Saturday, March 29, 2008

Disturbed - Prayer

This song has meant a lot to me as of late. Brought me to tears today.. Take a listen! I know the lead singer looks daunting, but give him a chance...hehe
This song represents daily life and what we endure everyday.. .loss of our loved ones, salvation, and evil that is ever present. I wish that I could obliterate it all the way he does with a scream and flash of light!

Another dream that will never come true
Just to compliment your sorrow
Another life that I've taken from you
A gift to add on to your pain and suffering
Another truth you can never believe
Has crippled you completely
All the cries you're beginning to hear
Trapped in your mind, and the sound is deafening

Let me enlighten you
This is the way I pray

Livin just isn't hard enough
Burn me alive inside
Living my life's not hard enough
Take everything away

Another nightmare about to come true
Will manifest tomorrow
Another love that I've taken from you
Lost in time, on the edge of suffering
Another taste of the evil I breed
Will level you completely
Bring to life everything that you fear
Live in the dark, and the world is threatening

Let me enlighten you
This is the way I pray

Livin just isn't hard enough
Burn me alive inside
Living my life's not hard enough
Take everything away

Return to me, return to me, return to me, turn to me, leave me no one
Turn to me, return to me, return to me, turn to me, cast aside
Return to me, return to me, return to me, turn to me, leave me no one
Turn to me, return to me, return to me, you make me turn away

Livin just isn't hard enough
Burn me alive inside
Living my life's not hard enough
They take everything from you

Livin just isn't hard enough
Burn me alive inside
Living my life's not hard enough
Take everything away

Monday, March 24, 2008

I Think I Saw This in Haiti.....

Funny Pictures

Finshing the Haiti Trip

We were excited to be able to go to the Pension, since I was not able to take my hubby when we picked up our kids due to violence and kidnapping. We arrived at the Baptist seminary without much fanfare and began our walk down the Bolosse street to the O's gate. The hill is steep, rocky and well traveled and can sometimes be slick. Low and behold, as we walked, the next thing I know I am flat on my back in the road. My sandals had slid on a rock and I was sprawled out in the road with Haitian men, women and children laughing at me (such a kind and loving people sometimes). Samuel and the Adoptive Dad "S", helped me up quickly. I was laughing so hard I didn't think I could get up. They were concerned since I had fallen flat and my head had bounced on the street about twice. My right elbow was scrapped but I didn't feel any bumps on my head or see any blood...good thing. All I could think about was 'if I have a concussion I want to go to Lori or Licia or Dr. Jen..NO ONE ELSE!!!' hehe (my blog links I like..Haiti Nurse for Life and Dr. Jen in Haiti)
We continued the walk and I did well. It wasn't until later that the massive headache would appear...oy vey!
The kids looked great and the school age kids were all in class in their little cute. I passed out suckers to them and visited the kids on all the levels giving suckers the whole way. The baby and toddler rooms were a buzz of activity. Kids became my human tails as I drug many kids around with me while visiting. I held all of the young kids I am helping place and gave suckers to them even if they were not old enough to have them...just to give them a lick or two. I took pictures of kids in the cribs and played with many of the ones roaming. One little boy would wail and cry any time I got near his bed. If I tried to take a pic of him he would wail...if I walked by he would was very comical.
We visited and played for about 2 hours and then headed off to the office to get work done.
Back at the office (NLL) I was able to ask questions of everyones papers and processes. I saw how frustrated with the process the NLL staff is and how they wish things would un-constipate so the kids could go home. They had cheat sheets on the wall to look at so I could find where a familie papers were and what each sheet meant...In MOI, Out of MOI, In IBESR, Out of IBESR..etc..great system, I am glad they have decided to use it.
I sent and answered emails while we waited for the Visa to be processed and to go back to the Guest House.
Once the Visa was in, we left for the day to go back up to Petionville.
Monday night was uneventful. I watched some of Pitch Black, Poseidon Adventure, and The patriot in Creole...very interesting. hehe

Tuesday: We chose to stay at the Guest House this day with hopes of going to the Baptist mission. I am glad we stayed because when I woke up I felt like I had been hit by a truck. The previous days fall was written all over my body in muscle aches and bruises...Curtis will never let me go to Haiti alone if I come home bruised and broken....bring on the bubble wrap.
We spent the day playing with the kids (L from the other family and B the little boy I was helping bring home) We toured the Guest house from top to bottom climbing up to the roof to see the cisterns and view to the basement where the staff lives. 'M' the mom from the other family, and I toured the new building behind the guest house. It has always been Dr. B's dreams of finishing it and bringing the NLL kids to live there as the orphanage. He said by July when the school year is over, the NLL kids will be at home in Petionville with him! I am so glad to hear that this part of his dream will be coming to fruition....better environment and more space for the kids and further away from the city. For now, HFC will stay in Bolosse. He also hopes that by July the pool will be completed and they can fill up the Guest house with Guests and the elderly who want a nice place to live. I look forward to going back again and seeing how much the clientele has grown.

Tuesday night we played volleyball with Dr. B and staff...Something that he likes to do everyday. I told them prior to the game that I sucked when it came to sports, but he insisted. Well, the Adoptive Dad from the other family 'R', me, the staff were all against Dr. B. We lost....not unusual, but I know I didn't help any..hehe
When I went up to check on 'S' the adoptive dad I came with, he was putting his son to sleep. I was on the upper level of the Guest House and Dr. B was making a deal with 'R'..."if you guys win 5 games against me 'L' can go home with you when you leave....of course that would be about 18 months early. 'R' thought it sounded like a great deal so he hollers "hey, 'M', keep LeAnne up there with you!" hehe I hollered back "'R', I would be offended if that were not so true!" Even without me they only won 1 game out of 5. :-(
'S' was able to go down and play some games as well...great fun was had by all.

Wednesday: We had to rise early on Wednesday to have breakfast by 5:30am and leave Petionville by 6am to make the airport by 7am. It isn't that far away, but with the roads and traffic an early departure is always needed. Ride to the airport was uneventful. We bid goodbye to the other family and wished them well as they were leaving Thursday morning. Said goodbye to Lamarre, our driver, and set off for the inner airport. Flights were delayed some, but nothing major. Miami was great and the flight back was good. Little 'B' did wonderful. He is such a sweetheart. It was hard keeping my distance since I did not want him to be confused as to who his mommy was. I got a lot of looks (like I was some neglectful mom) when I didn't attend to him quickly and only minorly comforted him until 'S' could get to him so they could bond well. As long as WE knew what I was doing, I was good with it...stare all ya want people... :-)
We had a nice dinner and introduced 'B' to the straw...he had no idea how to suck and was waiting for it to pour in his mouth. His dad offered him Mac-n-Cheese and 'B;, not wanting to get his hands dirty grabbed the plate and dug in like dog would do...face first. Cracked both of us up. After 'B' fell asleep I had my first babysitting job as Dad 'S' had laundry to do...funtimes....B is an absolute doll!

Thursday: We flew back to Seattle and parted ways. I waved bye bye to them as they boarded and headed for my gate. Got home to a tired and grateful hubby who managed 4kids, a house, 3 dogs, 3 cats, a cheer leading performance, a Science Fair and work all in one week...WHAT A MAN!!! HE SAYS HE AGED 20 YEARS IN THAT ONE WEEK! HEHEHE
I am glad to be home but miss Haiti. I always do. It amazes me how a place so full of sadness and poverty can hold such beauty and are never closer to God than when you are in Haiti..I truly believe that.

Sunday, March 23, 2008

First Haiti Post....More to Come

I thought I would begin the blog-fest that I will be having in the next few days..hehe Once you come home from Haiti you need to take time to 'process' all you did, see, experienced before you can talk about it. Once I get going, my mind will race and I will have to spread out the posts or I will write a novel for you to we begin

Sat. I flew to Seattle and met the Adoptive dad so we could fly to Miami and connect to Haiti. We took a 10:30pm red eye flight...not a 100% good idea...We had a drunk man behind us that seemed to holler every time I would actually being to doze off. I wish someone would have tasered him..he needed it.
We arrived in Miami without incident (and without sleep as well) to make our connecting flight to Haiti.

Sun: We arrived in Haiti by 12:30pm...a little late but with all the luggage making it thru...YEAH. We almost made it to the door of the airport before customs decided they wanted to see what I was bringing in the computer boxes. Lesson for this trip, next time you take computers, put them in a HUGE duffel bag so they can enter unnoticed. :-)
Customs decided that I needed to pay a 'Tax' on the items...I called Dr. B and he told me to leave the computers at the airport, only to change his mind once we had already begun leaving the airport with Samuel. We went back to the airport to barter with customs, and offer them about $75 than they asked for. After a lot of himming and hawing, they relented allowing me to take the computers out.
In the meantime, we had left the Dad, his son and another little boy in the car to wait. I think the dad was pretty freaked out even though I promised him he would be ok...scary for the first time visitor.
We got back into the car and I held the other little boy "L" as we we headed to the Guest House. Little L decided that he needed to Vomi....on second time in Haiti and 2nd. time vomited on by a child that wasn't mine...hehe

We were headed up Delmas when we saw people running around screaming. We then saw a person laying in the road. I told Samuel, our driver/guard that I was going to go help. When I ran tot he scene, it was chaos. A little girl, about 8years old was laying in a pool of blood. Men were hollering for help, women were grabbing her arm and letting it flop to show her unconscious/deceased state and then yelling to the sky..I felt for a pulse and felt nothing. Her little eyes were open, her lips were blue and she was bleeding quite a bit. A man, I assume her father, came running asking if I had a car to take her in.
(side note) I have been to Haiti 4 times, I was still unsure of the ambulance system, but felt sure that the police would come and the girl would be transported correctly to the hospital...this was not the case.)
I was told by a man who was a Dr. on the scene, that an ambulance would take about 2-3 hours to get to her and get to the much for the Golden hour of Emergency care.)
A man pulled up with a truck and the one I assume was family, picked the girl up and loaded her into he back of the truck to take her to help....trip, not off to a good start. I let a few tears go for the little girl I did not know, but who will probably pass due to lack of care in a 5th world sad.
We get back in the car only to have it break down about 2 Miles from the accident scene....time to call in reinforcements....Samuel's dad to the rescue.
We made it to the Guest House fine after that, no worse for the wear, but with a possibl traumatized Adoptive dad...hehe

Monday: We had Visa appointment today. Arrived at Consulate only to have them tell us they were not sure we actually had an appointment.....good thing Adoptive Mom had put copy of email in the bag...Especially after I warned her that they could be difficult there. Visa appointment went well. We visited with the new Vice Counsel and her Assistant and waited to be told we were done and the Visa would be ready later in the day.
We met a mom who has been in the process of adopting for over 3 years now, has waited for her Visa since September 2007 and is undergoing a third Fraud investigation...meetings with Birth families etc. to assure the Consulate that the children were not being trafficked. What a nice gal, I felt so bad for her, being a single mom and going thru all of this alone...she is a strong gal. Her situation puts a lot of perspective on what adoption could be like....
By 2pm Visa was in Hand!!! Praise God he came thru again! We spent the rest of the afternoon in the office and at the orphanage/Pension with the kids.....

More tomorrow

Friday, March 14, 2008

I'm Leaving On a Jet Plane....

Well, I have so much to say and talk about and no time to do it.
I am leaving Sat. at 8pm for Haiti. I will be there until Thursday pm when I arrive back home to start Spring Break with my kids and hubby. Nice get away, see family in Haiti and get to know one of my Adoptive Dads...get to see his face the first time he sees his son..NOTHING BETTER! :-P
I will more than likely have blog-o-ria when I get back with so many things to say, show you with pic's to post and talk about..but give me the week or so to let is all sink in! Blessings to everyone out there!

Wednesday, March 12, 2008

Tears in Heaven

To Rick-We Love you and will miss you forever and ever!

Monday, March 10, 2008

My Dad's Obit....

Richard Perryman II

Richard L. Perryman II, 53, of Caldwell, entered into rest on Friday, March 7, 2008, at home of natural causes.
Viewing will be from 12:00 to 1:30 P.M. on Thursday, March 13, 2008. Funeral service will follow at 1:30 P.M. on Thursday, March 13th, at Flahiff Funeral Chapel, Caldwell. Interment will follow at Wilder Cemetery, Wilder, Idaho.
Richard L. Perryman II, was born March 15, 1954 to Richard L. (Cotton) and Mary in Soap Lake, WA. He graduated from Caldwell High School in 1972. Rick was married at a young age to Patsy Hinkle, they had a daughter LeAnne Kovick. They later divorced.
Rick worked in construction with his father for many years. He later worked with computers before he became disabled. He also married Debbie Garcia and they had two children Richard III and Rachel and later divorced.
Rick enjoyed music, playing the guitar, and doing magic tricks.
He is survived by his mother Mary Perryman of Caldwell, daughter Leanne and Curt Kovick of Caldwell, son Richard III and daughter Rachel Perryman of CA and four grandchildren. A brother Garry, sister Pam Garner and his brother-in-law Ron Garner who he thought of as a brother and many nieces and nephews. He is preceded in death by his father, and sister Cheryl. He will be greatly missed for his loving and caring manner.
Published in the Idaho Press Tribune on 3/9/2008.
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Sunday, March 09, 2008

Church Outburts...

Since Friday, my emotions have been a bundle of so close to the other that they are hard to tell apart.
Today I decided to go ahead and attend Church. I didn't know if I wanted to go, but knew in my heart that I really needed to. Right before we left Pastor Geoff called me saying he had read the obit. in the paper and that he was sorry to hear about my loss and that he and many of the other members wanted to hug our necks when we arrived today. They were all amazing to see and made us feel very happy to have gone.
Well, today was Communion. Usually when they pass the flat bread wafer I do not eat it since it is unleavened wheat bread and I have Celiac. I usually take the juice though and just pray during the 'body' part of the ritual. Curtis was sitting next to me and took his bread and was sitting prayerfully. He was kind of fiddling with it spinning it in his fingers as he thought and reflected about life. Low and behold..that turkey dropped his bread on the floor....made a weird face and looked around to see if anyone had noticed. He bent over picked it up and looked at it with a face that showed what he was thinking 'is it safe to eat? was on the floor...who all has walked on this floor? I can't throw it away, it signifies the body of Christ'...I saw all of this and something hit me inside....a giggle, a cry, a desire to stand up and scream with laughter and sadness that would make everyone think I was insane. I hurried and turned away from him so I wouldn't see his face...I began to have tears run down my face and a giggle and cry were trying desperatley to escape. I turned into a pile of crying and giggling mess right before everyone. The more I tried to keep it in, the more it wanted to come out. I was succesfull (mostly) but Curtis looked at me and asked if I was ok and then noticed I was giggleing AND crying. He looked so perplexed that this didnt help matters either....oy vey....what a day. Once we were leaving he people came up and greeted us with was nice. No one mentioned my weirdness...maybe out of kindness, I am pretty sure that they all now think I am insane. :-)

Friday, March 07, 2008

Goodbye Rick-I love and Miss You - RIP

I knew that this day would come...the day I lost one of my parents. I always figured it would be my Bio. dad Rick first, he has been ill, an addict and suffered with Bi-Polar for years. Today was the day.
I got up this morning and was doing my morning workout when the phone rang. I saw it was my grandma's number so I figured I would call her back since it was probably Rick (my Dad) and he and I would chat and I would get thrown off my workout. I continued my workout for another ten minutes and decided to take a shower. The phone rang was my grandma's number again...hmmm...he is really eager to talk to me. I answered and it was my Aunt Pam. She told me that my dad was gone and I needed to come to the house right away.

When I managed to get there..unshowered but teeth brushed, hair combed and Nikaya safely with Papa until Daddy picked her up, the Coroner and Funeral Home were leaving with him. From what the Coroner believes, he sat up to get out of bed about 1am this morning and had a massive heart attack and died instantly. My grandmother found him this morning and feels so responsible for not checking on him sooner, what could she have done differently....things that you drive yourself crazy with when someone you love dies suddenly. It appears that there was nothing that could have been done, even if a Doctor was sitting bedside with him when it happened.

I was so thankful that his passing was natural, that is was not by his own hand...this is something that has been attempted many times in the past and was a deep fear of mine, that he would 'try' to kill himself and actually complete the task me that is harder to take than a natural death, even at the age of 53 years old. In this instant I can make some sense of it, that even though he was young, he passed the way I would like to-quick and pretty painless-not by his own hand or living a life hooked to a machine slowly going in and out of pain....

I will remember the good times and bad times, how far he and I have come in our lives as Father and Daughter and mostly-Friends...I will be sad for my children because they have lost a grandpa, but have the knowledge that he is pain free and happy now that he is at rest...he is with Great Grandpa Cotton, his father, a place that he longed to be ever since Grandpa we too must live without our father.

I feel alot for my brother Richard and Sister Rachel. They are far away and have not gotten to know Rick the way I have. I hope that some day in their life they will learn to look at his memories with happiness and praise for the time we had with him, and not only bad times and feelings of abandonment. He loved all of us the best he could, with all of his heart and soul...I hope I can make them understand him that way as well.

Tuesday, March 04, 2008

The 'Little' Things.....

As you might know the head of a company survived 9/11 because his son started kindergarten.

Another fellow was alive because it was his turn to bring donuts.

One woman was late because of being stuck on the NJ Turnpike because of an auto accident.

One of them missed his bus.

One spilled food on her clothes and had to take time to change.

One's car wouldn't start.

One went back to answer the telephone.

One had a child that dawdled and didn't get ready as soon as he should have.

One couldn't get a taxi.

The one that struck me was the man who put on a new pair of shoes that morning, took the various means to get to work but before he got there he developed a blister on his foot. He stopped at a drugstore to buy a Band-Aid, that is why he is alive today!

Now, when I am stuck in traffic, miss an elevator, turn back to answer a ringing telephone, all the little things that annoy me.....I think to myself, this is exactly where God wants me to be at this very moment.

Next time your morning seems to be going wrong; the children are slow getting dressed, you can't seem to find the car keys, you hit every traffic light....don't get mad or frustrated: God is at work watching over you.


Haiti-Image of Fear is a Myth

Found this on Bryn's Blog. It is nice to know that Haiti is getting some press that finally reveals facts that prove it is not as bad as everyone thinks. The only time Haiti makes the news is to report that someone has been kidnapped or that Haiti made the Top 10 World's Most Dangerous Destinations (Forbes Magazine) akin with Somalia, Iraq and Afghanistan....finally, a rebuttal from The Washington Times!!!

BRIEFING: Haiti's image of fear 'a big myth' to some
By Reed Lindsay
March 4, 2008


U.N. peacekeepers in Haiti say they are battling an image of fear that is keeping the Caribbean nation mired in hunger and disease, with little hope of attracting foreign visitors and investment.
Forbes magazine has named Haiti one of the world's 10 most dangerous destinations, along with Iraq, Afghanistan and Somalia.

The Associated Press has called Port-au-Prince the kidnapping capital of the Americas.
The U.S. government maintains a perpetual travel warning on Haiti, while diplomats, journalists and aid workers spend much of their time holed up in fortified hotels.

The image stems largely from two violent years after the 2004 U.S. ouster of President Jean-Bertrand Aristide when the slums of Port-au-Prince erupted in gunbattles between gangs, Haitian police and U.N. peacekeepers, plus a wave of kidnappings.

Today, Haiti's reputation is undeserved, say security analysts and officials from the U.N. peacekeeping mission. They argue that Haiti is no more violent than any other Latin American country.

"It's a big myth," said Fred Blaise, spokesman for the U.N. police force in Haiti. "Port-au-Prince is no more dangerous than any big city. You can go to New York and get pickpocketed and held at gunpoint."

Reliable statistics are scarce in Haiti, but U.N. data indicate that the country could be among the safest in the region.

The U.N. peacekeeping mission recorded 487 homicides in Haiti last year, or about 5.6 per 100,000 people.

A U.N.-World Bank study last year estimated the Caribbean's average homicide rate at 30 per 100,000, with Jamaica registering nearly nine times as many — 49 homicides per 100,000 people — as those recorded by the United Nations in Haiti.

In 2006, the neighboring Dominican Republic notched more than four times more homicides per capita than those registered in Haiti: 23.6 per 100,000, according to the Central American Observatory on Violence.

Even the United States would appear to have a higher homicide rate: 5.7 per 100,000 in 2006, according to the U.S. Justice Department.

"There is not a large amount of violence [in Haiti]," said Gen. Jose Elito Carvalho Siquiera, the former Brazilian commander of the U.N. military force in Haiti. "If you compare the levels of poverty here with those of Sao Paolo [Brazil] or other cities, there is more violence there than here."

The U.N. peacekeeping mission, known as Minustah, arrived in Haiti in June 2004, three months after U.S. troops whisked Mr. Aristide into exile amid an armed rebellion.

The U.S.-backed interim government then waged a campaign against Mr. Aristide's supporters, igniting two years of gunfights in Port-au-Prince's slums.

A wave of kidnappings also swept panic through the capital. From 2005 until 2006, Minustah registered 1,356 kidnappings.

Kidnappings have become common in many Latin American countries, but were rare in Haiti before Mr. Aristide's ouster.

"The kidnappings shocked everyone because they hadn't happened in the past," said Mr. Blaise, the U.N. police spokesman. "Still, when you compare the number of kidnappings here, I don't think it's more than anywhere else."

Security improved markedly last year. The number of kidnappings dropped by nearly 70 percent, and the U.N. peacekeeping mission wrested control of Port-au-Prince's battle-torn slums from armed groups.

President Rene Preval, elected in a landslide in February 2006, has mollified Haiti's political opposition.

Gunshots are now seldom heard in Port-au-Prince. Violent crime in the countryside has always been rare. Attacks on foreigners are few and far between, and in recent months American Airlines flights from Miami to the capital have been packed with Christian missionaries and aid workers.

Even when the instability was at its peak, observers say, violence usually was limited to a few Port-au-Prince slums.

"If you compare Haiti to Iraq, to Afghanistan, to Rwanda, we don't even appear on the same scale," said Patrick Elie, who heads a government commission studying the creation of a new security force.

"We've had a tumultuous history, that is true, one characterized by political instability," said Mr. Elie. "But except for the war that we had to wage to obtain our freedom and independence from the French, Haiti has never known a level of violence comparable to that which has been waged in Europe, in America and the European countries in Africa and Asia. Our country has been one of the least violent."

Viva Rio, a Brazilian-based violence reduction group that came to Haiti at the request of the U.N. mission's disarmament program, has found Port-au-Prince's armed groups more receptive than those in Rio de Janeiro's slums.

Last March, the organization persuaded warring gangs in Bel Air and neighboring downtown slums to sign a peace treaty, in which they swore to abstain from violence in exchange for youth scholarships. Since then, the area has been peaceful.

"This would be unthinkable in Rio," said Rubem Cesar Fernandes, Viva Rio's director.

The humanitarian organization Doctors Without Borders classified the "raging violence" in Port-
au-Prince as one of the world's 10 most underreported stories in 2006. Even then, only one of every 10 patients at its trauma hospital was the victim of a bullet wound. Most had been injured in car crashes and domestic accidents.

"It's not the insecurity, not the bullets, not the conflict between gangs and police," said Yann Libessart, the former head of the Doctors Without Borders mission. "What's killing people in Haiti is not being able to give birth to a baby in a hospital or not having access to medical care because they don't have enough money to pay."

While the international community has made security the priority, the dominant concern for most poor Haitians is the rising cost of food. The prices of staples such as rice and beans have nearly doubled in the past three years, a devastating trend in a country where about 80 percent of the population earns less than $2 a day.

"Our problem isn't violence," said Yvner Meneide, an artisan living in downtown Port-au-Prince.

"If we were violent, we would organize demonstrations every day, we would be destroying things. But the Haitian people are very moderate. We might be hungry, but we are calm."

Saturday, March 01, 2008

Snowball - Another One Bites The Dust

This is so freakin' hilarious! ENJOY!!!