Sunday, December 30, 2007

Food Issues, Dieting and Celiac

I decided to give a little update on me, the D Word: DIETING and how it goes....

I have been working as diligently as possible to keep from gaining any weight during the Holiday Season. I am still managing to keep the weight at 28lbs lost! I have encouraged Curtis to go along with me and he is down about 2lbs. He is excited to see how much he can lose as well. He is FAR from needing to lose as much as I do, but feels that some off the middle will help the overall picture of life. :-)

I am proud of the fact that I have maintained the loss even through Christmas. We have received candy, baked goods (which thankfully I cannot eat anyway) and more candy. This however is like supplying crack to a drug addict as anything chocolate is my addiction. I do not use the term addiction lightly here either. The big joke throughout my life has been that if you covered ANYTHING in chocolate I would probably eat it....probably true. hehe
I crave chocolate like an alcoholic would crave booze, a drug addict would crave their next fix. I have a personal NEED for chocolate. I tell ya, trying to break that addiction is hard. I joked about taping a piece of chocolate to my arm to lick whenever a fix was needed (like a cigarette patch) but decided that I would probably just eat my whole arm. I have decided the best way to defeat this addiction without going 100% cold turkey is to drink 1% milk with a little chocolate syrup in it. I allow myself this once a has really helped. The chocolate craving is gone and I feel like I have given myself a treat as well.

To diet is not a good thing for me. I have so many restrictions in what I can and cannot eat due to my Celiac Disease, that denying myself anything else is not an option. I must also watch myself for the fact that I am a perfectionist/control freak at things and a past Bulimic/Anorexic. During my early teen years I would starve myself. When forced to eat I would either hide my food in a napkin or purge after the meal was over. It is hard to overcome that as well, and the urge to do this can be overwhelming and the control factor with it is overwhelming as well. I think it all has to go in with the addictive tendency in my life.

My segway here is the control freak in me and the lack of control my Celiac life gives me:

The other day I gave in to the kids and we had McDonald's. Something we have not done much lately due to money and watching what we eat. The kids had their kids meals and I had some fries and a chicken sandwich, no bread. with anytime I eat out, I got something I was not supposed to eat and my Celiac went into overdrive. I ran, with 4 children in tow, from the back of a Target store to the front to make it to the restroom before becoming ill. Quite a feat that we ALL made it, I did not get sick in the middle of Target and the store didn't think I was running for the door with stolen merchandise..I was running like a thief with a load to steal too! ;-)
After I somewhat recovered, I ran into a friend of mine, who happens to have Celiac as well. She commented on the way I was looking and how the Holidays were going etc. When all of a sudden Kai says "we had to run to the potty so my mom wouldn't be sick in the store." NICE....Tell everyone there boy......
At least my friend is a fellow Celiac who knows what it is like and told me that while I continued shopping to holler for her and she would watch my kids where they stood so I didn't have to haul them all to the front again. hehe

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