Sunday, March 09, 2008

Church Outburts...

Since Friday, my emotions have been a bundle of so close to the other that they are hard to tell apart.
Today I decided to go ahead and attend Church. I didn't know if I wanted to go, but knew in my heart that I really needed to. Right before we left Pastor Geoff called me saying he had read the obit. in the paper and that he was sorry to hear about my loss and that he and many of the other members wanted to hug our necks when we arrived today. They were all amazing to see and made us feel very happy to have gone.
Well, today was Communion. Usually when they pass the flat bread wafer I do not eat it since it is unleavened wheat bread and I have Celiac. I usually take the juice though and just pray during the 'body' part of the ritual. Curtis was sitting next to me and took his bread and was sitting prayerfully. He was kind of fiddling with it spinning it in his fingers as he thought and reflected about life. Low and behold..that turkey dropped his bread on the floor....made a weird face and looked around to see if anyone had noticed. He bent over picked it up and looked at it with a face that showed what he was thinking 'is it safe to eat? was on the floor...who all has walked on this floor? I can't throw it away, it signifies the body of Christ'...I saw all of this and something hit me inside....a giggle, a cry, a desire to stand up and scream with laughter and sadness that would make everyone think I was insane. I hurried and turned away from him so I wouldn't see his face...I began to have tears run down my face and a giggle and cry were trying desperatley to escape. I turned into a pile of crying and giggling mess right before everyone. The more I tried to keep it in, the more it wanted to come out. I was succesfull (mostly) but Curtis looked at me and asked if I was ok and then noticed I was giggleing AND crying. He looked so perplexed that this didnt help matters either....oy vey....what a day. Once we were leaving he people came up and greeted us with was nice. No one mentioned my weirdness...maybe out of kindness, I am pretty sure that they all now think I am insane. :-)


Sherry said...

That IS pretty funny and sad at the same time. I was a weeping mess at church today as well, so you aren't the only crazy one. :)

Julie said...

My sweet LeAnne, crazy is the first step in the healing process. Sadly the steps don't go in what one might call a straight line. You will be sane one day... then break down for no apparent reason.

I am not sure why, but crazy always happens in public.