Wednesday, December 21, 2011

My Family

This is a Picture of our Family on 12-31-10. All of us tired but smiling. Hoping for a repeat this New Year!

As the new year approaches I think of so many blessings, struggles, changes that we have had through out the year. Boo is now a full fledged Teen/ Young Man.....Roo is becoming her own Teen/Young Woman, C-Man is entering 11 and Mitch will be 8 soon. We have not had any new children come home in 5 years. Hard to imagine that 5 whole years has passed since C-Man and Mitch arrived, it seems like they have always been here.

All 4 kids have bonded well, grown tremendously and are healthy inside and out. Not that they are without issues, but they all know that




Monday, November 14, 2011

Broken Hearted

As a parent I have always wanted to shield my children from any heartbreak, bad moments, bullies and the like. Lately, I have seen that it is IMPOSSIBLE to do this, and may not be the best for the child in the long run...although it is NOT easy to see your child hurt, it is something they need to experience to grow as a person.
Case in point:
Mitch has a girl at school that is mean to her. Now, if you know Mitch, you know that it is hard to NOT like her...she is friendly, kind and loving to everyone. She sees no enemies and truly wants the world to be the perfect place it should be. We have explained to Mitch that this is not so, and that there will be mean people all over the world...just to avoid them if possible and live her life the best she can. A mother bear moment took a hold of me when Mitch came home and told me that this girl told her 'she hated Mitch and would stab her in the head and heart until she died'. Yeah, NOT HAPPENING you little punk-ette! Mitch did the right thing by telling the Teacher, Principal and us, and anyone who would listen. Now the school is aware but the Principal wants this girl to 'confess' what she said (although 4 other girls have come forward with the same info) so she can adequately punish the girl. I have made it known that THIS is NOT going to matter, that is that child says this to my kid again, I will call the cops! Lesson learned....

Boo is having his teen issues...Oy Vey ;-P Boo decided to try out for Basketball. Very proud of him for trying! His High School is big, over 110 boys tried out for Bball and only 14 spots per team (Varsity, JV, Frosh) were avail. Some of those were taken due to returning players....after 2 days of try outs, he did not make it. To see your son stand there and NOT be chosen made my tummy hurt. I wanted to kick the Coach and ask him why my son was not picked, he was just as good as other boys....according to my hubby, THIS would have been embarrassing to Boo, so I did NOT do it. hehe
Boo was bummed, but I know he will recover. He knows what he needs to work on and hopefully will try out again next year. I however, still want to kick someone.....

I wish I could take all the hurts, the brokenness my children see and experience....I know it cannot be done, and probably should not be done....however, this does not make it easier.

Friday, October 28, 2011

On The D.L.

I have been staying off my blog and staying Down Low....trying to keep things inside and work thru them...not sure it is helping. I do not like to write things that could hurt others feelings so I tend to bottle them up until my chest hurts-physically hurts....not good.

Just say a few prayers for me-that I can work thru extended family issues, that may all be me and in my mind, but may also not be just me and my mind.

Hurtful things have been said and done and I have let them fester without saying things to the offenders...need to rectify this with God and myself so I do not hurt the people that I do LOVE, but often times do not LIKE 100% of the time. Need to remember, we are all but humans

Tuesday, October 11, 2011

Two Adults, One House, No Fun....

Over at Jamie wrote about loving our husbands and our children. I enjoyed her post and read it feeling quite overwhelmed and guilty. Curt and I do NOT make time for Date Nights, not once a week, not once a month and we barely squeak by with once a year (I think it usually ends up being his Companies Christmas Party). I am ashamed to say that our children have taken over our lives. :-(

I guess it isn't bad to be involved in your children's lives, but I think we have been overrun with them and their activities...we have become two adults just living in the same home.
We commented to each other the other night (a rare stop and talk to each other moment) that we each felt in a rut...Football x 2, Cheer x 2, AWANA's x 4 kids goes on and on. We both feel that we spend so much time running from activity to activity, barely meeting in bed at a late bed time, that we never get to enjoy each others company or just 'be'.

I feel we have begun surviving life, not living it.

It has been 4 years or more since we have gone camping....a vacation-YEAH RIGHT! I cannot remember one, alone or with our children.

I hope this changes once Football is over...that we can make it a PRIORITY to spend time with just remember that we should not and can not wait until the kids are grown to do this. It must be important, to be taught to our children that we are as important to ourselves and each other as they are to us. Hopefully in doing this, we will cement their worth in themselves and future spouses.

Wednesday, September 28, 2011

Daily Life-Every day I'm Shuffling

Daily life around here has been going crazy-what is new?? My new Calendar reminder on my phone plays the funky LMFAO tune-'Everyday I'm Shuffling', definitely fits!!!

On a sad note, we lost our dear neighbor, Isabel Pena. Isabel was a GREAT lady. She made tamales every Christmas and always had special treats for the kids in the cul-de-sac every Halloween. The kids would always go over and take her mail in when the weather was bad and scoop her sidewalk when it snowed. We will miss you Isabel- your smile, your kindness, your belief that the Saints were with you every minute of every day, your ornery giggle that you gave while hiding your mouth and shrugging your shoulders while we talked about the crazy neighbors...RIP!

Football x 1.5 boys is in full swing (I will explain the .5 in a minute) and Cheer x 2 is in full swing.

.5 Football=Well, about 3 weeks into football, and before the first game, Boo was completing 2 a days and working his fanny off..he made it to Starting Running Back for the Freshman Team...he.was.STOKED!
He came home one day complaining that he had 'jammed' his left pinkie finger, and could I ice it for him. After examining it, I felt that more damage was done than 'jamming' but what do I know....I was an EMT and Instructor, but when I talk to him I am just 'mom'. We iced and buddy tape for almost 2 moving it and checking it every day, him telling me "it was fine and did not quit making a big deal about nothing". One day, almost 2 weeks later, he comes to me and says "mom, my finger REALLY hurts and every time you move it to check it, frankly it makes me want to vomit!" Ok...into the doc we go-several x-rays and a Hand Specialist later, we have a severely broken pinkie that cracked into the knuckle and growth plate; surgery is a MUST.
Fast forward now to today, surgery was done Sept. 12 and required 2 pins into his knuckle, pinkie is healing and we are still waiting to be cleared for play in, maybe we will just be ready for Basketball when that season starts...haha
C-Man will be wrapping up his first season of Tackle on Oct. 8th...just in time to begin the newly formatted Basketball League our School District puts on. Not sure how I feel about it, since we are going away from 'Teams' and just having 'Clinics' on Saturdays for a couple of hrs. with 2-3 Saturdays being 'Game days'. Will definitely free up the week nights, which have been crammed with activities for 2 months now...YEAH!!!!!!

Cheer will begin Competition Season and our first one requires the girls and I to travel to a small town in the upper part of the state-great weekend getaway (I tell myself this and if it is a lie, don't remind me..)

If we were not busy enough, we have a new kitten, Gimli. Gimli's mama kitty is a wild stray at work. She had 3 kittens and while moving them, abandoned Gimli in the conex box for 2 days. After 2 days, the guys were sure mama was not coming back so they brought the 2.5-3 week old, hungry and matted kitten to I am mama. Bottle feedings and washing her to get her to go potty has taken me back to the old days of Squirrel rehabbing, but it has been great. Daily Gimli goes to work with me and either sleeps in a cat carrier (or on the desk if she is whiny..ha) Rich people have purse dogs, I have a purse cat!

Tuesday, September 13, 2011

And The Tax Saga Continues

Alright, I didn't want to come here and complain, but here I am...We originally submitted out Taxes for 2010 in February 2011. New laws had taken affect for Adoptive Families, making the 'credit' you received towards your adoption expenses as completely REFUNDABLE. What happened before, is that when we adopted C-Man & Mitch, we received an Adoption Credit on our taxes that was carried over for up to 5 years. This year was the last year for us to claim our adoption tax credit, and next year our taxes will be completed like 'normal' people. ;-P
Out of many of the people I have spoken to, our refund amount is TINY..not to us, but to many. However, we are moving at a snails pace for the actual refund. We have received letters stating the IRS needed more info from us, to assure we were not defrauding them out of the money we say is owed to us, and that the children are actually people, and not pets I guess. We have sent all our paperwork that is required, once with the original packet in February and once again in April. Now, get this: we received a letter from the IRS, stating that we are "DENIED SAID REFUND DUE TO TRYING TO CLAIM REFUND ON OUR BIOLOGICAL CHILDREN"...really? Did you JUST put THAT in writing?
ANYONE that has ever seen my family KNOWS the children are adopted-it could be the extreme height of our Roo, The afro of our Boo, or possibly the fact that C-Man and Mitch came home when they were 5.5 years & 2yr 7mo...I don't know, but I WANT, NEED to know how it is POSSIBLE for a woman to give birth to a 5.5 year old and a almost 3 yo Simultaneously......
I asked today if it was possible to send a photo with my Appeal Letter, so they can see our smiling faces and see some of the 'differences' that make up our family unit. Proud to be in a Country where Idiots can have such a powerful job! FRUSTRATION at its peak!

Thursday, August 25, 2011

Stormin' Norman...RIP

Yesterday was a HARD day for our family. We lost our beloved Stormin Norman Schwarzkopf, he was 8.5 years old.

Norman showed up at my mom and dad's house one day. Mom was out watering the lawn (flood irrigating) and he ran across the busy road in front of their house. He ran thru the water-stormin after my mom...meowing, begging for attention, he was a kitten. Mom and Dad kept him for about 2 weeks but their other 2 cats did not like him so she asked if we would take him...he was a doll that is for sure, we said yes.

Norman quickly became Boo's cat. He slept on Boo's bed (under the covers most nights) and laid on Roo's bed while she was at school. Roo has never been lovey dovey with pets, and her bed is OFF LIMITS to ALL animals...Norm would have NONE of that! ;-P

He grew, and grew until he weighed 20lbs and could reach the middle of your back when standing on his hind legs to tap you to pay attention to him, which he did often.

Norm was fond of stinky, sweaty feet, shoes and loved to have you rub his body with the smelly socks when you got home from a long day at work or school....Boo's cleats, basketball shoes etc were a favorite-they were extra stinky.

After C-Man and Mitch came home, Norm decided they too were awesome. He slept on C-mans bed until he fell asleep and then would move to Boo's until he was asleep, he loved to cuddle with Mitch on the couch in her blankets.

It was not unusual to find Norm laying in the bathroom sink, often making it very difficult to brush your teeth or wash your hands...he loved water. He very rarely drank like a normal cat, most of the time he drank out of the sink....when forced to be an 'animal' he drank by dragging his paw in the water and drinking off of his foot. He and his bestest buddy, Skittles, would gather in the kitchen for chicken, hamburger or anything else they could convince us to give them as a treat.

In the last year, Norm has had various health issues. He grew a tumor on his right ear, which we loving referred to as 'ear boob'. We had his ear boob removed, leaving a large cat with 2 different sized ears....he didn't care!

Norm began sneezing a few months back, we chalked it off to cat cold. About 2 months ago he began vomiting and not wanting to eat. We tried soft food, hard food, etc. Vets looked at him and he had good blood work with liver count a little high but otherwise they could not find anything wrong with him.

About 3 weeks ago he took a turn for the worse. Vets believed he had an ulcer and prescribed Pepcid every day.....let me say this-TRYING to give a 20lb cat Pepcid is a sight to see! Pepcid seemed to help, Norman continued sleeping with the kids and eating less, but overall feeling better.

About 1 week ago he crashed. He would not eat, everything gave him diarrhea, vomiting, water became non palatable and his weight plummeted to 11 lbs. He craved being in the sink, but was to weak to get in himself...I would place him there and turn the water on for him to stick his whole head in.

Yesterday we had to make the hard decision to let Norman go. Vet said that his liver was very swollen and he possibly had cancer...we will never know 100%, it doesn't matter now, he is happy, healthy and loving chasing the birds in Heaven. He is buried at the old house next to Bingo...his other bestest buddy!

Norm, you will be missed...we love you and will think of you often. Remember us as well! Your kids said a Prayer for you last night when we had your funeral, you were truly loved!

Friday, August 12, 2011

Atheltic Season Begins..Shoot Me Now! ;-P

Alrighty, now is when our lives become absolutely crazy!

Boo is in Freshman Football this year...makes me nervous, I will not lie. He played tackle last year, but the kids seem...BIGGER this year. I have been told, I am NOT allowed to enter the field if he is hurt, even if I have the skills to help him-it is TOTALLY inappropriate for your mommy to enter the playing field regardless of her abilities, she is still just your MOM. :-(

Roo begins Jr. High this year. She is excited as her 2nd year of Competitive Cheer begins, Hair extensions are in place and we have grown about a foot....nice-she will be taller than the teachers. Entering Jr. High also allows for other athletic choices, she is EAGER to have Track start-she, like Boo, RUNS LIKE THE WIND!!!

C-Man is in 4th grade this year and is beginning his first year of Tackle Football...see all of the above info about Boo to see how I feel about the whole tackle idea...ugh. We ended flag football with a broken toe last year, and that wasn't even a real game, that was playing flag football in a friends yard-BAREFOOT! Praying this year is easier on the body as C-Man is growing up and into his athletic own.

Mitch is hitting 2nd grade. This will be her first year in Competitive Cheer. She is excited to show off her moves and splits-I know this because we do it at home, the grocery store, the dentist office, Church etc ;-P

We are looking forward to more time with a new/old friend 'S'. S will not be able to come join our family, but he is going to remain a special part of it. We are excited to watch him grow and flourish where he is living now, and desire to be part of his life LONG TERM-something he has not had in the past. Life amazes me, the twists and turns and how I try to control it all from my end, when God has it all wrapped up ahead of time.

Looking forward to new things, old things and just being!

Wednesday, August 10, 2011

Roo Funny

Last night I was reading the news online while Roo looked over my shoulder. She was astounded at what she read-just the headline:

"Four Armed Men Kick In Apartment Door, Rob Residents At Gunpoint."

R: MOM, those guys had 4 arms? WOW!
Mom: enough said......

Thursday, August 04, 2011


So many things going on in my mind. Will bullet point it so I do not write forever

* Praying for Haiti-Tropical Storm Emily has been pelting Haiti with wind and rain. Who says prayer doesn't work-storm is now miraculously disappearing!

* Roo is excited....not only is she going to Jr. High, Saturday she is going to get her hair did...that is right, we are getting box braid extensions....WOOHOO for LONG hair! Will post pics later.

* Worried that AFTER the long hair will be in place, Roo will have a horrible tic due to the fact that she will for the first time in her life have hair 'that moves' that she will flip her head around so much that people in Jr. High will think she is....'special' :-)

* Boo is starting HIGH SCHOOL...this makes me weak in the knees. Am I old enough to have a high schooler? Will he enjoy being a Freshman? So...many...thoughts...

* Tomorrow is K, our Funsitters, last day. Always makes us sad to see her go back home to Cali. Of course, it means school will be starting soon as will though.

* Cheer season is starting again tomorrow and then throw in C-Man's Football...going to be running around like we work at Headless Chicken Industries (Thanks for the title Amy)

* Wishing our income tax return, the Adoption Credit part, would come...STILL reviewing it, since February...Really? It is OUR MONEY that we spent to adopt...I have a few choice words for the ole IR*, but if I put them here I could possibly be audited....haha

Wednesday, August 03, 2011

Dinner Conversation

Now, I would NEVER tell anyone that our dinner conversations were 'normal'. We enjoy sitting at the table as a family and talking about our days, enjoying each others company etc. Sometimes...this can be 'dangerous'

In our home we tend to be pretty open with the kids about our bodies, parts and functions. Having 2 parents that used to work on an Ambulance tends to do that. We 'prefer' the kids use different names for certain body parts when in public, but when at home, we are very frank about things, sometimes this can come back to haunt us. Here is a dinner conversation about 2 weeks back....

C-Man: Mom, where do eggs come from?
Mom: From chickens
Boo: chickens butts (said with ornery smirk on his face)
C-Man: eeewwww...really?
Mom: Well, yes
Roo: If it is an egg, it has to come from a girl chicken..girls have vagin* chickens have vagin*'s
Mom: um...not sure, may have to google that one
Mitch: I'm a girl, do I have Angina?
Mom: V..agina is a girl part, Angina is a form of a heart attack/Chest pains. Yes, you are a girl; yes you have a Vagin*
Dad: Oy vey!

Wednesday, July 27, 2011

C-Man Funny

Two Sundays ago our Church had Communion. As Baptists, we do this maybe 1 time a month or so. C-man has now hit 10, and is to old for Children's Church and must sit in the main sermon area. I don't know if I agree with that since he has a difficult time understanding what is going on with the regular sermon, and I feel he would get more out of the children church activities than he does when he sits with us.
This, is the conversation we had yesterday, 2 weeks AFTER the fact...

C-Man: Hey mom, I liked when we were at church a couple of weeks ago and we had that snack.

Mom: What snack?

C-Man: You know, the little square and the juice, it wasn't apple juice was weird.

Mom: Oh....THAT

C-Man: Yeah, but we need to tell Pastor G that I was still hungry after that snack and we should get more.

Mom: Oh no C-Man (trying to stifle my giggle..he still cracks me up with the lack of understanding of many things since he was much older when he came home from Haiti) That was called Communion. We take it to remember the sacrifice that Jesus made for us on the Cross when he died for our sins.

C-Man: (staring blankly at me)

Mom: The little bread is supposed to be like Christ body and the juice is to be like Christ blood

C-Man: (Now a horrified look on his face) You mean, it is like we are eating Jesus?

Mom: um....Pastor.....

Monday, July 25, 2011

Visits & Summer Fun

Crazy Kids with K ;-P

Mitch @ the Zoo-She LOVED petting the butterfly

Mitch with staright hair...peopel think she has Mickey Mouse ears when her hair is like this...haha

C-Man and Mitch @ the Parade

Roo left home for the first time this last week, she was enjoying her time at Church Camp-YEEHAW..She had a blast, came home exhausted, full of knowledge and sad to be done but glad to be home..ALL rolled into one.

We had a visit with a little friend this past week, a little guy that we hope may some day be part of our family. Right now we have done paperwork, and put our names in with the appropriate people, now we must wait for the powers that be to make their decision.

If things pan out the way we are hoping and Praying for them to, we will post here if has indeed come to be with us. Continue to Pray for the right decisions to be made, (although selfishly I want it to be us) and that all, especially God and the little boy are served.

We are enjoying the past little bits of summer. The kids with K, the 'Fun Sitter Extraordinaire' are enjoying the zoo, water park, pool, lemonade stands and slip-n-slides.

Sunday, July 10, 2011

My Favorite Peeps

Us on New Years Eve of 2011

Us at Yummy Tucano's May 2011

( Don't let Boo's sad look fool you, he is playing the part of a brooding teen)

Friday, July 08, 2011

A Wise Woman Once Said

Sometimes The fear Of The Unknown, The Fear Of Leaving Our Own Comfort Zone, Keeps Us From Doing What Is Truely Planned For Us~Please, Let Me Not Be Afraid...
LeAnne 2011

Friday, July 01, 2011

Hot Dog Cook Out

For our 20th Wedding Anniversary my parents got us an outdoor fire pit. Many a night the kids beg "can we burn our own dinner?" Nothing better than Brats, hot dogs, Smores and memories!

Mitch taking charge of 3 brats

C-Man posin' and looking cool

Daddy burning his meal

Roo trying to fend off Goefer the dog

Boo eating his 'burnt dinner'

Mitch Cheer Fun

Here is Mitch and her Bestest friend J...Two peas in A Pod!

Wednesday, June 29, 2011

Summer In Full Swing

Hey, long time no see!

Summer is in full swing and we are enjoying it tremendously. Evening bike rides thru the neighborhood with the kids; 5:45am walks with hubby; Day time fun for the kids with K, The Nanny Extraordinaire, and busy work schedules. Been able to set aside time to attend Church EVERY SUNDAY! God is VERY good!

We are approaching a new life change with the possibility of adding a new member to our family. We shall see how the Lord plays the plan out before us, but we hope and pray for this person every day. We shall update everyone if it happens..until then Prayers are coveted for God's Will to be done.

Of course, those that know me, know my OCD is in FULL SWING with the above possibility and the paperwork involved...what a roller coaster of a ride. Beginning Home study visits soon and we will go from there...oy vey! ;-P

Sunday, June 26, 2011


Have you ever wanted to do something that everyone didn't like? Have you felt drawn/destined by God to do something that ever mortal person thought you were insane to do? THAT has been the last month of our lives.

We have been contemplating doing something that we feel drawn to do only to be met with odd looks and major cautions from people we love. We know that their desire is good, that they love us and care for us and our family, but it is have NO support about something that is life changing for so many. I have felt utter frustration over the mixed feelings...elation at the ability to help someone and fear that I held in my own heart. Came to God in Prayer and with my family in our home and felt that we were all in agreement that we are making the right decision only to have others look in from the outside tell us NO, you are CRAZY.

We continue to pray for God's guidance, and understanding from the outside world. That only God's will be done, not ours or others.

Saturday, May 28, 2011

R.I.P. Grammy!

Mary Perryman
Mary (Pegram) Perryman went home to be with her husband who couldn't wait another day. Mary was the love of his life.
She missed his teasing, his affection, laughter and most of all the dancing. They loved to dance.
Mary was born May 14, 1932, in Caldwell, Ida., to Garry and Goldie Pegram of Homedale, Ida.
She married Richard "Cotton" Perryman June 27, 1948, in Winnemuca, Nev. They had four children, Pam (Ron) Garner, Cheryl Clark, Garry (Susan) Perryman and Richard Perryman II.
Mary was a devoted wife, a loving and kind mother and a caring grandmother. Her favorite things in her earlier years were knitting, crochet, and macramé.
She loved fishing and enjoyed traveling with Cotton, especially after his retirement. They enjoyed so many, many friends and treasured times with their families.
Mary's favorite times were family reunions - the camping, laughter and card playing. But any trip to Jackpot or Wildhorse she could be ready with a day's notice. She knew how to talk to those machines.
Mary loved lots of shoes, purses and her jewelry. She missed the days of fancy hats, dresses and gloves.
Mary is survived by her daughter, Pam Garner of Caldwell, and her son, Garry Perryman of Trenton, N.J., eight grandchildren, 10 great-grandchildren, and two great- great grandchildren.
Mary was preceded in death by her husband, Cotton in 1998, her daughter Cheryl in 1999, and son Rick in 2008, her mother and a sister.
Mary became too weak to battle a return of cancer. Three days before she left us, she asked her nephew Terry and her sister Betty to get her up so they could visit - Mary's way of saying, thank you for your constant love.
Services will be held at Flahiff Funeral Chapel in Caldwell, Idaho at 11 a.m., Tuesday, May 31, with a private family interment following at Wilder Cemetery in Wilder, Ida. A luncheon will take place following the services at 2005 East Linden at the community hall next to Mary's home.
All friends and family are asked to attend and share your memories of Mary. Mary's online guestbook is available at Published in Idaho Press Tribune on May 26, 2011

Friday, April 22, 2011


I have not posted for a while. I have been busy, heart sick and just ARGH!

I have had several families contact me about problems with their adopted children...possibilities of disruptions and just frustration. I want to help so much, I really do...we have struggles of our own as well, and contrary to popular belief, I do NOT have all the answers. ;-)
I had written a long post about how I felt about adoption, disruption and the pain it causes ALL parties involved. It was wonderful to get it out of my head and heart, but not for public consumption. I do NOT want to seem like I am judging anyone, do not wish to hurt anyone or not be able to get my point across in the way it was meant to come across....therefore, I have deleted it.

I also heard today that my Grandma P is ill. Grandma P is 70 some odd years old and has beaten Cancer and live to tell about it. Over the last year she has aged so much, she is tired and worn from the years of loss she has suffered....outlived a husband, a daughter and a son. She is currently in a nursing/assisted living home. My aunt called me today to tell me that Gran may not be long for this Earth....I am so conflicted about how I feel about it...happy for her to finally be with her husband she has missed so much, but sad for those of us who will miss her. Whatever the good Lord chooses, I know it will be the right one, but not for us to understand until some time later.

I pray every night, and ask those of you that check in here, to pray for me as I try to discern what is ahead, choices that are made and that wisdom pours from me to others so I may make some difference to them

Monday, March 21, 2011

Loss in Adoption

One thing people always say when they talk to us or our children when we discuss adoption is how 'lucky' the kids are that we adopted them. I love to tell people that WE are the ones who are lucky enough to be blessed to raise them as ours, and that we have the opportunity to do so because someone else made a very difficult decision to give their child/ren up.

One thing many do not understand bout adoption is the loss involved in it. In order for us to be happy and joyful that we have children, someone else must be sad that they are giving their child away to be raised by someone else. While I am so honored to have the kids I have, in a perfect world, their Birth families would have had the option of raising them on their own, without this even being a 'choice' they had to make.

People underplay the loss that a child feels during the process of adoption, one that can last their entire lives. I see this sadness, anger, misunderstanding and grappling with the truth in my own kids every day.
Does this mean they are unhappy with their lives? No. Does it mean we are not doing a good job raising them? No. What it means is that they have an innate NEED to know WHO they are, WHERE they came from and WHY their life is the way it is.
One of the things we try to tell our kids often is that it is OK to ask questions about Haiti, Adoption, their Birth Families etc. We WANT them to understand that it does NOT make us angry nor does it make us feel makes us happy to be able to share with them what we know about their pasts and to find out what we do not know so we can fill in the blanks if possible.

To see your child hurting due to something no one can change, it is hard. I pray that we will be blessed to pass on to our children as much knowledge about themselves and one day make a trip to Haiti to see where they are from and hopefully reconnect with Birth Families. Until then, I pray for guidance and wisdom in raising them to be proud of who they are, sure of their places in this world and their guarantee for the next one.

Saturday, March 12, 2011

Praying for Japan

Prayers of healing for the People of Japan. A 8.9 Earthquake hit and then set off a Tsunami with 30 Foot wall of water. For an Industrialized Nation, where Haiti is not that industrialized, this is a major hit. Many have passed during this tragedy and the counts are not all in yet. Remember Haiti, New Zealand and now Japan, as they battle to survive.

Tuesday, March 08, 2011

Good Visit

It has been an absolute wonderful 4 days with my Sister, R. I am hoping she puts some pics up soon so I can scavenge from them and post them here.
R's visit came at a hard, but wonderfully healing time. Monday, March 7th, marked 3 years to the day our Dad died. This is the first time R has been here since the funeral, and it allowed us to spend some quality time alone and visit at Rick's grave. We talked ALOT....healed ALOT and enjoyed just being together.

Being the oldest of all of my Sib's (E from the same mother) and R.L and R (from the same father) has allowed me to share my wisdom with them. I am 6.5 years older than E and was raised with him in the same home. I am 19 years older than R.L and 21 years older than R, they were raised in California with their mother.
I was able to experience life with Rick differently than R.L and R did. Our memories are different of him, and I was given many messages for them by Rick, in case he was not able to share his life with them as they got older.
I hope I was able to give some of those messages to R in a clear and concise way, to make sure that she knows that she was loved ALOT by our father, even tho many times he was unable to show it outwardly.

I was glad we were able to go to Rick's grave on his anniversary, leave some flowers, cry and blare The Beatles from the truck as snow fell....Rick, You are missed!

Tuesday, March 01, 2011

The Gift

In my lifetime I have received many Gifts that have reminded me that GOD is watching over me. Today, I was brought to tears by a gift from someone, a blessing from a messenger...the hands and feet of GOD on this Earth.

After work today I was approached by somone I know and love dearly, a family friend. This person told me that even though she does not 'go to church', she has always been Christian and tithes to an envelope. Once that envelope is full, she prays to GOD to tell her where that money is to go. She said often times it goes to the local Homeless Shelter, Salvation Army, or person she knows needs it.
Her envelope was full, and she had not felt the definite answer the last few days as to where it should go...not 100% like she usually does.
She said that last night she prayed again for GOD to put in her heart a name, a place where the money was needed and could be families name popped into her head so vivid that she woke her husband to tell him, he smiled and said he agreed, that we were needy and that the funds could be used to the best of its ability.
Today when she appraoched me and handed me an envelope, I thought it was a card. She told me what I have told you, and that it isn't from Her, but GOD...that she wants NO THANKS other than seeing it work the way it needed to, where GOD had intended it to go.
I kissed her cheek and hugged her and off I went.

I ran a couple of errands and dropped kids off at home before heading to a friends to pick something up. I reached into my purse and saw the card. I smiled, thinking how sweet it was for a friend to think of me, and assumed it had a nice note and maybe $20 in it. At the stop sign I grabbed it and opened it and I saw the money...NOT $20, NOT $30...but money that could be used to pay some bills before utilities are shut off and shoes fall off of Mitch's feet...M...O...N...E...Y... A true GIFT FROM GOD.
I quickly closed the envelope, not wanting to count it, cold from shock that this person would think of my family in this time of need, that GOD would put this on this persons heart to give when their envelope was full......
I came home and gave it to Curt...I told him what was said and he opened it...he teared up, I cried.....Tomorrow bills will be paid, Mitch will have new shoes and I will KNOW that GOD truly does perform MIRACLES, although they seem small to some, they are miracles none the less. He uses his disciples DAILY to Bless one person to another.


Monday, February 21, 2011

Vacuums Suck

Have you ever felt like you are stuck in a vacuum?

I have such frustration sometimes that all I do is getting me nowhere. I get frustrated that many days work is slow and I am don't get me wrong...getting paid to do a whole lot of nothing is nice sometimes, Other times it is down right sucky. I tend to sit there doing a crossword puzzle and think of all the things I COULD be doing at home or elsewhere. I feel I have accomplished nothing during my day and that makes me restless.

I have sent a resume out to a few places but nothing serious. I love change, really I do..but the unknown freaks me out to no end..(enter control freak here...) The thought of going somewhere else and losing my freedom to come and go as needed for the kids scares me alot. What if one of them becomes ill or there is a meeting at school I need to attend? What if one of them has a sporting event I want to go to? ARGH!

I also look back on some things and some people with regret. Many times lately I have looked back at the loss of my EMT license with quite a bit of sadness. I would LOVE to go back and get my EMT license again, possibly even go to EMT Advanced and get a job with an Ambulance locally.
Bottom of totem pole and cruddy shifts (BAD for family time)
Starting anew in something that I really do NOT have time for to begin with.
More loss of time with family and not sure of where I would go with it
MONEY to do the classes
So, when I see friends that are doing the classes I feel such anger at myself and a little bit of the wishing it was me doing it as well. I am not 100% sure that if I had the money I would be able to come up with the time. I am very overwhelmed some days with a job, house, kids and life in general to take time for a class 2-3 nights per week, but still I think about it often.

I don't know what the future holds, but I can only hope and pray that I can keep up! ;-)

Sunday, February 20, 2011

Life Changing Choices and Addiction

Well here I am a couple of months into the new year. Every year I vow to eat better, exercise more and make better choices for myself. Last year I was able to lose about 40lbs. This was BIG...I have also managed to gain back 12 of it before starting my new life choices the end of January.
I have been 'behaving myself' and trying to make better food choices and trying to mentally deal with addiction. I do not drink (maybe once in a blue moon I have a drink for fun), I do not smoke (idiotic with asthma), I do not gamble (do not think strategically and I suck at it..hehe) and I do not take drugs (not even an option), so I eat...plain and simple, eating is MY drug of choice. I have taken a good look around my family tree and addiction runs deep within it.
I eat when I am bored, stressed, hungry, tired, for the hell of it. I am trying to address the reasons I eat and look at each situation I crave food as an individual lesson for myself. I am trying to ask myself, WHY do you want to eat.... right now? Most of the time I will think about a type of food (carbs-corn tortilla's was a main staple in my diet) as well as chocolate, and I can imagine eating them until I am not happy unless I eat them. I manifest the craving into something of real hunger and need.
This has not been easy for me. Since January 29, 2011 until now, I have lost 10lbs. Now, I did NOT measure, although I wish I had, because I have lost many inches in the belly, arms and legs etc. I strive to lose so much more, while gaining more about myself than ever. To fight a mental craving may be worse than a physical need to eat. The first 2-3 days were the absolute worst. I did not time the beginning of the diet well, since it coincided with mother nature (I often don't know when this will happen due to early menopause) but it made me a nasty human to live with. I was yelling at the kids, Curt and everyone..generally being a nasty bit** to be around. Curt told me that he did NOT like my new diet and then once I eaplined WHY I was acting like I was he seemed to be more understanding. It is extremely hard to detox, live with hormone fluctuations and life changes and be kind to anyone including yourself. I have to say, I have done much better with it but I continue to try my hardest to make the right choices.
I will update here my progress. Wishing everyone out there the best in the new year!

Monday, February 14, 2011

When Two People Fell In Love

Curt and I met when I was about 14.5 years old and he was 16. We had a friend in common, he went to school with her and ran track and cross country with her. One night while staying the night at her house, we decided to go to her school dance...our ride, was Curt and his friend Corey.
I have to say, that first night I was both in love and hated him at the same time. I thought he was cute, and enjoyed the attention and danced most of the night with him... However, he made a reference to my looks (calling me the 'ugly one') and I decided that he was no longer cute, but quite an ass ;-)
About 2 days later, he began calling my house to chat. I was excited, but brought up the ugly comment again, to which he apologized (this is a running joke in our marriage to this day...he said he only told me that because he was a naughty 16 year old boy who wanted to touch my chest and I would not let him...hehe) Being only 14.5 years old, I was not allowed to date. Curt began coming over to the house to spend time with me any way he could, usually helping me with my homework, watching movies sucked being that young and having a boyfriend you wanted to date, but I know now as an adult that it was for the best my parents stood their ground on the dating situation.
Curt and I 'went out' until we had our first date...a week before my 16th Birthday my high school held a Christmas Dance, we were able to attend ALONE for our first date!

We dated all thru high school, Curt graduating when I was a Sophomore, and moving out to join the working world. I finished high school two years later and moved in with him about a month after I graduated; we were married almost 1 year later at the ripe old ages of 19 and 20.

Here it is almost 24 years of being together and 20 years of marriage later (April 20th, 2011 to be exact) and we have been thru ups and downs together. We have been pregnant 4 times and lost 4 babies...we have watched friends marry, divorce and pass on. We have moved from rental to rental to rental and then on to our own home. We have adopted 4 of the most wonderful kids a family could ask for and been with each other thru all of it...thick and thin.

To all the skeptics who figure if you marry early, live with each other before marriage and the like, we say Thank You..for thinking we could not do it, nor would not make it...for you have given us the chance to stick out our tongues and say PPPbbbttt! ;-)


Monday, February 07, 2011


I have so much to go over and decided I would just bullet point it... ;-)

* Haiti has been on the mind of our family alot lately. I hope to get to take a trip with some other adoptive mothers in April or so...$$ hopefully available
* Kids have kept us busy. Have fun watching their games and performances, but will be happy to have less on our plate.
* Getting to visit with old friend tonight should be awesome. I know she is trying to sell me something I don't really want or need, but to reconnect will be great.
* Going between the idea of staying where I am at my job or looking for something with growth potential...either way, change sucks. Keeping options open.
* Hoping I can muster the fortitude to make a Womens Bible study every Tuesday night at our Church. Want to go, Basketball will be over (track starts) but hoping I make myself learn so I can grow.
* Feel guilty, have not been to church once yet this is February
* Missing a friend. He dropped off the map and has not made contact for a while....praying he is ok and it was nothing said or done that made him leave.
* Leaving Friday afternoon for Hailey...Cheer Competition. Sharing room with M.L should be fun..bring the Margarita maker please!
* Need to upload videos of cheer and basketball here for others to see...need time and Curt's computer to do so.
* Working on new diet. To cold to exercise outside (I prefer walking the neighborhood to treadmill). Down 4lbs this week and feeling successful...cannot wait for walking to begin and hopefully the 'hangry' (hungry and angry) feeling to subside! ;-) I feel the skinnier version of me trying to escape (maybe I will quit shutting her up with chocolate!)
* Exercise I will do inside consists of dancing around like a crazy woman while cleaning. Did so before work today...makes my pale face(mostly my nose) shine bright red for several hours. :-(

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Game Time Baby

Lately we have been a flurry of activity. BooBoo has mad 2 basketball games and has shown an aggressive side that we were not sure he had. He is jumping up and stuffing the players on the opposing team so they cannot get a shot, getting fouled and making his free throws like a pro. Tonight he led his team to victory in Overtime. Official stats were- ‎5 points, 2 rebounds, 3 steals, and 2 assists (one of which was for the go ahead score).

Roo has competed in 2 cheer competitions, taking 1st in both. I have to say that their performance last Sat. 22nd, they were in TOP performance. Mistakes that troubled them in the past seemed to fade away and they made it look easy....all of us parents were proud, the girls were proud of themselves as well.

C-Man has had 1 basketball game and 1 Bye week....try to explain Bye week to a kid that LOVES to run and 'do' his chosen sport on Saturday's..haha I think he is finally getting the idea of the game, but at his age they still travel with the ball like they are on vacation. ;-)

Mitch had her first Cheer performance and LOVED IT! Not only did she do the dance, but she finishes the routine up in the front left side of the group in FULL SPLITS....she is so excited to be able to show off her splits for anyone and everyone who will let her.

Curt and I are enjoying going to the various activities, but it can be tiring at times...we try to remind ourselves that we can rest when they are grown and we are retired!

Friday, January 14, 2011

The Fun Begins

Today starts our 1.5 months of Hell...hehe
Tonight we will venture to Mitch's cheer practice from 5-6:15pm. 6:30pm we begin Roo's cheer practice.
Saturday AM we have Mitch's first performance (will post pics of her in her cheer uniform later) as well as practice for Roo and C-Mans first Basketball game.
Later in the afternoon (3pm) Roo is having 3 friends accompany her to get their toes and nails done and hair coiffed and then sleepover and bow making to celebrate her 11th year of life, she is so excited!

Since I have been gone so long from here, I did not commemorate Roo's Bday very well....I will hopefully be able to put up new pics of ALL the kids soon (read: once I get them to work and can scan them) so everyone can see how they have grown.

Well, off to enjoy the weekend and HOPEFULLY get some rest as well!

Wednesday, January 12, 2011

Catching Up

WOW, have I been gone a LONG TIME! ;-) TRYING to make a New Years Resolution to write here more often. I find it therapeutic to purge, and this may be a good spot to do it.

Been busy as usual. 4 kids seems to take it all out of me...of course, add in working full time and 4 kids activities and life in general and POOF-days do NOT have enough hours in them.

Kids are all growing. BooBoo is 13.5, Roo is 11, C-Man is 9 and Mitch is 6. The older two have passed me in height, not that this is an amazing feat, but thought I would mention it any way. hehe

Curtis brother Derek has had his 2nd and LAST!!! Liver transplant. He got he call the weekend of Curtis 40th birthday. We threw Curt on a plane and got him up there in time to see Derek get wheeled into O.R. He spent his 40th birthday on a funky couch in the hospital, taking turns with his sister, Heather, to make sure Derek had someone with him all the time. Not really your favorite way to spend a b-day, but he would not have given it up for the world.

Curtis is still working in the same place and enjoying it very much. He has become quite the salesman when it comes to fixing your commercial sprinkler ad fire alarm items..hehe
I am still working at ISE doing Front Office Diva. I am a Jack of all Trades, Master of none. Still get to work Fights every 6-8 weeks, NICE....blood, guts and fun stuff.

I have so much in my head, but fear blog-o-ria if I am not careful....will try to process more before I lay it all out here.