Weightless and Empty

This year as Thanksgiving comes up I have so much to be thankful for. This will be the first year Kai and Nikaya will get to spend with us as a family. December 13th will be 1 year home from Haiti...where did the time go??

I think of the families that are still waiting for their children to come home and the loss and sadness they have of missing another Holiday with those children and it makes me cry...I have been there. I think about the families so much that it effects my sleep, making it necessary for me to take med's to help me fall asleep or I would be up all hours of the night...thinking....scheming of ways to get them home faster...wishing and praying for things that it isn't my place to decide, but still I think about them.

There is a song by Sarah McLachlan called 'In the Arms of The Angel'. This song speaks to me and brings me to tears every time I hear it. Her words are below:


Spend all your time waiting for that second chance
For the break that will make it ok
There's always some reason to feel not good enough?
And it's hard at the end of the day
I need some distraction,
oh beautiful release
Memories seep from my veins
Let me be empty and weightless,
and maybe I'll find some peace tonight

In the arms of an Angel, fly away from here
From this dark, cold hotel room,
and the endlessness that you fear
You are pulled from the wreckage
of your silent reverie
You're in the arms of an Angel;
may you find some comfort here

So tired of the straight line,
and everywhere you turn
There's vultures and thieves at your back
The storm keeps on twisting,
you keep on building the lies
That you make up for all that you lack
It don't make no difference,
escaping one last time
It's easier to believe
In this sweet madness,
oh this glorious sadness
That brings me to my knees

In the arms of an Angel,
far away from here
From this dark, cold hotel room,
and the endlessness that you fear
You are pulled from the wreckage
of your silent reverie
In the arms of an Angel;
may you find some comfort here

I would love to be weightless and empty of worry and find the peace that would allow me to sleep.
Everywhere we (the adoption workers, the families and the adopted children) turn, there are vultures at our backs...the corruption is unimaginable.
The sweet madness and glorious sadness brings the families to their knees. I have lived thru that as well....4 times for myself.....it is such an arm aching and heart wrenching situation to be in.

I think of all of the kids and their families as I celebrate my children's First Thanksgiving home, and pray for them to be strong and that they truly know that someday this pain will all be a distant memory and a journey that they are Thankful they made and that I was blessed enough to be a part of.