Monday, March 21, 2011

Loss in Adoption

One thing people always say when they talk to us or our children when we discuss adoption is how 'lucky' the kids are that we adopted them. I love to tell people that WE are the ones who are lucky enough to be blessed to raise them as ours, and that we have the opportunity to do so because someone else made a very difficult decision to give their child/ren up.

One thing many do not understand bout adoption is the loss involved in it. In order for us to be happy and joyful that we have children, someone else must be sad that they are giving their child away to be raised by someone else. While I am so honored to have the kids I have, in a perfect world, their Birth families would have had the option of raising them on their own, without this even being a 'choice' they had to make.

People underplay the loss that a child feels during the process of adoption, one that can last their entire lives. I see this sadness, anger, misunderstanding and grappling with the truth in my own kids every day.
Does this mean they are unhappy with their lives? No. Does it mean we are not doing a good job raising them? No. What it means is that they have an innate NEED to know WHO they are, WHERE they came from and WHY their life is the way it is.
One of the things we try to tell our kids often is that it is OK to ask questions about Haiti, Adoption, their Birth Families etc. We WANT them to understand that it does NOT make us angry nor does it make us feel makes us happy to be able to share with them what we know about their pasts and to find out what we do not know so we can fill in the blanks if possible.

To see your child hurting due to something no one can change, it is hard. I pray that we will be blessed to pass on to our children as much knowledge about themselves and one day make a trip to Haiti to see where they are from and hopefully reconnect with Birth Families. Until then, I pray for guidance and wisdom in raising them to be proud of who they are, sure of their places in this world and their guarantee for the next one.

Saturday, March 12, 2011

Praying for Japan

Prayers of healing for the People of Japan. A 8.9 Earthquake hit and then set off a Tsunami with 30 Foot wall of water. For an Industrialized Nation, where Haiti is not that industrialized, this is a major hit. Many have passed during this tragedy and the counts are not all in yet. Remember Haiti, New Zealand and now Japan, as they battle to survive.

Tuesday, March 08, 2011

Good Visit

It has been an absolute wonderful 4 days with my Sister, R. I am hoping she puts some pics up soon so I can scavenge from them and post them here.
R's visit came at a hard, but wonderfully healing time. Monday, March 7th, marked 3 years to the day our Dad died. This is the first time R has been here since the funeral, and it allowed us to spend some quality time alone and visit at Rick's grave. We talked ALOT....healed ALOT and enjoyed just being together.

Being the oldest of all of my Sib's (E from the same mother) and R.L and R (from the same father) has allowed me to share my wisdom with them. I am 6.5 years older than E and was raised with him in the same home. I am 19 years older than R.L and 21 years older than R, they were raised in California with their mother.
I was able to experience life with Rick differently than R.L and R did. Our memories are different of him, and I was given many messages for them by Rick, in case he was not able to share his life with them as they got older.
I hope I was able to give some of those messages to R in a clear and concise way, to make sure that she knows that she was loved ALOT by our father, even tho many times he was unable to show it outwardly.

I was glad we were able to go to Rick's grave on his anniversary, leave some flowers, cry and blare The Beatles from the truck as snow fell....Rick, You are missed!

Tuesday, March 01, 2011

The Gift

In my lifetime I have received many Gifts that have reminded me that GOD is watching over me. Today, I was brought to tears by a gift from someone, a blessing from a messenger...the hands and feet of GOD on this Earth.

After work today I was approached by somone I know and love dearly, a family friend. This person told me that even though she does not 'go to church', she has always been Christian and tithes to an envelope. Once that envelope is full, she prays to GOD to tell her where that money is to go. She said often times it goes to the local Homeless Shelter, Salvation Army, or person she knows needs it.
Her envelope was full, and she had not felt the definite answer the last few days as to where it should go...not 100% like she usually does.
She said that last night she prayed again for GOD to put in her heart a name, a place where the money was needed and could be families name popped into her head so vivid that she woke her husband to tell him, he smiled and said he agreed, that we were needy and that the funds could be used to the best of its ability.
Today when she appraoched me and handed me an envelope, I thought it was a card. She told me what I have told you, and that it isn't from Her, but GOD...that she wants NO THANKS other than seeing it work the way it needed to, where GOD had intended it to go.
I kissed her cheek and hugged her and off I went.

I ran a couple of errands and dropped kids off at home before heading to a friends to pick something up. I reached into my purse and saw the card. I smiled, thinking how sweet it was for a friend to think of me, and assumed it had a nice note and maybe $20 in it. At the stop sign I grabbed it and opened it and I saw the money...NOT $20, NOT $30...but money that could be used to pay some bills before utilities are shut off and shoes fall off of Mitch's feet...M...O...N...E...Y... A true GIFT FROM GOD.
I quickly closed the envelope, not wanting to count it, cold from shock that this person would think of my family in this time of need, that GOD would put this on this persons heart to give when their envelope was full......
I came home and gave it to Curt...I told him what was said and he opened it...he teared up, I cried.....Tomorrow bills will be paid, Mitch will have new shoes and I will KNOW that GOD truly does perform MIRACLES, although they seem small to some, they are miracles none the less. He uses his disciples DAILY to Bless one person to another.