A Day In The Life of The Haiti Lady: My Pity

Thursday, January 17, 2008

My Pity

Lately I have been feeling very down. Things have been rough with Haitian Adoption, new law changing, making it harder for families to adopt. Changing agencies and having not even gotten the chance to meet my new group has been frustrating.
I feel like I am trying to prove who I am, what I can do, what I know and not getting very far with it. The frustration has been enormous for me and for that I ask for Prayer.

There have been a few days that I have felt like bagging it all and just substitute teaching at the kids school whenever I could..just to have a 'normal job'. I get frustrated that I am frustrated because to me, it isn't a job, but a calling that I have answered.

The other day, while feeling particularly down I received my W2 in the mail for taxes. I am not ashamed to say it in public, but I made a whopping $5200 for the entire year of work. Now, THAT had me depressed as I looked at my phone bill (now getting better due to changing to Internet phone) and all the other bills I have incurred doing my work. The stress I feel, the time it takes away from my family doing it and the openness I have allowed myself with my Adoptive Families.
Then, in my pity I dug thru the mail and found a card. This card was from Tim, Beki, Jamie and Gracie. To open a card and read what they had said, the included photo, the smiles on their faces and to be a family finally...it made it all worth while. The happiness I saw on the families face was one thing, but to see a little girl, finally home...healthy...knowing that she is eating ALL she wants and is kissed ALL she wants and more...made it ALL worth while.

I walked to the fridge and looked at the faces of the kids that I have seen come home.....more than 50 kids...and the families I have helped unite....more than 37...and my pity began to disappear.
To all my families that read this, past, present and hopefully future. For the friends that I have made while 'working' and friendships that I hope will last a lifetime.
THANK YOU!

2 comments:

Amy Brownell said...: No, thank YOU! It is usually the most worthy of professions that get paid the least. Think of yourself, teachers, police, firefighters, etc. Those that serve the most, receive the least monetarily, but hopefully the gratification of their work far supercedes the money. I've been a teacher and an adoption worker and it IS worth it! You have families like mine as fruit of your efforts.
WE LOVE YOU!!!

Love,
the BROWNELL FAMILY =); 2:16 PM
Angela said...: Yowza...over 50 children?? If only God could use me to touch lives the way YOU do!! That's so wonderful!!! Just think... 50 kids grow up get married, have kids who grow up and get married and have kids who grow up and get married... See where I'm going with this? Your efforts will have played a part in the lives of so many from here until when Jesus comes back. Your efforts and life has LITTERALLY changed the world forever (insert cheesy movie where you wish you were never born and then see how different it would be if that were true). Seriously.. the impact you have on others is HUGE and not just the families that you were an agent for..... both through support and friendship I have no doubt you've touched countless lives. You've been quite priceless to me for sure!

Much love,
Angela; 3:34 PM

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We Are Responsible

We are responsible for children who put chocolate fingers everywhere,
who like to be tickled,
who stomp in puddles and ruin their pants,
who sneak Popsicles before supper,
who erase holes in math workbooks,
who can never find their shoes.
And we are responsible for those who stare at photographers from behind barbed wires,
who can't bound down the street in a new pair of sneakers, who never "counted potatoes",
who are born in places we wouldn't be caught dead,
who never got to the circus,
who live in an x-rated world.
We are responsible for children
who give us sticky kisses and fistfuls of dandelions,
who sleep with the dog and bury goldfish,
who hug us in a hurry and forget their lunch money,
who cover themselves with Band-Aids and sing off-key,
who squeeze toothpaste all over the sink,
who slurp their soup.
And we are responsible for those who never get dessert,
who have no safe blanket to drag behind them,
who watch their parents watch them die,
who can't find any bread to steal,
who don't have any rooms to clean up,
whose pictures aren't on anybody's dresser,
whose monsters are real.
We are responsible for children who spend all their allowance before Tuesday,
who throw tantrums in the grocery store and pick at their food,
who like ghost stories,
who shove dirty clothes under the bed ,
and never rinse the tub,
who get visits from the tooth fairy,
who don't like to be kissed in front of the carpool,
who squirm in church and scream in the phone,
whose tears we sometimes laugh at and
whose smiles can make us cry.
And we are responsible for those whose nightmares come in the daytime,
who will eat anything,
who have never seen a dentist,
who aren't spoiled by anybody,
who go to bed hungry and cry themselves to sleep,
who live and move, but have no being.
We are responsible for children who want to be carried, and for those who must be...
For those we never give up on,
and for those who don't get a second chance.
For those we smother... and for those who will grab the hand of anybody kind enough to offer it.
~Ina Hughes