he waits.
Kids are enjoying the summer with Kate, she took them to the Zoo this week and they took pictures galore and had a blast. As it heats up they plan to go to the lake for water play, but until then they have ice fights on the trampoline!
I try to keep up with things around here as I work and struggle with my foot. The pain is really bad some days and I get frustrated I cannot just have the surgery right now. I am currently trying to get Curt's insurance to cover it since it is excluded from their plan...something that THEY as a COMPANY have decided I should live and suffer with, but an old man can get Viagra...not to fair if ya ask me! I will continue to fight until I can get it done and hope and pray that Advil gives me the relief I need.
I am still waiting for the trip to Haiti to bring little Carina home. It has been FOREVER and they are still waiting. Last we heard, they were having documents translated in order to go to the consulate. Once that is done we should be able to have Birth parent interview and then Visa interview and then travel. The frustration is that we are so close to the end, but we have been pretty much in this same place since April or May. The new mom and dad are also welcoming a new baby in tot he family as well, stress all around for them if ya ask me..hehe
SO, we work, play and hope to be doing good around here. I have a friend coming to our neck of the woods this summer (Ange and her Chaos) so we are hoping to see them. We also have a day in July to meet Kai's bio brother Juno...his family will be traveling thru and we are excited to meet and have the boys see each other for the first time. We will share photos of their Birth mom, as well as Birth sister I met when I traveled last time. Should be wonderful!
Thursday, June 11, 2009
Saturday my cousin's hubby commit suicide and Emily was the one who found him.
My heart hurts for her as she is to being a new life of single mom of two, to grieve and relive the nightmare of seeing her life partner the way he was left for her to find. Such a tragedy.
I know she will go thru the stages of grief, I hope that I will be able to be there for her and to provide her with the support she needs. I hope that her girls feel the love of their father and always know that what he did had NOTHING to with THEM, and EVERYTHING to do with HIMSELF.
A couple of weeks ago I get sick...the kind of sick that you don't wish upon your worst enemy. I ended up going to my Doc who said I was dehydrated and could not leave until he had given me IV fluids and meds to stop me from loosing it from both ends (TMI I know..hehe)
After all day in the Doc's office, IV bag and several blood draws and med's, it was determined that I had a stomach flu, but NOT Swine Flu...YEAH!
I have recovered and am doing well.
Kids are out of school and summer is in full swing. We have a great gal named Katye (Kate as she likes to be called) that spends the day with the kids. Kai loves her but tests her, Nikaya loves her and Demi does as well. She is going to try some recipes out with Demi this summer as well as park visits, swimming etc. She is patient with the kids and handles them well. They love taking walks around the subdivision and riding bikes to a little park at one of the neighborhoods behind us.
Kids were surprised by her one day...Kate is hearing impaired. She wears hearing aides in both ears but does very well. Kai, thinking that she could not hear him and he could get away with things learned quickly that all is not as it seems..hehe
Work is going well for both of us. My hours are staying around 6-6.5 hours a day and then home for more 'work' to keep the house up. Curt has to work a little longer hours since his office moved further into downtown, adding about 15 minutes on to his commute-it is now about 40 min. Cannot complain since both of us have jobs, so we will deal with it! ;-)
Derek has been moved from #1 to #7 now back to #3 on the Liver transplant list...still praying for that to all come through.
Nikaya is getting ready for Kindergarten, she cannot wait until it starts...the other kids CAN wait.
In order to receive the bike she had to have 100% attendance and score well on her IRI (Idaho Reading Indicator) and ISAT (Idaho Standardized Acheivment Testing)...she did all of the above and received the reward one day with her Pappy and Mammy!
Kai, Demi and Nikaya all mugging for the camera
Sunday, May 17, 2009
He had a fever of 102.9* and was hospitalized due to dehydration and his liver enzyme counts being out of whack. On May 13th he had an ERCP, which allows the Docs to check on his bile ducts and the stint that they had placed in there to hold it open to give him the optimum use of this liver before possibly needing another one. They are not sure if it was the lack of antibiotics allowed for the procedure, the non sterile dye they use for the ERCP, or just God's timing, but Derek is in need of a transplant again.
For a while, Derek has been reactivated on the list, first being #9 with a MELD score of 5.8, then moved to #7 with a slightly higher score of 7.0. Today, Derek was moved to #1 with a MELD of 26! His MELD for the first transplant was 23. We now wait to hear word that a liver has come up, another family has had to make a hard decision, and that Derek is a match.
PLEASE, we ask that you pray for him, the other families that may be making this decision to donate, the Docs who will make the decision for which liver is his, transplant it and that the right one finally be implanted.
To be 29 yo and to have to go thru this again in such a short time is unimaginable, yet Derek keeps his spirits high and knows that it is for a purpose.
I will keep you updated! Thanks!
I had my dental appointment and was EXTREMELY high and got my molar pulled. All went well, I remember bits and pieces of the day, but not all of it. Nikaya had stayed home with daddy that day, since she wasn't feeling good and she laid on the couch with me to keep me company. She decided Spongebob was better viewed in her room since I snored to much and did not change the channel when needed...hehe
Kai had his visit to the Urologist. It had to be one of the single most hilarious times I have had in a while. When he arrived they gave him a cup with his name on it, to which he was excited for, thinking he was getting a snack with juice. When told he needed to pee in the cup he looked at all of us like we were insane and that was indeed disgusting. When he and I go into our little room, he proceeds to tell me he is big enough to do the job himself and goes into the bathroom. I peek thru the door in time to see him undo his britches, look at the cup, his pant and then how many hands he had and try to figure out how he was going to do it all. He then gets the brilliant idea to put the cup on the floor and aim from up high...hehehe I stop him in time to avoid a HUGE mess. Afterwards he and I sit in the little room that had WAY to many posters of men's anatomy on the wall. Kai is looking long and hard at one (which was the dissected view of the male anatomy), He finally exclaims " I know what that is!!!" I ask him "What is it?" to which he replies 'SQUIDWART!!" (the squid neighbor from Spongebob Squarepants) I never laughed so hard in my life. The Doc is thinking of renaming the poster in his honor. :-)
Life has been good, we have survived Nikaya having a temperature of 103.5*, my tooth hole causing pain (hoping for it not to be a dry socket and just allergies), and trying to get things done around here. I have some more news, but will put it all in seperate posts to keep from running you long on this one!
Monday, May 04, 2009
Kai and Nikaya have appointments tomorrow to start their immunizations-YUK! I have put it off and put it off and finally after much research decided to get it done. They will have to catch up, but do not require some of the shots that infants and toddlers do since they are older. They will probably have to go to the Doc about 1 time a month for shots until they are caught up, but it is for the best.
May 11th Kai has a visit with the urologist. This is a long time coming and will be gearing up to fix a problem he has which will probably require surgery. I will let you know when the surgery will be coming so you can all pray-it will be very much appreciated.
I have yet to get my tooth pulled but did see the doc. Right now I am living with infection in my jaw, but really the pain is getting worse and makes my head hurt all the time.
I told Curtis the infection is probably eating its way to my brain, which he replied "well, then it will starve" HAHA...everyone is a comedian. I am going to have to talk to them about what to do, but they have already told me they would drug me to the high heaves to pull it out and then we can go from there.
Met the foot Doc-he said my foot is C shaped with a bunion and bone spur, that is what is causing all the pain. I should watch how often I walk (I LOVE TO WALK) and watch the number of stairs I take (I have a 2 story house and climb stairs into the cage all the time...) . He wrapped my foot to help support it but I then had an allergic reaction to the tape-lost some skin and now I have a 'wookie foot' with adhesive that causes everything to stick to it from lint, cat hair to my own shoe. I will have to wait to get any kind of surgery done until I have money and go to Haiti to escort- I REFUSE to travel to Haiti in a boot that goes up to my knee. The surgery will go one of two ways-heal in 6-8 weeks with minimal crutch usage and smaller boot OR 8-10 weeks in a boot up to my knee and walker that requires a knee walker thing that I ped around on...FUN!
Heard from Haiti that they have the passport of the girl I will escort. Hoping all will go down so I can travel in June and then make plans to get my foot surgery completed...ah..more money needed...let it rain down cash from the sky cuz I don't have any!
Hope all is well with you out there, we are just living each day hoping to get to the next!
Thursday, April 23, 2009
Last night Curt and I went out for our 18 year anniversary! We went and had a nice (cheap) dinner at Applebee's and then went to see Jeff Dunham and Brian the Guitar Guy. They are comedians...Jeff D is the guy with the puppets like Achmed, Walter, Peanut and Jose Jalapeno; Guitar Guy, well...he is the guy with a guitar..hehe
We had a blast, the kids had fun here with Sam, our wonderful neighbor gal who watched all of them for us! Fun, FUN!!
Craptacular item #1:
Today we go do the dentist thing. They decide that the tooth that Demi has been working on for the last year (after her fall in the shower) is dead and root canal will not work...her body is reabsorbing the calcium and she must lose the tooth. They had her numb, but more had to be done so I held her hand as they numbed more and then chiseled that thing out of her, watched it crumble out of her mouth...permanent front tooth as well. :-(
Demi shed some tears, half out of fear of the procedure and half out of 'oh my gosh I wont have a tooth there now'. They have done the mold for a false tooth for her, it will be on a retainer type gizmo I guess;. should be done in 1-2 weeks..in the meantime the hole in her gums has to heal. Very sad and hard to watch.
Craptacular item #2:
I have MY appointment. I have made it 37 years without so much as a cavity. A couple of years ago I was naughty and chewing ice and cracked a tooth. I bypassed cavities and filings and went straight to ROOT CANAL...(insert scary music here) Now it appears that my wonderful root canal failed and I will have to have my tooth removed as well-molar on left side, but a BIG tooth none the less.
I am giving in today. I feel that when I am almost getting ahead I am shoved to the back to try and climb up again.
I try to exercise-my foot swells and my toe needs fixed=surgery...
My woman parts are not working right and need fixed=surgery...
My tooth was fixed and now infecting my jaw=surgery/removal...
I am so frustrated with life but try to remember that at least I have a life to complain about but I just want to sit in a hole, curl up in the fetal position and CRY.....
Sorry to be Debbie Downer....just been my day and It was MY day to have I guess.
Sunday, April 19, 2009
Got to see Derek for Easter, that was nice. He is looking good, pale even..hehe and seems to be doing OK considering his Bile Ducts are smaller than they should be. He is #9 on the list and will remain on it going up and down for the rest of his life, or until a new liver is transplanted. He is good with this and knows that there is nothing going on in his life the good Lord has not given him to deal with for a reason.
Work is good. Some days I am busy, others I play Mahjong while hitting my faceboook profile to chat..hehe Adoptions are still slow...I am still waiting for a certain little girl to be ready so I can bring her home. It has been 1 years since her family visited her and brought he sister home so they are ANXIOUS for her to be home as well. The little gal just got released from MOI so now once we have passport we can get Birth Parent redone and get her home. Another family is waiting to be released from IBESR. They have been there forever, but the dossier wasn't complete due to adding new documents. They are hoping now that all items are in Haiti they can get them to the IBESR (you must have an appointment) so they can get approval and get going.
Fights are good...2 coming up for me-May 1st at Qwest and May2nd-at O'Connor Field House. Excited to get back to the cage again and see some good fights.
Got alot done here in the house, cleaned closets, purged junk, donated clothes and cleaned real well in places that had not seen sun for a while due to bad weather...God is good!
Friday, March 27, 2009
This family is dear friends of mine. They have taken on 3 beautiful children from Haiti as well as have 3 bio children. They are currently adopting a teen boy from Haiti as well.
Now that the children are home, they find it impossible for one of the children to be safely kept in their family, due to reasons I wont post here due to my full knowledge of them.
I am asking for a couple of things from all of you out there.
1. To stop by the blog listed and see if this child would fit into YOUR family....
2. If the child is not meant to be in your family: PRAY, PRAY, PRAY
3. We are talking about a beautiful girl here who needs a loving home, NOT a group home, or further situations which she cannot control or be victimized in.
This family LOVES this child and only want the best for her, she was given to them by God for one reason or another. If it is in YOUR ability to have her in your home or you know of a family she could possibly be in, PLEASE contact them at their blog or contact me here or at firstname.lastname@example.org
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
It is so hard, his body isn't necessarily rejecting the liver, the new liver just isn't working. I hope and pray that this will be it, the new liver will be good for him and he can get back to whatever normal is going to be for him...pain free and not yellow.
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
Derek has been in and out of the hospital lately due to problems with his bile ducts in his new liver. They have stinted one, after he began turning yellow and his bilirubin count went to 8 again. After the stinting his bilirubin has dropped to about 5, and they have given him med's to thin his bile hoping that it will allow the stint to work and clear out his body of the bile that has leaked into his system from the damaged duct.
On Tuesday they had tested him again and though things are lower than before, they are thinking that Derek may have to do blood work and possibly look at the full work up to get on the list again, Yes, ANOTHER transplant is very likely in his future. We are hoping that the med's will work, that God will intervene and another new liver will not be needed...that the new one he just got will begin to work as needed.
Please, prayers are DESPERATELY needed as Derek hits this next trial in his young life.
Thursday, March 12, 2009
These two little sweeties are meeting their new mamma and daddy tomorrow!!!
After a L...O...N...G... wait, Geslande and Joravena will be uniting with their Forever Family on Friday by 2pm. I am so excited for all of them. Little J (the youngest) has been in the orphanage since she was about 2 weeks old, and she just turned 2 years old about 2 weeks ago....like I said-it has been a long process for them.
Pray for safety for the family (Aaron and Vanessa) as they travel to experience Haiti and all it has to show them while they get their girls.
Monday, March 09, 2009
Below are pics of when he was in. I saved most of the really morbid looking ones and kept them out...if you want to see some gnarly pics check out his caringbridge web site listed on the side of the page!
Derek 2 hours post-op
B-ball is over for the season so we have a few nights at home!! YEEHAW for that idea. I used to feel rushed having to work and do dinner etc afterwards, but B-ball season showed me that I do have more time in the evenings when B-ball is over...all about perspective I guess. :-P
Things here have been busy but good. Both of us are still employed, a big plus for this day and age, and enjoying our jobs as much as one can when you are working for a living.
Hard to believe that March 7th was 1 year since we lost my Bio dad Rick...His B-day is March 15th. Going to be hard to pass that milestone. I have had teary eyes, but have not let myself sit down and just remember and cry like I need too. If weather permits, I am planning on going with my Aunt Pam and Grandma to the cemetery on Saturday, his B-day, to decorate his new headstone (I will post a photo when I get there) and plant a Peonies bush, as well as just celebrate his B-day without him for the first time. I am anxious to see the new headstone since it just got finished. Weird thing to look forward to, but it gives some closure that I am craving but that I am fearful of at the same time. I will never forget him, but I feel like having a headstone honors him more to the outside world, kind of a 'Hello..I was here and meant something to someone' type of thing.
I am looking forward to sitting down and reading, blogging and getting caught up with the cyber world and friends that I have missed over the last month, as well as my usual workouts that have been sorely missed and much needed.
Sunday, February 08, 2009
Derek is doing well. He is home, walking, got his staples out this week (Friday, I believe)
We have enjoyed Basketball practices, games, cheer practices, performances, AWANA's etc...and will hopefully see an end to all the busy by the end of Feb. Of course, with 4 kids it is always busy, but less busy than NOW...hehe B-ball will be over, cheer will go back to 1 day a week and AWANA's is always up, but we are good with that.
Unfortunately due to the busy life schedule I had to drop out of Choir at church...probably for the best since I think I was the scariest Soprano ever..hehe If your voice changes during puberty, I am not sure what mine is doing now...?? I have been down to working out 2-3 days a week instead of 4...harder to lose weight but I am still working on it.
I hope all of you out there are doing well. I will see if I can post Derek's photos in the next couple of days!!
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
Derek has a long road ahead of him, possibly 1 month in the hospital, anti rejection drugs for life and trying not to get sick for a while...Derek has never been the 'normal' one so we will see how long all that goes on. :-P
I know that Derek is very thankful to his donor, as are all of us. Continue to pray for them as he now has a chance at life that we couldn't see before. You never want to imagine losing someone you love, but it was a reality for all of us for a while. Such a vibrant young man had to endure a test that no one should have to. I think he is overwhelmed by the amount of prayer he received during this trial in his life and I know he will never forget it, I know as his family, we will not.
We didn't get to Seattle for the surgery, but Curt is planning on going this weekend...even if he has to drive-he has to wrap his arms around him and squeeze to make it all better in his mind.
We did spend this time on the phone, email and facebook, myspace etc..updating everyone all over the U.S. what was going on and reading the Prayers coming thru from people who do not even know Derek....truly amazing. For those who believe there is no God, they can look at this and go suck eggs...hehe
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
Prayers are still coveted as he getting final touches, closed and recovery room time...all in all, 12 hour surgery will have been done.
Monday, January 19, 2009
1. The Surgical Teams need to be in place to 'harvest' the organs being donated and all must be done in a certain order. Heart, Lungs, Kidneys then Liver and Pancreas. It just takes time to gather all of the teams to their appropriate places etc.
2. This is the reason the Doctor thinks Derek is waiting-The family of the Donor is not yet ready to say goodbye.
The Dr. said the liver is a perfect match for Derek, in size, age etc. and in good condition/healthy. That being true, the person donating is probably a 15-40 year old male in good shape and relative health that passed before anyone knew he was going too and they are not ready to say goodbye. I cannot blame them, their loved one died and they must be given the time to come to terms with this before the hospital comes in to remove organs. I feel guilt as I sit here and pray for Derek to live; I have always known it means that someone else has to die, but it is very painful to think about what that family is going thru right now....our hope is their sadness...life is so unfair.
Continue to lift Derek up in prayers and also lift up the Donor and his family...they all need it right now.
Our prayers big time for the following:
1. That Derek pull thru this surgery well and liver does well inside him now.
2. That the family of the Donor is at peace, they have just lost someone they love and made a hard decision to help another human being whom they do not know...VERY unselfish!!
3. That the person who passed was Christian and is somewhere being blessed by the fact that they have helped a fellow human being in their last moments!
Saturday, January 17, 2009
As I said before, we are entering the time of Basketball with Cheer continuing and School, Work and life in general...we pray the good Lord puts enough hours in the day for us!
Tonight we had Curt's 20 Year High School Reunion. WOW, 20 years....can you believe it? We met several of his class, about 40-50 students with spouses, at the Old Spaghetti Factory. Had a great dinner (LOVE that the place has a Gluten Free menu for me!) and had a great time catching up with everyone.
I know many of the people as well, since his high school had about 150 students graduate in '88 and he and I were High School sweethearts...different schools..him 2 years older than me in grades, but schools close in proximity none the less.
WE had to change our plans late in the game since our planned babysitter couldn't do it and we had to call in reinforcements....THANKS PEGGY AND JOHN FOR TAKING THE MONSTERS FOR US TONIGHT!!! It is often hard to find someone who will watch 4 kids, let alone 4 kids on short notice..hehe
Today I managed to complete my CPR-HCP (Health Care Provider) course and will take an Advanced First Aid next (thought this one was it but I was wrong..never happened before..hehe) I turned in my application for my Second's License (Cut-Man approval for Cage Medic) to the State on Friday. Hope to hear back on that soon as well.
Jen and I are headed to Lewiston in Feb to work some fights at the Casino up there...finally get to meet our Head Cut Man Lawrence...should be a blast!
All is well on the home front.
Derek still waits for a Liver (but thank the Lord he is on the list!) and prayers are always coveted to keep him healthy until one comes available.
Monday, January 12, 2009
This week begins basketball for 2 boys, Hunter on Tuesday and Thursday and Kai on Wednesday); regular cheer for Demi on Saturday and AWANA for all on Wednesday (minus Kai if B-ball stays on Wed). Saturdays will also include games for the boys..both should be in the same place, but different times.
Work is all week, working out is all week (when I can now fit it in...hehe) and Curtis started a new class on Mondays so I am single mom until 10:30pm for the next 12 weeks.
I love and despise these times when I am not sure if I am coming or going. I came home and got so much done with the house (actually I straightened it so it appeared that it was only 'lived in' as opposed to filthy..hehe) I MUST do this for my OCD to decide that life is in order so I can kinda function...now off to read so I can unwind for bed!
Sunday, January 11, 2009
From what I understand, now he has a beeper and cannot be more than 1 hour away from the hospital. When a Liver comes in, he and the patient listed at #1 get a page and both must go to the Hospital. I believe that they then test both to make sure they are not ill, have any underlying conditions etc and then if #1 is sick, the liver is his. If #1 receives the Liver, Derek moves to #1.
All in all, Derek is feeling pretty craptacular right now and is showing signs of Advance Liver Disease. His MELD score (Model for End Stage Liver Disease) was 21 on Dec. 29th, 2008 and is now already 23...only a couple of weeks later, which is a 2 point rise in a short time...not good.
Continue prayer as Derek and the patient listed at #1 wait to hear they have an acceptable donor and a transplant can be completed!
Monday, January 05, 2009
Friday night we went to Shorty's for a benefit being put on for Tyson that was hosted by Jens Pulver from the UFC/ECW. Jens is a great guy who is friendly with the fans and took pictures and gave out his autograph (yeah, I got one...hehe) He even signed one guys fake leg for him! ;-)